Colorado Mountain Mom’s Weekend at Play!

I had unfinished business.

Two years ago, I stayed in Frisco with the children and we biked along gorgeous Dillon Reservoir. I had intended to do the 20 miles round-trip to Keystone but made it as far as the Dillon farmer’s market in what was one of my favorite days ever with the kids.

The next day, we biked 24 painful miles to Breckenridge.

That was one of the not-so-favorite days.

Last weekend, my neighbor Monica invited a bunch of women from our neighborhood to celebrate our friend Jenn’s 40th birthday overnight at her mountain home. Silverthorne is adjacent to Dillon so I knew I had to finally bike the rest of the way to Keystone.

Without the kids.

Because hauling 70 pounds in the bike trailer is highly overrated.

I dropped the children off at a playdate and drove an hour into the mountains. Now, something you should understand is I almost called the whole thing off. The weather forecast called for 50% chance of rain with high winds.

In the Amber “Murphy” Travel History, this would assuredly mean I would get struck by lightning and then blown into the lake.

But neither happened. In fact, I’d say it was even a perfect ride with ideal conditions and gorgeous views. I biked 7 miles along Dillion Lake to Keystone Lake, site of Haddie’s skating obsession last winter.

I strolled through Keystone Village, soaked up the views and sent this picture to my ice-cream-loving husband who was stuck at home working.


Because it sucked to be him.

That night, some of my besties gathered together at a Benihana’s-type Japanese restaurant in Dillon.

(Kristen, Monica, Eva, Bernie, Lisa, Jenn, Sheri, Me, Nancy)

The Bishop’s wife may-or-may-not have joked about ordering the “Magic Mushrooms.”

We later played Cranium (fully sober, though at times Said Sobriety was questionable) and chatted into the wee hours. The next morning, we hiked a few miles to Lily Pad Lake.

Or at least some of us did. Monica, Jenn and I raced up to the lake while poor Nancy broke her foot en route.

No pictures of poor Nancy.

Because it sucked even more to be her. 🙁

So, let’s hear it: have you had a girl’s weekend away lately? What would be your ideal trip?

Four Corners Region—Trailing the Ancients

Originally published in Sports Guide magazine, 1999. © Photo: Philip Greenspun.

The Four Corners region means different things to different people. To Terry Tempest Williams it is Navajoland, where every conversation, every sigh uttered by the “longtime-ago people” circulates around you. To Edward Abbey, the ancient canyon art of this region was the first world language that represented images ranging from the crude and simple to the elegant and sophisticated.

To me, it was a headache to sort through what the Four Corners meant to different people. OK, so my definition is a bit of a downer. But in my non-prolific defense it was overwhelming to determine which archaeological sites, modern communities and Indian lands to cover in an area that smacks of a primeval and intangible world.

My friend John and I turned to the Visitor’s Center in Monticello for the inside scoop on following in the footsteps of the Ancients. Little did I know those ancients would be by way of the local geriatric ward. A sweet grandma greeted me at the main desk. Haltingly, I asked her if she could help me find some backcountry routes in the region.

“Of course, sweetie,” she replied. “If I can’t help, then Herbert can.” OK, I didn’t exactly capture the name of the ancient, sun-worn man she pointed to at the end of the counter. But if any man looked like a Herbert, he did. It took mere seconds to confirm that they would not be good resources. They loaded me up with brochures and John and I headed to the BLM Ranger’s station a couple of blocks away for the real scoop.

We came away with concrete plans. We would start at the Edge of the Cedars Museum and State Park and cut over to Cedar Mesa and Grand Gulch. From there, we would hit Valley of the Gods, Monument Valley, and then Canyon de Chelly in Arizona. Our final pinnacle experience of the lopsided loop would be to stand on the Four Corners marker to symbolize the end of our own Trail of the Ancients.

