Depression Sucks

July 31, 2008 By

Depression hurts.

At least that is what those ad campaigns for Cymbalta attest. In my experience, depression downright sucks.

I am fortunate I have never suffered from it. But people dear to me do and I am riding this roller-coaster to the greatest of lows with them. I feel helpless, I feel frustrated they cannot see their worth and I feel angry that so many people do not empathize with the desperation they feel.

And I want nothing more than to lift the fog that envelopes them to bring light back into their lives.

Why are so many moms in particular on anti-depressants? Is our job so overwhelming? Do we not have the resources to cope? Are we ashamed to admit we fall short? Do we give so much to our families that we do not have anything left for ourselves?

I don’t have the answers but my heart aches every time I talk to my dear friends who are struggling to find them.

At BlogHer, I met a pretty incredible woman whose spunk put me to shame. She has an incredible story to share of how, in the depths of depression, she tried to end her own life when she was seven months pregnant. She gave me permission to repost her story on Mile High Mamas today–a story that has haunted me since I read it.

Please go read. Comment. Share. And even if you are one of the fortunate souls who still has light in your life, please be empathetic and reach a hand out to those who are in darkness.

Read on

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Uncategorized

Good news, bad news and reason #2,434 why you don’t want me as your neighbor

July 29, 2008 By

“Amber, I have some good news and some bad news.”

“Oh no. What?”

“The good news is that annoying mouse is gone from our backyard.”

“Good? That’s GREAT? What’s the bad news?”

“A snake ate it.”

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[Setting: A certain someone calls Hunky Hubby at work singing "Do you love me?" from Fiddler on the Roof.]

“What did you do, Amber?”

“I am offended you would assume the worst.”

“I know you too well.”

“If you must know, I have some good and bad news.”

“WHAT?”

“I was mowing the lawn for you and accidentally destroyed the sprinkler head. You know, the one on the small plot near the mailbox.”

“AMBER, THAT IS THE NEIGHBOR’S SPRINKLER HEAD!”

“Oh? Well, that must be the good news, then!”

==============================================

Just $1

Want to help bring someone some great news? My cute roommate Jill from BlogHer is fundraising for her marathon in November. She has committed to raising $3,500 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and is asking for folks to donate just $1 (anonymously even). It’s kind of an experiment to see how quickly the kindness of strangers in the digital world can help raise the money. For more information, go here: http://jillwillrun.com/just-1/

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Uncategorized

How a lemon car can teach you that your marital relations need some spice

July 28, 2008 By

We bought a new car last week.

Before you send your congratulations, know that this was like those “Oops!” pregnancies and our purchase was unplanned. I am not quite sure how it happened; I wasn’t even ovulating at the time.

From the moment of conception purchase a few years ago, we have had problems with my husband Jamie’s Jetta. But the past month has been a non-stop stream of breakdowns. The car, not me. Mostly.

We had planned to trade it in next year but we were stressed about all the nickles, dimes and dollars we were pouring into its repairs. The worst part of all is the mechanic could not ascertain the problem.

And so we had a tough decision: sustenance for the children or a new car.

Please send food.

I have never made a huge decision so quickly. Well, with the exception of buying the first wedding dress I tried on and oh, can you please throw in that cute veil ASAP because I am late for my volleyball game? Or the fact that I was married within six months of meeting Jamie.

He gives me a hard time about the deluge of children’s items that flood my SUV but nothing could have prepared me for what we discovered when we cleaned out his car.

One could expect some fast-food wrappers.

Several discarded Google maps.

Or maybe a rotting food item…or twelve.

But what Jamie unearthed in the catacombs of his trunk rocked me to my core: an illustrated book entitled The Joy of Sensual Massage.

After drowning in a stupor of silence, I finally sputtered,

“Who gave you this this this this this PORNOGRAPHY?”

“You did. When we got married.”

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, Marriage

Busted at BlogHer ’08–Part II

July 24, 2008 By

Hands down, the best thing about BlogHer ’08 was my roommates. Anyone who can survive me for an entire weekend should receive a medal. And as for my family? A life-time achievement award.

