Toasts of the Season

On Starting Them Young with Their Christmas V-O-C-A-B-U-L-A-R-Y

A friend dropped off a plate of Christmas treats just as we were on the way out the door to do the same for someone else. I looked at their glorious selection and grabbed some to add to our plate.

“What are you doing, Mommy?”

“This is called regifting. Can you say R-E-G-I-F-T-I-N-G, Hadley?”


On Christmas Mailings

I always look forward to our annual flood of Christmas newsletters and cards. And every year, I gain immeasurable pleasure from reading them. And laughing at them.

Last year, I received a newsletter from my friend Angie (who, like me, married a bit later in life). She gloated over their childless state and attested “so the peace and quiet will just have to continue.”

This year? Her retribution was twins. [Insert evil cackle here.]

I can always count on my Great Uncle Peter for an entertaining letter. I have never met the crotchety old bachelor. But it must say something about me because I delight in our correspondence.

After ranting about my own newsletter, marveling how Jamie and I like climbing around our “rockpiles” (which evidently means “mountains” in crotchety man speak), he divulged the thousands of dollars he has given to his nephews – one who is in medical school and the other a farmer. He could have taken the highroad about his generosity but instead attested he only did this because “giving all my money away will deprive the Canadian government of taxes when I leave this earth.” What a giver.

But my favorite part of his letter was the ending:

“This pretty well covers everything. Each day I feed my winter
friends who are too stupid to go south for the winter but hang around the bird feeder. I also kill off any squirrels who try to find holes to get up into the attic. So far I killed four last year and this year, I killed one. One got away from the trap but left his claws. He will have difficulty in climbing trees.

Best wishes for a nice holiday.”

Also known in crochety man speak as Bah Humbug. :-)

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