Edge of the Cedars Museum and State Park
We headed south on U.S. 191 to the Edge of the Cedars Museum and State Park in Blanding. For $1, we were introduced to the largest collection of Anasazi (pre-historic Puebloan) pottery in the Four Corners region. Located on the site of an ancient ruin, the museum has a collection of archeological treasures from the Ancient Pueblo Indian, Navajo and Ute Indian cultures that includes pottery and a ceremonial kiva, home to the Anasazi between A.D. 825 to 1220.

A sun marker stood just beyond the ruin. The Anasazi used this solar sculpture to calendar when to plant and harvest crops, connecting them with solar, plant life and ceremonial cycles. John moved in for a closer look as I stood back to analyze the dance of shadow and light. I gave up after two minutes of intense scrutiny and resolved there was a very good reason why I live in the 21st century when all connections with time are made with my trusty calendar and digital watch.

My favorite part of the Edge of the Cedars was the Observation Tower. This circular room’s expansive windows traced many of the Four Corner’s ranges, starting with Sleeping Ute Mountain and extending to New Mexico’s famous Shiprock and Utah’s Grand Gulch Plateau. Sometimes called Cedar Mesa, this 1,000-square-mile recreation area includes many archeological sites and was next on our agenda. The Abajo Mountains rounded out our view in the semi-circular tower.

Grand Gulch Primitive Area
I was eager to explore the Grand Gulch Primitive Area, one of the premier backpacking areas in Southern Utah. A friend had raved about an unparalleled 22-mile backpacking trip from Kane Gulch to Bullet Canyon, which winds through ancient ruins. John and I stopped at the Kane Gulch Ranger Station to get the ‘411’and permits. If the building was any indication, we were in for a primitive experience—the station was in a condemned trailer transported from Hovenweep National Monument.

The gal on duty gave me a detailed play-by-play of Cedar Mesa, home to numerous rock art panels and prehistoric ruins. Ancestral Puebloans inhabited the canyons and mesa tops between 700 and 2,000 years ago, and many of their dwellings remain in tact and fragile. For this reason, permits are limited and required for all overnight and day trips.

She tipped me off on an area outside of the Gulch in Cedar Mesa: Mule Canyon. I was immediately attracted by her description of this 10-mile roundtrip hike. Two fairly easy hiking areas are found in the north and south forks of Mule Canyon, which cut through sheer sandstone walls and ponderosa pine. But the true appeal of this trail is that it contains the highest concentration of ruins found anywhere on the plateau—more than one ruin per mile. We were sold.

Mule Canyon
We arose to the predawn colors of the desert and watched as pink, magenta, silver and purple shafts of light enticed the sun over the horizon. We were on the trail by 8 a.m.

John portentously wore his new trekking hat that his friends allegedly bought in Nepal. He bore a strong resemblance to Paddington Bear but I decided I’d have more fun with exploiting the Nepalese claim and asked if this meant he was Sherpa for the day. He was not amused. But when I pointed to his CamelBak—“the Sherpa”—he resigned himself to his station of servitude.

As we hiked, the canyon deepened and eroded alcoves lined the cliffs. The majority of cultural sites were on the south-facing slopes among typical high desert vegetation. The north-facing slopes were verdant with Douglas fir and ponderosa pine that spilled down from the Abajo range.

We had hiked about 0.75 mile when Sherpa John suddenly stopped. “Do you think that could be something up there?” he breathlessly asked. I gazed at the sandstone wall shrouded by ponderosa pine. What could his stealth Sherpa instincts be telling him? But then I looked at the ground—a giant arrow had been traced in the sand, pointing to the wall. So much for instinct. His sighting did not amount to anything, but he pulled through about 1.2 miles up the canyon where he discovered the first of a string of Anasazi ruins.

We spent the rest of the hike perched on the sandstone walls exploring the various alcoves. We crawled into the ancient settlements and marveled at the fallen masonry of the dwellings. Shards of pottery, worn but still proof of the artistic refinement of the ancients, were strewn around the rooms and organized on rocks by other hikers. The desert sun had shifted by the time we made our way out of the canyon, the colors, textures and shadows of our surroundings changing with the angle and intensity of the sunlight. Mule Canyon had come to light—and life—before our eyes.

