Birthday Wishes for a Hurricane!

Dearest Hurricane Hadley,

It is that time of year again – when I reflect upon this past year and divulge items that will be used as evidence in your future therapy sessions. It is difficult to believe you are finally four! The Terrible 3s certainly trumped the Terrible 2s but with them came an increased sense of awareness as you realized that you can indeed conquer the world. This subsequently means Mommy and Daddy are your servants. But as I have been trying to tell you since birth: I do not run a democracy; the Johnson household is a dictatorship through and through.

Without question, you are the ruler.

You have a bright, spirited personality and keep us laughing every single day. You are beloved by your preschool teachers and would have had an incident-free year if you had not tackled your classmate Cooper a few weeks ago, who in defence hit you with bread. This was your first look at how carbs can be dangerous.

You are an intrepid hiker and love spending time in the back-country. You are well-traveled and visited three countries last year. Hands down, your favorite destination was Mexico where you learned to swim underwater and ate ice cream every day. You often remind me to stop spending all my money at Super Target because in your mind, my obsession with the Dollar Spot is the only thing standing in the way of you and Mexico’s endless ice cream.

This was a year of firsts. You went skiing, snowshoeing, roller-skating and ice skating for the first time and you loved them all. You brazenly gave your first talk in church and also refused help saying a prayer in front of all your peers. And as you blessed evil people in the world not to litter, you also divulged all our family secrets from the pulpit (you know: the ones that are supposed to be reserved for nighttime prayers).

You are the eternal optimist. When daddy was fired from his job earlier this year, you prophetically said he would find an even better job – one where they did not throw fire at people. You still think it is shocking that he ever had to work in such conditions.

Hands down, the big struggle this year was potty training. Your greatest attributes are your sheer will and stubbornness. Unfortunately, they will bring about Mommy and Daddy’s downfall. Rest assured, I will share your potty-training horrors on your wedding day, hoping for the same collective gasp I received from The Children’s Hospital “Oh Poo” seminar attendees when I shared your exploits. Because mommies never forget.

You still can’t count to 20 but are the head of the class in preschool with your letters and words. I blame your father that you are math-challenged. One of the greatest accomplishments in his life was begging his guidance counselor to waive the math credit so he could graduate from college. I am eternally grateful for this person because 15 years later, Daddy would still be in school trying to pass math.

And this is the man in charge of our finances. Pray for us, Hadley.

Well, just make sure not to disclose our sordid secrets such as when daddy mumbles about pumpkin porn in his sleep.

Your Humble Servant Mommy

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