I had a grand time with each gal and these are a few of my favorite memories:

Jill of Glossyveneer is super petite and sweet. She just started running last year and decided to do a marathon. Because isn’t that what every first-time runner aspires to do? Jill was in charge of setting the alarm and just to illustrate how nice she is, she said this after our first night together:

“I have been turning over every 15 minutes all morning watching the clock
so I can make sure to grab the alarm when it goes off. I didn’t want it to
wake everyone!”

Ummm, call me crazy but isn’t that the point of an alarm clock? Rest assured, they were privy to my brand of wake-up calls: steam rolling.

====================================================

Speaking of sleeping, Michelle of Scribbit was my bed buddy and evidently, things got cozy with this tall and refined beauty in our full-sized bed one evening.

Amber: “I just want to commend everyone for being such quiet sleepers last night!”

Michelle: “Well, except for when you snuggled up to me and stroked my hair with your arm over my chest.”

Jamie is still lamenting why I don’t ever do this to him.

Evidently I have a thing for blondes.

=================================================

This was Loralee of Loralee’s Looney Tunes’ first year at BlogHer but she has been stalking visiting many of the popular blogs for a year now so she was the one doing the introductions.

Well, with the exception of our final morning when we sat down at a table with publicists from GCI Group in New York. As we were going around the table introducing ourselves, the conversation went roughly like this:

“Hi, I’m Amber. I blog about my life at Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck and am also the editor of The Denver Post’s Mile High Mamas blah blah blah.”

“Hi, I’m Michelle and I blog at the popular blog Scribbit. I run my own advertising and am looking different ways to expand my business opportunities blah blah blah.”

“Hi, I’m Jill and I have been blogging at Glossyveneer since way back in 1991 and am training to run a marathon while raising money for the Leukemia and Olymphoma Society blah blah blah.”

“Hi, I’m Loralee and I blog at Loralee’s Looney Tunes about my Ta-Tas.”

How can a person compete with that? They can’t, which is why the male publicists at our table never gave the rest of us a second glance and why Loralee was a show-stopper everywhere she went!

===================================================

Not to dwell on all my air-travel traumas but Hadley had a fascinating insight about it all the other night.

For those who need a refresher: Flew to Canada with children. Airline lost Bode’s reservation. We were stuck on the runway for three hours due to a storm. Flying back to Colorado, the flight was canceled due to bird in windshield. Huge nightmare ensued with rebooking. Flew to San Francisco the next day. First flight smooth. Layover from Orange County canceled. Shuttled down to LAX. Caught another flight several hours later. Flying back to Colorado, not enough room for the plane so it was rescheduled to International Terminal. Everyone on the flight bused to new gate. Huge delays. Then the mechanical problems began.

To sum it up, I won’t be flying anytime soon. But my children do every night. After our bedtime routine, we “airplane” the kids to bed. When Hadley came in for her landing a few nights ago, she asked:

“Daddy?”

“Yes Hadley.”

“Did my flight just get canceled?”

===================================================

I have included a list of some of the great people I met at BlogHer. At least those whose business cards miraculously survived the trip home.

Alex Year Two ; Attack of the Redneck Mommy; Believer in Balance ; Crazy Says What ; Crunchy Carpets; The Dana Files; Delicious Baby; Geek Mommy; goGUgo; goodyblog; Indulge Laugh Create; It’s My Life; Mommy Bits; Mommy Needs a Cocktail; Mommy Poppins; Mom Without a Map; Send Chocolate; See Jane Fly; Shannon Renee Mouton; Shazia Mistry; Sizzle Says; Sparkplugging; Table4Five; The Modern Woman’s Divorce Guide; Uptake.com; VDog & Little Man; Velveteen Mind; Watch Me! No Watch Me!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor Tagged With:

Blasting at BlogHer ’08–Part I

July 22, 2008 By

BlogHer was a blast. I will not do a long, drawn-out synopsis because frankly, most of you don’t care that I bought bacon mints in Chinatown and then made unsuspecting BlogHers sample them while I snapped pictures of their reaction.

Or do you?

(Victims Roommates Michelle from Scribbit and Jill from Glossyveneer; my other victim roommate Loralee has some great shots on her blog, too.)

