Why there will be no pumpkin weigh-offs this year

Life has been rather silent in the pumpkin patch these days. The reason? There is great mourning in the land.

When Jamie first started his season with two seedlings in his makeshift growroom last spring, they were literally busting out of the pots within a week. Jamie planted them in the ground a bit early, covered them with a hoop house and warmed them with a heater.

That first night, they froze to death.

Since it was still early in the season, Jamie’s pumpkin buddies came to the rescue by giving him a couple of starter plants. He commenced the process again and before long, he was growing one of the biggest pumpkins in Colorado. “Ricky” (Gervais) was on-track to top 1,100 pounds, Jamie’s personal best.

Then August 19, 2011 happened: Jamie discovered a crack in the cavity.

Personally, I think it looks like a pumpkin butt crack picture.

This shot is much better:

An internal crack called a Dill Ring formed inside the pumpkin and intersected a deep rib and split the pumpkin open. This means it is now rotting out. Any pumpkin with a crack in it is automatically disqualified from the weigh-offs to prevent cheaters from pumping water into it to up the weight.

Personally, I’d go for lead.

That left Jamie’s only other pumpkin: Jerry (Seinfeld). From the start, good ol’ Jerry has grown a lot slower and Jamie didn’t have big hopes for it.

Then August 27, 2011 happened: Jamie discovered a crack, which means his pumpkin season is now over. Over the next couple of weeks, he’ll try to fill the cracks with sulphur and caulk to prolong the plants from rotting out before we can showcase them on our driveway this fall.

So, how am I feeling about it all?

I’ll be honest. When Jamie’s pumpkin got taken out from the tornado a couple of years ago, I wasn’t very sad. He was far enough into the season that he couldn’t start over but it was early enough that I could have my husband back for the rest of the summer.

This latest hit is the worst. As a pumpkin widow, this is the one time of the year I actually look forward to. September is replete with pumpkin festivals, our annual pumpkin party and the weigh-offs. Now, he’s put in the work the entire season and has absolutely nothing to show for it.

The other day in the car, I confessed:

“This whole season has been a roller-coaster ride with a big letdown. I have to admit I’m over it.”

Jamie: “You have to be ‘into it’ to be ‘over it.’”


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