Why Jamie’s English Professors Would be Proud

Jamie and I had a great weekend! We figured The End (a.k.a. Junior) is drawing near so we’d better get out and enjoy some alone-time now. Friday night, we hit a church BBQ and Saturday night, we saw the Da Vinci code. We read the book a couple of years ago and have been eager to see the big-screen version. I had only one reservation: sitting through a 2 1/2 hour movie without any potty breaks.

Miraculously, I did just fine. Until the last 15 minutes. The most climactic of the movie. It was reminiscent of when we saw Lord of the Rings: Return of the King a few years ago. Jamie had downed a 32-ounce drink and by the end of it, was ready to explode. After about the fifth ending as they were weepily saying their farewells prior to sailing away, a desperate Jamie seethed “JUST GET ON THE DAMN BOAT!!!!” He was touched in his own way, I’m sure.

My experience wasn’t too different. Just add a baby bouncing on your bladder. And a few “shock” sequences where they jump out at you, thereby testing any bladder control you may (or MAY NOT) have. By the end of the movie, I leaned over to Jamie and simply muttered “JUST GET ON THE DAMN BOAT!” He busted out laughing and quickly ushered me to the potty. Point taken.

Over dinner, we discussed plot twists and changes in the big-screen version. I had forgotten many of the key points in the book, such as who The Teacher was, an integral element that added to the suspense. Jamie, on the other hand, remembered.

“Knowing everything totally took away from the movie,” he complained.
“That’s too bad. You need to just have a crummy memory like me.”
“Naw, I’m just never going to open a book again.”

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