Canadian Thanksgiving

If there’s a chance to throw a party, I take it! Especially one that commemorates a hallowed day of the Motherland, such as Thanksgiving. This October celebration has brought some interesting and amusingly ignorant comments. From Lisa’s (Jamie’s sister) friend: “Thanksgiving in October? Wow. Do they even celebrate Christmas up there?” From my next-door neighbor “I didn’t know Mormons had their own Thanksgiving.” (Somehow, she mixed up Canadian with Mormon.) I jokingly retorted, “Yeah, and we invite the pioneers to come sit at the table and eat turkey.”

This Thanksgiving was to be a grand occasion. Not only was I going to enlighten Jamie’s family on our traditions but I was also going to watch my Calgary Flames slaughter the Colorado Avalanche, all the while expounding upon the true doctrine of this Canadian sport. What could be better?

I slaved for two days over the menu. Sunday was dedicated to making pumpkin pie and the award-winning Oats and Honey Granola pie featured on Oprah. Five hours into the process, I was reminded (as I am every time) that I hate making pie. Somehow, a year in between pie-making sessions always distills my memory.

Monday was dedicated to the turkey and fixins’. My little half-breed didn’t understand the importance of this day and was whiney and needy during the preparations. Then the family arrived. Devoured. And raved. But how soon their gratitude was forgotten when they turned on the tele.

Gone was the respect. Gone was the love. What remained was a bloodbath of cruel Canuck-bashing remarks. On our hallowed day, even. First, it was 1-0, then 2-0, 3-0. I stopped watching after five goals. At that point, I announced the party was over and they’d better depart before I chucked pumpkin pie after them; the granola pie was too good to waste.

The final score: 7-3. The final score chez Johnson’s: Jamie 0, Amber 1. Sure, I lost my brazen bet and owe Jamie a backrub. But he and the clan will be in the doghouse until the next Thanksgiving comes along and I make another attempt to indoctrinate them all.

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