How NOT to show sympathy to your sickly wife…

As I hacked, whined and moaned in the middle of the night, my beloved James made what I thought was a sweet gesture when he gave me some sympathetic snuggles and backrubs. But when I awoke an hour later, face-planted and drooling on the sheets, I realized his true intentions:

During his feigned pity session, he stole my pillow.

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