From The Terribles to the Terrifics

Hurricane Hadley has been going through a phase that has made me nervous the past two months: the perfect angel phase. Seriously. You’d think I could just enjoy her fun little personality but at the back of my mind, I am waiting for the fallout. These days, she finally sleeps through the night, naps 2-3 hours a day, is spirited, outgoing, loving, hilarious and is so dang enjoyable I just want to devour her rapidly-disappearing chubs.

Y’see, I’m not one of those annoying moms who constantly raves about how perfect her children are. Of course, I love my Hurricane dearly but I am well aware of her shortcomings. I should be: she is genetically predisposed to act like me. And as my own mother declared when she realized I had, in actuality, birthed Mini-Me: “PAYBACK, Amber. PAYBACK.”

Cute as she is, The Hurricane was a cranky, colicky baby. She screamed for hours, never latched on when nursing and rarely slept. Whenever folks commented, “Oh, doesn’t time just fly by?” I looked at them, exasperated, and proclaimed, “Actually, that first year was the longest of my life.” I am just not into sugar-coating like so many in the Mommy World.

I read a blog recently from somewhere in cyberspace and this woman’s honesty totally resonated with me. She confessed that it wasn’t until her child turned 2 that she truly emerged as a parent. That it seemed as though there was a postpartum fog that fell over the first couple of years of her children’s lives that was magically lifted at the onset of 2.

It was upon reading this that I finally got it: it’s not that I didn’t love my little baby and build many wonderful memories with her. It’s just that I don’t care to fraternize with children whose lives are measured in months. Well, at least not with spirited/irascible newborns who take after their mother.

But now that Hadley is a talking, walking, playing, active, full-fledged contributing member of society (she does, after all, excel when swiping my VISA card at the store), I am so enamored by her every move. Oh, and the fact that she finally seems to genuinely like me also helps.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that even though I’m excited (and SOOO ready) for baby #2 that I’m experiencing a sense of loss over my alone-time with Hadley. OK, OK, and also trepidation that Junior could be just like me. Is that so wrong and abnormal?

Of course, with a thoughtful, loving and mellow husband, there’s always hope for him. After all, the good Lord wouldn’t send TWO Mini-Mes to one family. Errr…would He?

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