Black Friday’s “Blowout”

I am unsure how Black Friday even got started. It was probably some raging psychopath who thought it would be fun to use bargain hunters and desperate toy-seeking parents as puppets. Plan a shopping spree in the middle of the night after people have devoured inordinate amounts of sleep-inducing hormones from their turkey? Sounds like fun!

My hubby was among them. The insane, that is.

The reason he went shopping was not because of any particular sale but because we cannot sleep past 6 a.m. (an illness exasperated by the recent time change). Even though I was awake at 4:45 a.m., I let him brave the crowds while I stayed home to watch the kids and obsessively write my Christmas cards.

Because the world will come to an end if my Christmas newsletter is not post-marked by December 1st.

Jamie finally limped in the door 2.5 hours later. “So, what did you buy?” He had hit Best Buy and some of the biggies so I knew his loot would be impressive.

“I bought deer.”

I refrained from making a John Deer query because last I checked, we were City Folk. I gave him a blank stare.

“You know, Amber. Christmas deer for the front lawn. I got a great deal at Big Lots.”

Christmas deer? Last I checked, baby Jesus was surrounded by lowing cattle but somehow you don’t see livestock making their way to people’s lawns.

I smiled encouragingly but thought of those tacky T-shirts that bemoan, “My grandma went to Mexico and all she bought me was this dumb T-shirt.”

Only substitute husband for grandma, Black Friday for Mexico and deer for T-shirt.

Better luck next year. Only there won’t be a next year for my deer sweet hubby.

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