To all those new parents who are in denial: YES, YOUR LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY IS UGLY!!

My friend, Sue, is flying in for a few days from Utah today to keep me company while Jamie is gone. Sue and I go waaaaay back to our missionary days in Geneva, Switzerland. We only served together for a month but got to know each other really well. Something about living in a shoebox (due to astronomical rent) and surviving her funny but sharp tongue (she’s one of those folks who always tells it like it is.) I.e. the last time I saw her, she delightfully announced, “Ewww, you have grey in your hair!” Yeah, nice to see you, too. I am sure it will not escape her that, for the first time, I am fatter than her (she just dropped 60 pounds). Of course, the Michelin Man is skinnier than I these days.

Sue will be bringing her little boy, Lucas, in tow. He’s a couple of months younger than Hadley and I’m excited to have a playmate for her. Sue came to visit when he was a couple of months old and was still in that I’m-an-old-man-newborn-with-an-ugly-mullet-and-bald-spot-stage. Now, now, before I start getting comments that “All babies are precious blah blah blah,” yes I agree. But the vast majority of newborns are not cute. I’d even go as far as to say the are ugly. Even Gerber model Hadley had mottled skin and scrawny legs upon birth. Oh, and she cried most of her waking moments. Crying is not cute in my book.
The funny thing is that Sue was in denial. She had already given birth to a beautiful baby girl a couple of years prior but had it in her head that Lucas was, well, cute. He was not. We were driving somewhere with her when she mentioned she’d had a bunch of pictures taken of Lucas. Perplexed, she said, “I just can’t figure out why they didn’t turn out. I guess he’s just not very photogenic.” Jamie and I coughed back our laughter and bit our sarcastic tongues on that one.

I am happy to announce that now at 20 months old, Lucas has allegedly foregone all heretofore ugliness. Of course, I haven’t actually seen him in over a year but she’s sent me some cute pictures.

Of course, there’s always the possiblity of being Photoshopped….

Other Posts