BlogHer Babes Part I

My two and a half day estrogen overload a.k.a. BlogHer has finally come to an end. Well, it was actually three and a half days if you want to calculate the time spent in flight. Or rather, the time spent on the ground waiting for said flight that was canceled then rerouted through St. Louis. Did I mention I encountered extreme delays there as well?

Oh, and not to be forgotten is when I was handed what I thought was a harmless piece of paper as I was “selected” in the security line. I then underwent my own little private booth of puffer smoke and a veritable terrorist debriefing. Here’s a little hint for you: if you are selected in security it is not a good thing. Ever.

When I finally arrived in Chicago, my zany roommates Melina, Melissa, Meg and I hit the Whisky Skybar for a preliminary gathering that consisted of a small dark room, loud music and lots of women. Women who blatantly checked out each other’s bosoms name tags. I haven’t seen that much cleavage since…well, I guess if I was a man I could readily answer that question.

There was also blatant prostitution as women whored their business cards. “Hey, never heard of me? Likewise. Here, take this card and you will never look back.”[Insert seductive, come-hither-to-my-blog look]. I was unprepared for such debauchery and had naively printed off about 30 cards. Thirty cards that were gone within 30 seconds. I think my services would be labeled as a quickie.

I met scads of fantastic whores gals who included Lisa of Midwestern Mommy and Kristy of Slacker Moms R Us.

The next morning, I woke up at 5 a.m. (yes, that would be 4 a.m. Denver time) and went for a marvelous run along the lakeside trail. The air was dank and dark, the lake unsettled under a heady drizzling sky. I was alone for much of my trek, something I initially attributed to Chicagoans being late risers but after further retrospect decided it is because they are just a little bit smarter than I.

BlogHer was a whirlwind of swag (that I ultimately forgot in the hotel room), speed dating for chicks and classes. Lots and lots of classes. Some helpful and empowering, others notsomuch. What I was not prepared for was the rhythm and hierarchy of the blogging cliques; in some ways it was high school all over again as I was transported to the late 80s. I bemusedly sat back and observed as the band geeks accused the popular panel kids of excluding them. The only thing missing was my big bangs.

Sadly, the big hair still lives.

That night, the cocktail party was on the rooftop of the Grand Ballroom. I mingled with some fantastic gals: Jenny of Absolutely Bananas, Liz of This Full House and the two Shannons of Believer in Balance and PhatMommy.

We later wandered around lost in Chicago looking for a late-night dinner. Because getting lost is an inevitability when dealing with estrogen overload. Rest assured, we were able to ask directions due to the absence of testosterone. These events alone confirmed that I was making some bosom friends. And not the name tag kind.

Photo: Kristy and Jessica “comparing notes.”

Stay tuned for BlogHer Part II. Or rather, playing hooky from it….

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