My experience was completely different from last year, mainly because I went with more reasonable expectations and I did not try to conquer the world by befriending everyone and getting caught up in the junior high cliques. I met some fantastic gals, made some quality networking contacts, saw San Francisco and played. A lot.

While I didn’t get much out of the sessions (except for the travel writing meet-up), the overall conference experience was great. Some highlights:

    • I met The Grover. Sesame Street was at BlogHer and I taped a 1-minute segment with the furry monster, wishing Bode a happy birthday. We have already watched it about 50 times and I am sure he will treasure the DVD forever. Or it will serve as a reminder of how mommy tried to suck up for missing his birthday in the first place.

    • Exploring Chinatown, followed by dinner with Michelle and Jill at B44, an ultra-cool restaurant tucked away in a quaint alley called Beldon Place. After surveying the menu I queried “What is oxtail? Some kind of fish?” only to have Michelle reply: “I believe it is an ox’s tail.” Who knew?

    • Skipping out Saturday afternoon and riding the trolley down to Pier 39 with fellow Canuck Kerry. I then skipped out of the closing reception at Macy’s and had a heart-to-heart with Jill at Lori’s Diner. Evidently I have a propensity for skipping. At least that’s what my high school teachers wrote on my report card.

    In my next edition of BlogHer ’08: my sexual orientation is put into question and a round-up of all the fantastic gals that I met.


    P.S. And yes, I am straddling a dragon but that has nothing to do with the aforementioned “orientation in question.”

    © Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
    Filed Under: Humor, travel Tagged With:

    Chaos Ensues as Johnson and Children Are Grounded in Canada an Extra Day

    July 21, 2008 By
    **PRESS RELEASE**

    (Calgary, AB Canada, July 21, 2008) — Amber Johnson made a failed attempt to fly solo with her two children back to Colorado last week and spent an extra day recovering at her parent’s home in Calgary.

    “I thought the flight to Calgary was bad enough,” Johnson grimaced. “I mean, it was such a headache when they lost Bode’s reservation and we then got stuck in the plane on the runway for hours on end. I thought it could not get worse.”

    Sadly for this mother of two, it did. Johnson showed up at the Calgary airport with Hadley (age 4) and Bode (age 2). All went smoothly with check-in and security, after which time Johnson set the children loose to play in the terminal’s play area.

    What happened next will go down in the record books as the worst luck ever experienced at an airport within a week. “It was boarding time and we leisurely made our way back to our gate,” Johnson said. “That is when they told me a bird hit the windshield of our plane, causing it to divert and land in another city. Our flight was canceled indefinitely.”

    Johnson says instead of rebooking their flight, Canadian law required them to go back through Canadian customs, retrieve all their luggage, drag it across the airport, battle all the other passengers trying to find another flight at United’s check-in and then go through the entire process of U.S. Customs and security again. All this with the #%&#* Chariot stroller in tow.

    Johnson did not make it past check-in. “All the flights out were booked that day,” Johnson blubbered. “We managed to get a flight the next morning at the crack of dawn which, in some weird twist of fate, my parents were on as well because they were flying through Denver to visit my brother in New Jersey. At least I had a support system the second time around.”

    When asked if she would ever fly solo again with the children, Johnson turned pale, exhaled deeply and replied, “No comment.”

    Oh, and if you are ever tempted to proclaim, “It’s a bird! It’s a plane!” in Johnson’s presence?

    Please don’t.

    ###

    © Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
    Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Favorite Posts, Humor, travel

    Happy 2nd Birthday to My Bublicious Baby!

    July 17, 2008 By

    Dearest Bode,

    Your father will never let me forget that I will be at BlogHer on your second birthday, which is why I am posting this one day early. I hope you will not hold this over my head like he has. After all, it’s not like you won’t have many, many others, right?

    Birthdays, that is. Not letdowns from Mommy.

    Over this past year, you have become more independent while maintaining your sweetness. You are my intrepid hiking buddy and love being in the backpack. In fact, one day you were such a zealot that you tried to crawl into it by yourself. At least that’s what I ascertained when I found you and the backpack face-first on the cement. You still climbed back in without hesitation and I was so proud that you got back on that horse. Not that I am referring to myself as such. I prefer pack mule.