Monument Valley
We then followed U.S. 261 through Grand Gulch until we reached the Moki Dugway overlook where we gazed down upon the Valley of the Gods and Monument Valley’s compendium of silhouetted buttes. We descended three miles on the graded gravel road and then explored the 16-mile loop through the Valley of the Gods—often called a miniature Monument Valley. The rock/clay surface road was a roller-coaster ride through a sandstone museum that included Castle Butte, Rooster Butte, Battleship Rock and Setting Hen Butte.

And then it was onto Monument Valley—land of the American West, and backdrop of hundreds of western movies and magazine ads. Where a simple image, the silhouette of a monolith held sacred for the Navajos, is enough to make us dream of infinite possibilities and empty spaces. The Navajo Nation Council designated Monument Valley as the first tribally-owned-and-operated park on July 11, 1958. More than 140 habitation sites have been found on the 17.6 million acre Navajo Reservation that straddles the Utah-Arizona border.

I was initially disappointed with how tightly the Navajo Nation regulates the valley. There is no hiking allowed off the 17-mile road unless you have a guide. We passed on shelling out $30 for a 2-hour tour, bought a $2 brochure and set out to explore the valley on our own terms as best we could.

The first monoliths we encountered were the famous Mittens, which according to Navajo legend were once deities who lived upon Mother Earth in the beginning of time. As we drove, the subliminal imagery of the monoliths, spires, buttes, mesas, canyons and sand dunes invoked a powerful associative reflex, and the distinction between reality and illusion became blurred.

We continued along the rectilinear ribbon of the road until we encountered one such mirage of the ancients. OK, maybe it was only a burro but for a moment I was transported back in time. John insisted we stop for a picture and I rolled my eyes at his hypocrisy. He generally mocks tacky tourists who take pictures of animals in the wild and then get attacked.

And then a Machiavellian plan unfolded. As he made his way back, I deviously exclaimed, “The burro is attacking!” Instinctively, John raced back to the Jeep to find me laughing hysterically. In his defense, he weakly said, “I thought I heard him running.” My query, “Do burros RUN?” did not lesson the pain. He will not be stopping to photograph wild and ferocious burros anytime soon, I’m sure.

Canyon de Chelly
We were intoxicated with the sights and smells of the labyrinth called Canyon de Chelly from the moment we arrived in Arizona’s northeastern desert haven—from the pungent scent of the vegetation, to the purity of the dust and the lucidity of the air.

Canyon de Chelly (pronounced d’SHAY) is really several canyons that rise as high as 1,000 feet above the floor, overshadowing the streams, cottonwoods and small farms below. The Canyon de Chelly National Monument was established in 1931 to preserve the land where people have lived for nearly 5,000 years—longer than anyone has lived uninterrupted anywhere on the Colorado Plateau. Embracing nearly 84,000 acres within the Navajo Reservation, the monument is administered by the National Park Service but belongs to the Navajo people.

Backcountry camping was out of the question in Navajoland so we stayed at the Cottonwood Campground, which was free of charge. We stopped as the Visitor’s Center in the morning and learned the rules and regulations were similar to Monument Valley.

With the exception of one designated trail, we were not allowed to hike unless we were on a tour or with a Navajo guide. The tours cost $40 for a half day, or $15 per hour with a private guide, with a minimum of three hours. We opted to explore the south and north rim drives on our own, which took in famous ruins such as the Mummy Cave and the Sliding House.

The highlight of Canyon de Chelly was the 2.5-mile roundtrip hike to the White House ruin. We followed the trail along the rim for about 1,000 feet before descending steeply into a canyon that had been polished by eons of sandpaper winds.

The White House was like an apparition floating in the cliffs. Built and occupied centuries ago by ancient Puebloan people, it is named for a long wall in the upper dwelling that is covered with white plaster. At its zenith, the village housed about 100 men, women and children in 60 rooms. The pottery shards surrounding it testified to the leavings of an ancient civilization.

I could not wait to document the ruin on paper and film. Until I realized I had forgotten my notebook. And then my camera malfunctioned. Regardless, we were in good spirits when we finally made the steep ascent back to asphalt and civilization and prepared for the final leg of our Trail of the Ancients.

