Amber | Life Elevated Mom

A poker face he has not

February 8, 2011 by Amber

Last week, Denver had a cold snap that rendered everyone wussy (spoken like a true Canadian). With a mere three inches of snow on the ground, school was canceled for two days. Then, we woke up to a half a foot of snow on Sunday so church was canceled as well.

Did I mention school and church were never, ever canceled in Canada?

Because let’s face it: if snow and cold were the standard for snow days, Canadians just wouldn’t go anywhere in the wintertime.

Between all those days off and a sick mama, we’ve been playing a lot of board and card games. I love that my kids are finally old enough to play and some of our especial favorite are Uno Attack, Trouble and Sorry.

At four years old, Bode is doing a fantastic job at learning. Most of the time. When he and I were playing Uno Attack yesterday, he started placing his cards on the holder and murmured,

“OK, dere’s some red and then two blues….”

“Bode, you’re not supposed to tell me what you have in your hand.”

“I’m not telling you, Mommy. I’m telling me.”

Filed Under: Bode, Humor

My [Not So] Funny Valentine

February 7, 2011 by Amber

It’s an oldie but a goody. Today at MileHighMamas.com, I’m talking about my least memorable Valentine’s Day ever.

Because sometimes cupid needs a lot of help.

Photo: Blogamole

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Denver’s Best Place to Skate Outdoors This Winter

February 4, 2011 by Amber

A couple of weekends ago, my family had one of our favorite winter adventures in Colorado: We skated Evergreen Lake.

Located just 20 minutes from Denver off I-70, this lake is surrounded by blue spruce, pines, evergreens and is about as close to an authentic Canadian skating experience as you can get in the Denver-area.

Side note: I was raised gliding along frozen lakes and rivers and learned very quickly that pretty much anywhere is skatable and that frozen nose hairs are a fashion statement.

A large portion of the 40-acre Evergreen Lake is Zambonied (a true Canadian verb) into a skating area with several smaller enclaves for hockey. The Evergreen Lakehouse is a stellar place to warm up to some hot chocolate or an affordable selection of food from the snack bar.

Six-year-old Haddie took skating lessons last year but it was 4-year-old Bode’s first time on skates. Several parents had constructed makeshift structures to help their beginners but I did it the old-fashioned way: I strained my back as I leaned over teaching him how to glide. And I let him fall. A lot.

By the end, he was starting to get it and I was ecstatic I am installing one of my childhood passions into my American-Canadian half-breeds.

And enjoying a dose of the best Colorado has to offer along the way.

Tip: Be sure to call Evergreen Lake’s hotline (720) 880-1391 the morning of your visit for ice conditions. If you are planning a weekend visit, the earlier you go the better. The lake gets busier as the day goes on. Plus, if it’s warm the ice will get soft and slushy.

Prices: Tot (3 years and under): free; Youth (4 – 18) : $4.75; Adult (19 – 59): $5.00. Skate rental is $6.

Eats: Run (don’t walk) to Country Road Cafe. Located in Kittredge (just 2 miles from Evergreen), this unassuming log cabin is home to the best breakfast in Colorado (and often has a long wait on the weekends to prove it). With over 100 items on their menu, you can’t go wrong with their nine different kinds of Eggs Benedict or their famous smashed mashes. My husband has never deviated from their gargantuan breakfast burrito and my kids adore the fluffy over-sized stuffed pancakes. This time, I was tempted by their daily specials: an omelet with steak, mushroom, blue cheese, truffle Hollandaise and crispy onions. But the French toast stuffed with lemon-poppy cheesecake topped with almonds was pretty tempting, too.

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, Humor, outdoors, travel

How Strep (and Being LOST) Helped Me Save Mankind

February 1, 2011 by Amber

The end is near.

At least the light at the end of my of my strep-induced vow of silence, not the other “end” (though I felt close a few times last weekend).

I’ve had strep many times but nothing like this latest bout, which I deemed STREPZILLA. I was rendered unable to speak or eat due to the agonizing pain.

On the plus side, I dropped five pounds.