    I love to talk and sing to you during our hikes because you cannot escape are a captive audience. When you were about 19 months old, I was singing the alphabet song from your sister’s Leap Frog video and you identified and sounded out every single letter. I was shocked because you were barely talking more than a grunt but this delighted me because evidently plopping you in front of the TV makes me a good mother.

    You are surely the first boy in the history of mankind to be obsessed with balls, trucks and “Choo Choos.” You have “Sissy” to thank for the Thomas the Trainset you enjoy so much. When your sister was 2 years old, she drew blood at Toys R Us over her refusal to leave Thomas behind. It got so bad, dear Bode, that she had to be personally escorted out of the store by the manager. She received the train track for Christmas and–like the pioneers of old–you should revere your sister’s great sacrifices to carve the path track before you.

    We recently took you camping for the first time and you gloried in a new favorite: dirt. My most treasured moment of that trip was seeing you blissfully snuggled up in your sleeping bag that night. Daddy let you play with the flashlight until you fell asleep and you took great delight in watching the light and shadows dance off the side of the tent. It is one of my fondest memories of you. Not so fond was your sick father who was in and out of the tent all night praying to the [non]porcelain gods of the campground’s outhouse.

    With all this talk of boy stuff, your future conquests…err…girlfriends need not be worried because you also have a softer side. In addition to being a wonderful snuggler, you often request the “City” song whenever we get into the car. For those uncultured souls, you are referring to “Emerald City” from Wicked, a soundtrack you absolutely adore. I get a big kick out of it though I sometimes worry your love for show tunes will someday get you beat up on the playground. Your father assures me your throttlings will have more to do with outfits such as this:


    You are my treasured boy, affectionate sweetheart and loved by everyone around you.

    Happy birthday and thanks for always keeping up with this Crazy Clan of ours. We’ll never leave you behind….

    XOXOXOXO
    Mama

    © Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
    Filed Under: Uncategorized

    When a Colorado Mommy Blogger Does Canada

    July 15, 2008 By

    We are flying back to Colorado today. As always, I love coming home to the Motherland and Calgary is my favorite city in the world. The temperatures have been gloriously mild and I could spend my entire summer here if it did not mean being apart from Jamie for so long. When I made this suggestion, he jokingly suggested we could arrange conjugal visits in Wyoming.

    Because really, what else is there to do in Wyoming?

    This trip has been cram-packed with walks along my beloved Bow River Pathway with my dad, illegally cruising the neighborhood in my parent’s golf cart, marathon makeovers with Grandma B., lazy summer nights at My Favorite Ice Cream Shoppe, a day trip to Elbow Falls with Aunt Sue and of course, the Calgary Stampede! Some other highlights include:

    Sleeping in! My kids are both early risers and I generally can’t sleep past 5:30 a.m. But this trip, the kids slept until at least 8 a.m., which is a huuuge coup. The secret? My parent’s gloriously dark and cold basement, both of which are clear reflections on my personality.

    My parent’s backyard. This has evolved into a gloriously verdant paradise of overhanging trees with 10 patio tables and swings interspersed in romantic nooks around the yard and a huge deck to kick back and enjoy it all.

    Growing up, our huge backyard was the Mecca for every kid in the area with a half-pipe, fort, trampoline, play set and more. We were also at constant war with our neighbors who actually pulled a gun on some of my brother’s friends when we were on vacation. Of course, maybe that Swastika my brother’s friends anonymously burned on our neighbor’s lawn may have had something to do with it.

    Hadley getting her ears pierced. Or at least making the attempt. During our family tradition of going out for Chinese food, my sister-in-law Jane decided it was in Hadley’s best interest to get her ears pierced. I was rather indifferent about it and Hadley was game…until she saw The Devil’s Gun that was aimed at her virgin lobe. I’ll spare you the details but an hour later, we emerged from that store with a traumatized mother and a hysterical kid who only got half an ear pierced. Possibly a new fashion statement?