Four Corners Monument
The sprint to the Trail of the Ancients finish line had a few speed bumps. Our final stop was at the Four Corners Monument, the only place in the United States where four states and two Indian nations share borders. Established in 1912, this monument was to be the capstone of our Four Corners tour.

I had envisioned our crowning moment. The desert sun would blaze down upon us. We’d explore the Visitor’s Center and small jewelry shops on the perimeter of the monument before planting ourselves on the marker. And we would smile like tacky tourists as photographs were taken to document the experience for posterity.

Of course, that was the illusion. Reality was that we got caught in a blinding sandstorm. We skipped the booths and made a mad dash to the marker where we stood for a good five seconds.

And pictures? Get real. Don’t forget the broken camera.

Total elapsed time at the monument: five minutes.

The total elapsed time of finally hearing the silence of a region that many revere as sacred: timeless.

-Amber Borowski Johnson

Thumbing with the Devil

So, while my dear husband was holding down the fort at home as his pumpkin got pummeled by a tornado, find out what I were doing.

And just how much I was eating.

Note: This is not the actual size, which was about 10 times bigger.

READ ON

A sneak peak at when you peaked

I had a pretty interesting conversation with my Facebook peeps and I’m interested in your feedback.

In one of my illustrious status updates, I joked that I reached my peak in sixth grade. I was only kinda kidding. That was the year I took home the best all-around athlete and student award, beating out some very deserving students who went on to become doctors, lawyers and curlers.

This was, after all, Canada.

The years that followed were pretty anti-climactic. In junior high, I was always on the honor roll and won all kinds of sporting awards but my heavens, I went through that ugly/awkward phase.

I would show you pictures but I burned them all.

In high school, I was in the Calgary Herald’s Sports Hall of Fame for volleyball and kicked some serious soccer arse. But academically? Let’s just say I wasn’t really there.

Literally.

Hence the reason I had to take math in summer school before college to make up for all those classes I skipped.

Socially, I was a late bloomer. I was an extra for a movie the summer before my senior year and dated a jerk I met. I had a serious boyfriend for several years during college and our successive missions (5 year total). But I never really blossomed until after I graduated from college and had dates. As in plural. As in that had never happened to me before.

And so I peaked intellectually in sixth grade and socially in my late-20s.

No wonder they call us dumb blonds.

So, I’m curious to hear your feedback. When did you peak intellectually, academically, athletically, etc.?

BlogHer ’09: The Year of the Wiernermobile

I was not going to attend BlogHer ’09 and I was OK with that. Though I made some great friends at BlogHer ’07, I found the event entirely too cliquey and overwhelming. BlogHer ’08 in San Francisco was better but I still wasn’t feeling it.

My only saving grace were those bacon mints from China Town.

So, when I got wait-listed for BlogHer ’09, I decided it was a sign I was not supposed to attend. But then the skies opened and the good Lord smiled down upon me to the tune of Sara Lee offering to fly me to Chicago a couple of days before BlogHer for a fantastic back-to-school nutrition summit (that I’ll talk more about later).

And then I knew I had to stick around for BlogHer.

I had fabulous roommates: Secret Agent Mama Mischelle is just the sweetest life-sized Macedonian doll who I would have bottled up and taken home with me if only she didn’t snore. 🙂 Hilarious Sarcastic Mom Lotus was the partier: she threw the Room 704 Party (one of the largest non-sponsored parties) and didn’t even come back another night because she was up playing. Fruit Lady Amy was my fellow Colorodoan who was supposed to be my snuggle buddy but between her staying with a college roommate one night and me taking Mudslide Mama’s empty room another, we only had one night to spoon.

My last year’s roommate Michelle from Scribbit is still recovering from last year when I allegedly attacked her.

Sadly, my camera is near death so I really didn’t take very many pictures but I did write a synopsis over at Mile High Mamas today.