I stayed home from church on Sunday and went to the Urgent Care where they loaded me up with antibiotics and sub-par painkillers. I say sub-par because Jamie doped me up with Percocet the night prior and that was the only thing that came close to depleting the pain.

It also gave me a killer buzz that kept me up all night.

Jamie helped out a lot over the weekend but I knew he would be back to work as usual on Monday (Bode’s day off). The little dude has been a great sport coping with his deadbeat mother but I asked my friend Eva to watch him so he could have some social interaction with people who don’t use perturbing charades to communicate.

The toughest part about this latest illness has been lack of sleep. I was up most of my first night due to pain. The second night, because of the Aforementioned Buzz. By the third night, I was loopy and desperately needed to sleep. But I had a challenge even greater than pain and buzzes: phlegm.

If you’ve never had strep, there is a lot of accompanying phlegm due to the infection. This is where strep is the root of all evil: your throat is so sore you can’t swallow so I was reduced to carrying around a “spit glass” with me at all times.

It’s no wonder everyone treated me like a leper except for Fat Kitty who has an appreciation for spit and bathes himself daily in it.

To stay entertained on Sunday evening, we watched a few episodes from the first season of LOST. If you’re not familiar with the show, Flight 815 crashed on an island and the survivors have many unexplainable and mysterious encounters. In the second season one of the characters (Desmond) spends three years inside of a Hatch inputting numbers into a computer every 108 minutes to prevent the world from being destroyed.

That night as I went to bed, I was almost delirious from lack of sleep. Every time I’d start to nod off, phlegm would well up in my mouth and I needed to spit it out. In my frenzied state, my dreams transcended reality. I became Desmond but instead of inputting numbers, I had the imperative responsibility of spitting every 15 minutes or the entire earth would be subjected to a catastrophic electro-magnetic explosion.

You heard it here people: My phlegm is single-handedly responsible for saving the world.

You’re welcome.

This is not the first time I have dreamed about LOST. Check out my post last April when Hurley almost suffocated me to death.

Filed Under: Health, Humor

A (Pink) Bone to Pick with the Susan G. Komen Foundation

January 31, 2011 by Amber

I was taken aback when I read that the Susan G. Komen for the Cure had was canceling their three-day walk for breast cancer in Colorado because, according to their PR agency, “it just didn’t meet financial goals.”

Nevermind the thousands of dollars Denverites have raised in what has became one of our city’s most highly-attended and beloved charity events.

Well, the fundraising giant’s public relations staff will be working overtime over their latest controversy: They are threatening legal actions around any other event and charities that use any variation of “for the cure” in their name.

Isn’t it just swell to think of donor’s funds going to such a “worthwhile” cause?

According to READ ON AT MILEHIGHMAMAS.COM

Filed Under: issues

My “Shining” Moment

January 29, 2011 by Amber

It’s been quite a week. Along with our fiscal life falling apart, I’ve been working non-stop and all work and no play makes Amber a dull, dull girl.

Or one who looks like Jack Nicholson in The Shining.

And talks in third person.

My reward for myself was to go mountain biking on Friday morning (it was a record-setting 68 degrees).

Thursday was the kids’ final day of swim lessons. Predictably, Fish Hadley moved up to the next level (Marlins) and Bode flunked Minnows. Again.

He says it’s totally unreasonable for him to get his face wet.

Haddie’s lesson is at 3:30 p.m. and Bode’s is at 6 p.m. That’s quite the gap so most days we’d rush home, eat dinner and go back for Bode’s lesson. But since it was the last day of class, I told the kiddos we could pack a picnic lunch and play at the pool for a couple of hours.

If you know how much I hate the pool/water, you would know what a sacrifice this was.

But here’s the deal: I started to feel sick and light-headed which I assumed was from the chlorine and muggy air. It could have also been attributed to the fact someone pooped in the splash pool and the kids had to sit out for an hour. What are the odds this would happen the one day we decide to play?

Don’t answer that.

When I woke up Friday, I was full-blown sick with one of the worst sore throats I’ve ever had. I spent the day (you know–the one I was supposed to frolic and play) holed up in bed popping painkillers and spitting because it was too painful to swallow.

You’re welcome for that visual.

Jamie is convinced it’s Strep. I’m convinced it’s death.

