The Men Fight Back

My mention of Jamie’s baited anticipation for my six-week postpartum checkup brought about some colorful and entertaining comments last week. This inspired him to include a rebuttal on his blog.

The whole debate reinforces the many differences between men and women, particularly after children. On Hunky Hubby’s blog, I left a comment from a comedian on “Last Comic Standing” whereupon he joked that marriage doesn’t ruin your sex life, children do.

Welp, if my six-week post inspired women with leaking body parts to come up in arms, this one bonded The Other Half together. One of my most faithful and funniest commenters is a man who goes by the moniker, Serf ‘Rett. He included a warning to Jamie…and to husbands everywhere. I just wanted to pass it along to let you know They Are Fighting Back:

“Jamie warning: Do not fall for the ‘kids ruin sex life’ line. Let the serf show you the results of accepting this line of thinking. When the kids are young, you will hear ‘I’m too tired from taking care of the kids’; at preteen age it will be ‘I’m too tired due to keeping up with all the kid’s activities’; teens will cause ‘How can you be thinking about that? Aren’t you concerned for your kids?’ or ‘We can’t, the kids are still awake.’ By the time you ship the last one off to college, the first has graduated and moved back home or you’re now too old to be interested.

“I assure you the intimate relationships are still possible when kids arrive in the home. All you need is romance, creativity and most of all a pile of money. When kids arrive, intimate relationships are no longer ‘free’. You will need to pay babysitters, bribe parents, court your spouse with special meals and new clothes, pay for motel rooms and three day vacations (without kids). Three days is the minimum vacation length, when the kids are young, since it takes two days for your spouse to detoxify from being a mom and the last day she will act like a wife. This is also about the maximum time your parents will agree to keeping your kids. The vacation time must be increased to five to seven days when the kids are teens. As you can see, kids do not ruin your sex life, they make you have to pay for it.”

To Serf ‘Rett, Jamie and husbands everywhere: “They make you have to pay for it?” There is a word for that: prostitution.

P.S. I don’t come cheap…. :-)

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