    Peter’s Drive-In’s marshmallow shake. Sure, this very shake caused an outbreak of salmonella a few years ago but it’s not like I didn’t just survive that little ol’ poisoning a few weeks ago. And besides, lightening doesn’t strike in the same place twice.

    Err…right?

    © Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
    Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Humor

    The Real[ist] Family Travel Writer is Born

    July 14, 2008 By

    I have always loved to travel. The problem is, travel has not always loved me. I once journeyed to France for a wedding, only to get lost and miss the entire celebration.

    I built a career as a travel writer by writing a humor column about my mishaps. During a meeting with my editor, I made reference to one of my misfortunes on the trail and he professed, “You mean this stuff really happens? I thought you were making it up because there is no way all that could happen to one person!”

    Welcome to my life.

    When I had a family, there were understandably even more challenges. My recent solo trip home with my children confirmed it: I am the Real[ist] Family Travel Writer. While so many writers expound upon their tried and true tips for “The Perfect Family Vacation,” I keep it real. Family travel is about survival. The only two things that keep me sane are my sense of humor and a huge dose of denial. Maybe Prozac would help, too.

    And so as the Real[ist] Family Travel Writer, here are some insights I gleaned from my trip that I summed up as follows to my husband: “Hell is assuredly an easier commute than flying solo to Canada with two young children.”

    Case study #1

    I hate DIA (Denver International Airport). This trip had some new doozies: baggage problems with “easy” check-in that forced me to wait 20 minutes for an agent; an online reservation that never reserved my son Bode’s ticket as a lap child and resulted in even more delays; those many hours we were stuck in the plane on the runway because Denver’s drought chose to end during that three-hour window and the floodgates were opened.

    REAL[IST] TRAVEL WRITING TIP: BUILD AN ARK. IT WILL GET YOU WHERE YOU ARE GOING FASTER THAN DIA EVER WILL.

    Case study #2

    I took a big risk this trip and brought my double-wide Chariot jogging/biking stroller instead of my stream-lined Graco. Navigating The Beast was tough enough at the airport but I faced a whole new set of problems in Calgary. Do you know that adage “What comes up must come down?” Evidently, this does not ring true at Calgary’s C-Train station as my dad and I tried to board the train to go downtown to the Stampede. We scaled the huge ramp up to the ticket station, only to discover there was not a ramp going down to the platform. Huh?

    After carrying The Beast down two flights of stairs, it would not fit through the doors. I thought that was the end of it until we tried to board the train and we ran into the same problem. We kicked the kids out and tried to cram it in sideways. Nothing. We finally had to disassemble the #%&*# stroller completely and catch the next sardine-packed train where my poor dad had to stand crammed up against the wall to keep all the parts in place.

    The most ironic thing of all? The Chariot is made in Canada and it does not fit through their standard-sized door.

    REAL[IST] TRAVEL WRITING TIP: DO NOT TAKE DOUBLE-WIDE STROLLERS TO CALGARY BECAUSE EVIDENTLY PEOPLE ARE SKINNIER THERE AND ALL THEIR DOORS ARE ON A PERPETUAL DIET.

    So, why do it? As a recent New York Times headline put it, “Sure it’s frustrating and expensive, but travelers just have to travel.” The article went on to say that many people consider leisure travel to be essential, not discretionary.

    My “essentials” included seeing my children play with my parents in my childhood home, holding my Great Niece for the first time, cookouts under the stars, a daytrip to the Canadian Rockies, lazy afternoons at the lake and hanging out with a longtime friend on my parent’s deck under a canopy of lilac bushes and stars. And yes, even going for walks with that #%#& stroller along my beloved Fish Creek Park trail. These make up for all the ulcers.

    Mind you, my return flight to Colorado is tomorrow and next month my husband, children and I are braving the 13-hour journey to Yellowstone.

    Suddenly, that Prozac is sounding better and better….

    © Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
    Filed Under: Canada, Family travel, Humor, travel

    Inquiring Minds Want to Know: Did Amber Survive Her Flight?

    July 9, 2008 By

    My experience was best summarized by my opening statement during my telephone conversation with Jamie.

    “Hell is assuredly an easier commute than flying solo to Canada with two young children.”
    © Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
    Filed Under: Family travel, Humor, travel
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