Either way, no one wins.

Filed Under: Family

“Crap” My Great Uncle Says

January 26, 2011 by Amber

I’m not sure how I started writing him. Dear Great Uncle Peter, that is. My dad, a faithful letter-writer for years, sometimes mentioned him and I was always curious about the enigmatic Great Uncle Peter. Never married. Lives in Manitoba’s frozen tundra. Traveled every country in Europe, North Africa, Egypt and Israel (to name a few).

We became pen pals shortly after Jamie and I got married but once my kiddos arrived, I admit I was horrible with keeping in touch. That pretty much sums up my correspondence with anyone who is not online: NIL.

But over the years, I’ve often thought about Great Uncle Peter and missed his letters. Have you heard of the infamous Twitter feed and now-TV show S#*! My Dad Says on CBS? Welp, that about sums up delightfully crotchety 90-year-old Great Uncle Peter and so I dropped him a Christmas card/letter about my family’s happenings and tropical travels.

I just received a response back and he does not disappoint:

Nice to hear that you are still active and enjoying life. I don’t really understand what you can really say about holiday beaches. To me they are all the same–sand, water, mosquitoes and skimpy bathing suits. In some cases even murder is included.

With an intro like that, Great Uncle Peter and I are back “on” as pen pals.

=======

After writing this post, my mind wandered back to my dad’s brother Lawrence’s memorable Christmas letter five years ago wherein he talked about errr…”crap,” rape and pillage…..

Thus sums up my father’s colorful side of the family.

Filed Under: Family, Humor

When it rains, it pours

January 25, 2011 by Amber

Just in case I was keeping track, this is what 2011 would amount to:

A BBQ that is busted due to a wind storm that flipped it over. You know. That apparatus we use to cook several times a week. Or that would be used.

A car that has been taken to the shop twice

A knee surgery next month, which will amount to $thousands$ in out-of-pocket expenses.
Owing a big, daunting, ugly wad of cash for our taxes.

Jamie says bad things come in threes. But what about fours, fives, sixes and sevens? May I remind you that last year at this exact time, I was gleefully getting ready to cover the 2010 Vancouver Olympic Games for Microsoft Office?

My, what a difference a year makes.

As for our latest:

We came home Sunday night from a glorious trip to Crested Butte (my second favorite on earth after my beloved Waterton). I was flying high and my only plans were to unpack, chill and maybe even catch up on some shows on my DVR.

What I ended up doing: Crisis management.

I figured out something was wrong when I was cooking dinner. I was making baked potato skins and had grabbed some bacon from the freezer. But here’s the (not-so) funny thing: it was no longer frozen. Then, much to my horror I realized the freezer was no longer working and everything was dethawed.

Did I mention we had hundreds of dollars of meat/food in there?

We were gone for three days and had no idea when The Great Meltdown occurred. Jamie and I spent the evening dumping most everything and transferring what little we could salvage to the dilapidated fridge in our garage we reserve for soda.

The damage? $750 for a new compressor. We’re not sure if it was due to the fact that since we’ve lived in our house, we have never once cleaned the coils.

In my defense, I didn’t even know the coils underneath the fridge needed to be cleaned every few months.

The serviceman seemed to think the problem is that the compressor is under warranty for five years and it’s been seven since we’ve had our Whirlpool fridge and it had simply run its course.

Either way, it sucks.

So, we’ve been scrounging around trying to figure out if we repair it, if we can get a cheaper quote, or if we just spring for a new fridge (ours is valued around $1,200). Through it all, I somehow managed to hold it together even when Jamie and I were arm-deep in defrosted chicken juice.

“Well, look on the bright side, Jamie. There is no one in this world I’d rather be doing this with.”

He looked at me, stone-faced.

“I retract that statement,” I continued. “If I had a maid, I’d make her do it.”

I want 2010 back.

Filed Under: Jamie

Why I Am ABC Network’s “Angel of Death”

January 24, 2011 by Amber

I get attached to a few primetime television shows, particularly during the dark winter months. I was in mourning when LOST ended its epic run and I have berated the networks for cutting shows mid-season without any regard (or explanation) for their devoted audience.