It involves the best swag, the best party, the biggest controversy and the absolute highlight of BlogHer ’09: RIDING IN THE WIENERMOBILE.

Shotbun.

It doesn’t get any better than that, folks. READ ON

It’s PJ & Pancake PARRRRRTY Time!

For Bode’s 3rd birthday, I decided we would have a casual PJ & Pancake Party for a few neighborhood kids (photo is from his party invite). Eighteen people ended up attending.

Evidently, I do not do “casual” well.

In the end, it was unavoidable. The few kids he wanted to invite were young, too young for their parents to leave (or rather, too young for me to want to watch them by myself). So, I invited the parents who, in turn, needed to bring their older kids.

Hence the ripe ol’ #18.

That said, it was one of the most casual, easiest parties I have ever thrown and I am convinced that parents over-think, over-plan, over-obsess and over-spend. In the end, kids just want a few key ingredients.

1) Pancakes & all the fixings (and some fixings that should never have been considered on a pancake).

2) Friends in PJs

3) Simple entertainment such as:

Best “Bed Head” Winner, Gavin

A sauna (otherwise known as a bouncy castle on a hot day).

4) Cake. Or rather, panCAKE (made by the birthday boy himself).

5) The Free-for-all (also known as opening presents)

Not to mention bossy sisters who do it for you.

6) The post-party party. Instructions: Just make, like, saaaaay 100 extra pancakes and have them sitting in the kitchen. This will ignite children’s creativity.

Or deviance.

Funny, I never realized how much pancakes resemble Frisbees.

Trust my kids to notice.

Happy Birthday to Bode Man!

Dear Bode,

I cannot believe you will turn 3 on Saturday! I feel like we’ve done a full circle, as we just returned from Crested Butte–the very place we christened you as we watched Bode Miller bomb out at the Olympics.

It could be worse. You could be named after the prostitute from “Forever Amber” like me.

What a wonderful year this has been. We feared a descent into the Terrible 2s but got a mostly jovial little guy who is so quirky, funny, intense and loving. Well, except for the last two weeks, which have been a preview of The Chemical Imbalance Known as the Traumatizing 3s.

But we won’t talk about all those tantrums today because Mommy is, well, traumatized.

You are like a little puppy. Mommy can leave for a only a few minutes but that moment of reuniting again? Sheer joy!

That, or your father claims you have early-onset Alzheimer’s.

Whenever you get excited about something you gasp with delight, reminding us that so many things we take for granted in this world should be deeply revered such as chocolate ice cream for dinner or four minutes of reprieve while your sister is sent to timeout.

You are a wonderfully loyal little thing. From the moment your Aunt Tammy bought Hadley a toy husky dog last summer in Jackson, WY you have loved Lolly. But it had to be from afar because Sissy took her everywhere. The moment Hadley left for preschool, Lolly was yours for a few hours. You took her everywhere: to the store and even on hikes. One day when we were hiking Red Rocks, we stopped to talk to some people on the trail. I encouraged you to say “hello” and you instead grabbed Lolly and howled “Ha-wooooo.”

Even better.

Fortunately, Hadley is fickle and her affections for Lolly subsided as soon as she got another pet toy but Lolly remains your most prized and treasured possession.

In May, Daddy took you on your first father-son camp-out. I died a little bit inside as I saw you pack up all your big-boy belongings for a night in the mountains with your father.

Then I died a lot more inside when Hadley made me rent Beverly Hills Chihuahua for our Girl’s Night In.

You know far more than any kid should ever know about pumpkins and love spending time at the patch. In fact, Daddy even caught you with the tape measure trying to ascertain the size of our butternut squash. If children learn by example, it is my nightly prayer you will not learn from his.

Your best buddy is neighbor Shawnie and why not? You are only one month apart in age, have the same sweet disposition and swap stories about your hormonal sisters.

That is boy bonding at its best.

One day when Shawnie was over, Mommy found you both in your closet sitting atop a huge pile of blankets as you fed him a contraband bowl of marshmallows and Crispex. On the next playdate at Shawnie’s, he cried when Daddy came to pick you up because there is nothing more sad than a Bode-less life.

