The Pumpkin Man: Back in Business

I haven’t posted many one-liners from The Pumpkin Man, primarily because we’ve been so entrenched in work that we haven’t had much time to play. (Here’s a recent example).

Friday night was our exception. It was a glorious evening with idyllic temperatures so we decided to ride down to the neighborhood playground and skate park. Because we live perched atop a big hill, the ride back up usually takes a while for the kids. There is a bench at the half-way point that is where we rest. This time as we settled back enjoying the view, I commented,

“This is what I want after I die, Children. A bench inscribed with my name overlooking a lovely place that people can enjoy.”

“I’ll tell you what,” Jamie offered. “How about I just spray-paint your name on this one.”

I hereby vow to haunt him beyond the grave.

When we were at the playground, the kids tore around with some neighborhood boys. One of them is graduating from kindergarten and is a full head taller than Bode. While Hadley inherited the Johnson genes (tall and slender), poor Bode takes after my side of the family (all runts of the litter.)

“Look at how much taller that kid is than Bode,” I observed.

There was a long pause before The Lord of the Gourds finally delivered the ultimate blow:

“If you were a pumpkin, I would not grow your seed.”

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