Week 30 Pregnancy Updates

Many of you have asked for pictures on my “progress” and guess what: you’re not getting ‘em. Pictures are for times I care to commemorate. And Third Trimester Beluga Whaledom is a stage I’d care to forget, kind of a difficult thing when you’re in the throes of it.

My Own Private Luau
So, here are some updates. Overall, I’m still alive and well, though I’m sleeping like crap these days, which is leaving me beyond exhausted. Friday night, I tossed and turned (OK, more like slowly rotated like a roasted pig on a spicket) but could not get comfortable. I finally fell asleep at 2:30 a.m., only to wake-up at least every couple of hours to pee.

My Own Private Pyromaniac
Monitoring my temperature is tough, too. With three fans blasting me from every direction, you’d think I’d find a temperate zone (juxtapose that against poor Hunky Hubby who sleeps in his flannels and wakes up with frostbite.) He has been very empathetic towards me thus far but I know he just doesn’t get it. How can he? During a conversation the other day, I was suddenly overcome with a hot flash that almost knocked me off the couch. “What is it? What’s wrong? Why is your face all red?” he demanded. Weakly, I replied, “I think Junior just lit a match.”

My Own Private Confirmation that Men (No Matter how Well Intentioned) Have NO CLUE About Being Pregnant
I receive weekly email updates on the baby’s growth from Babycenter.com, which are generally helpful in knowing what is going on with the baby and subsequently my body. But Saturday’s update for Week 30 included the following: “Some old friends–heartburn and constipation–may take center stage again.”

Now, I don’t know about you but who needs enemies when you’ve got friends like “heartburn and constipation?” They then threw in the appearance of a “new buddy,” hemorrhoids (equivalent unto kissin’ cousins?)

Seriously, who writes those things? It must be a man because a woman would surely know better. A few weeks ago, they had some tips on getting a good night’s sleep and provided the following advice:

“EMPTY YOUR BLADDER completely when you go to the bathroom. This will help reduce the risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs), which are common during pregnancy.”
Oh really? Gee. I thought I’d stash a few ounces of reserved pee to enjoy during my next bathroom break in 15 minutes….

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