I get that it’s all about ratings and money. For this reason when a new show debuts, I’m a careful devotee so as to protect my heart from cancellation. Some shows I am currently invested in are The Good Wife, Parenthood, Modern Family and Brothers and Sisters.

So I was a little bit more than displeased to read this article detailing ABC’s early renewals for next year. Castle and Cougar Town were the two shows that lead the pack while my beloved Brothers and Sisters is potentially on the chopping block.

I don’t know if you watch Cougar Town–or would admit to doing so–but it is the least funny comedy on television (which, if you’re supposed to be making people laugh, is a bit of a problem). Without giving it much thought, I turned to Twitter to voice my frustration:

Scratching my head how ABC would renew a crap show like #CougarTown yet Brothers & Sisters is on the chopping block?

I’m not proud of using a word like “crap” in a public forum but in my defense, my tweet was limited to 140 characters and I could not fit in “obnoxious” or “laborious.”

A few minutes later, I received a reply from a man named Kevin Biegel:

you are the devil who haunts my dreams

Now, normally I discount anyone who does not use proper capitalization or punctuation and receiving a rebuttal like this would offend some people. But I got a kick out of it and felt intrigued. Could it be? Someone finally gets me?

I Googled Kevin and (brace yourselves for this): He is the producer of Cougar Town. And he found it in his heart to call me–’lil ol’ me–a She-Devil.

Any normal person would have let it drop but I could not pass up a captive Twitter audience with Hollywood elite. Who knows–he might even cast me in his next sub-par comedy about an Arvada mom who vents her network frustrations to thousands of faceless people on Twitter.

My response to Kevin?

I’ve heard the show’s producer is very talented. P.S. I prefer to be called “Angel of Death.”

I expect ABC to come knocking on my door any minute now.

ORIGINALLY POSTED AT MILEHIGHMAMAS.COM

Filed Under: Favorite Posts, Humor

Kids Being Kids at Park City’s Gorgoza (Tubing) Park

January 20, 2011 by Amber

When I was single in my late-20s, my friend Garritt and I went tubing at Gorgoza Park in Park City. As we shot down the mountain at unconscionable speeds, we giggled like a couple of school girls.

However at one point, we were mortified when we realized we were the only ones our age without children.

Fast-forward 10 years and my family of four went tubing at Gorgoza Park for the first time together…and had an amazing time. I finally felt like I had full license to be a kid, with my kids.

I grew up tubing on a steep gully in Canada but since moving to Colorado, our sledding efforts have been sub-par at best because the snow in our area is frequently too powdery, which prevents us from going more than 0.0005 mile/hour and it’s not easy to pull two small children up a steep hill!

Enter: Gorgoza Park’s lift-serviced, impeccably groomed and fast runs.

It had been a bluebird day, which transpired into a starry night. We connected with one of my best college friends Lori, and her family of five, at the base and later went back to our condo for pizza.

Both of my children met the 42-inch minimum height requirement to tube the upper part of the hill but I figured 4-year-old Bode would want to play it safe and stay lower.

I was wrong.

After a couple of runs on his small tube, he announced he wanted to go higher. Even his 6-year-old sister (whom I have dubbed “Adventure Girl”) was wary. We swapped their small tubes for large ones and made the pilgrimage to the top. As we gazed down the four steep tracks, Bode squealed, “I’m weady!”

With that, he linked up to my husband’s tube and tore down the mountain. It was one of those tender moments as a mother when I witnessed my little guy growing up.

Then I proceeded to link up to my daughter’s tube and scream like a baby the enter way down.

Our starlit night was replete with ecstatic faces, new horizons, dear friends, hot chocolate in the warm-up yurt and lasting memories. It is what Dirty Dancing’s song, “I had the time of my life” is all about.

But with good, clean tubing.

Gorgoza Park adult prices: $8 (1 ride), $22 (2 hours), $33 (4 hours). Individuals under 42”: $4 (1 ride, $12 (2 hours), $18 (4 hours). Persons less than 42″ (must be 3 years old) are limited to 390′ conveyor and lower lanes.

Address: 3863 Kilby Rd in Park City, 435.658.264.

Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Humor, travel, Utah