A new dirty job for Mike Rowe and a disgusting pumpkin farewell

Whenever people see the Giant Pumpkin for the first time, they ask three questions:

“Is that thing real?”

“How many pumpkin pies does it make?”
Dumb question. Next.

“What do you do with it?”
It sits on our driveway until Halloween and rots.

It’s not a pretty answer but it’s the truth.

The Saturday after Halloween, the Great Pumpkin had its final heyday as it was asked to be the guest of honor at Bode’s school’s pumpkin splat. The pumpkins are too big for the firetruck’s crane to lift but this year, kids loved climbing inside of the 1,292-pounder.

A free-falling pumpkin. Picture taken from by a firefighter on top of the crane

The event was a lot of fun and Jamie’s efforts were rewarded when the PTA sent him home with two leftover pizzas and a box of Dunkin’ Donuts. #WillGrowPumpkinsForFood

The only problem was after having so many kids inside the pumpkin, the bottom grew really soft and started rotting quickly. No problem! We’d cut it up and dispose of it right away.

But remember Jamie’s injuries after jumping out of the pumpkin all night?

He was hurting for days. And then it rained and we didn’t cover the pumpkin in time so it was a big mess.

Enter: Friday night. It was now then or never.

I’ve done a lot of things no woman should ever have to do with a pumpkin and that night was no exception. Jamie usually cuts them up himself but Bode, Hadley and I were recruited to help cut it up and load it into a dumpster.

At first, it my dream come true! The Pumpkin Widow was finally the lead singer in SMASHING PUMPKINS and I let out my years of pent-up frustration!

And then my dream became a nightmare. Once we finally cracked both pumpkins open with our shovels, the big one was a disgusting. We fastidiously cut off chunk after chunk.

And the bottom was a big, wet, gloopy rotting mess. At one point, I carved my shovel into the base and was rewarded with a fresh spray of pumpkin rot all down the front of me.

Add that to the list of things a Pumpkin Widow should never have to do.


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