Despite your occasional affinity to pink umbrellas, you are all boy in your pursuits. You play for hours in the sandbox with your trucks and with your “Choo-choo” track upstairs. You have been known to fight ’til the death if anyone dares to touch Gordon; Thomas is for woosies.

You are into guns. Mommy is not sure from whence this recent obsession came but after gunning everyone down with your straw, she finally bought you some waterguns. She quickly regretted his decision. Death by straw is considerably less wet than by a watergun.

You are such a sweet, calming influence in our lives. Even though you’re busy conquering your world, you still have time to snuggle. When Mommy was cutting your fingernails a couple of months ago you looked up at me and in the sweetest voice, begged me to “Be Gentelw.”

That melted Mommy’s heart whereas Daddy threatened to send you to Toughen Up School. He did, however, gain faith when you brazenly joined your sister in the ram scramble at the Steamboat rodeo. You wisely hung back because well, duh, who is stupid enough to try to grab a flag off a sheep’s butt while getting trampled by the preschooler peloton?

Of course you have been known for other occasional intellectual lapses but we won’t hold them against you.

The reason? They are called “blog fodder.”

Happy birthday and here’s to many more years of it!

Much love,

Mommy

Giving credit where credit is overdue

I love to tease Jamie on my blog. And for good reason: the man is obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin.

But where much is expected, much is given. And the man is a giver!

Every year he has surprised me with a romantic getaway. One year, it was a gorgeous cabin in Breckenridge. Last year, it was the St. Julien in Boulder.

This year, he told me he was dropping the kids off at Grandma’s and taking me on a date to Sabo Latino, a new-to-me restaurant in the funky Highlands neighborhood. An hour before we were supposed to leave, something happened that had me in a tizzy. In response, I got delusional and said we should just take the kids with us, to which Jamie shook me until the delirium disappeared.

The reason? When we were driving to dinner, he presented me with this:


Three clues for my personal scavenger hunt around town. I programmed each address into the GPS of the iPhone he surprised me with the week prior.

That alone discounts the excessive amount of time he spends in the pumpkin patch.

The first venue was indeed Sabo Latino as he had promised. The food was pretty good but I was through the moon when I discovered my foodie obsession that I developed on our Costa Rica honeymoon: plantains.


My next clue led me to our second activity: a couple’s massage at Indulgence’s Day Spa.


This photo was taken before he told me to “Shut Up.” Evidently, some people do not blabber on during their massage. Something about relaxation.

My final surprise blew me away: Jamie had arranged a slumber party with Grandma for the kids and took me to the Lumber Baron Inn & Gardens, a gorgeous B&B tucked away in the Highlands.


Did I feel guilty that he planned this romantic getaway, knowing that we have been taking a lot of family vacations lately? Certainly. But then I remembered our crummy winter that included The Lice, two months straight of illness and the immeasurable stress of starting our own web development business during it all.


And then I got over it.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

From the thrill of victory….

To the agony of defeat.

That involved strange men and crowbars.

For all the sordid details of The Good, Bad and [very] Ugly during our trip to Steamboat Springs, go here.

Happy Canada Day!

In honor of Canada Day today, allow me to divulge a disturbing glimpse into the life of my Canuckian parents who met each other curling.

And no, I’m not making that up. It is the Canadian version of meeting at a bar.

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Mom: I guess we need to go and buy another I.D. dog tag for Mia. I can’t seem to find the tag we bought yesterday, and I’m not going to get a good night of sleep until she has her tag.

So they roar off to Petland. On their way to Petland, Mom conducts yet another search of the car, and lo and behold, the missing I.D. tag is found safely tucked into the glove box.

Since they are near The Superstore, Dad pops into the store for a minute,and soon they are on the way home.

Mom: Where is the I.D. tag? I can’t imagine where it disappeared to!

Dad: Well, it has got to be in the car somewhere.

After yet another round of searching, the said I.D. tag is found in Chris’ purse.

Dad: Give me that tag. I am going to hold it until we get home, and immediately put it on that dog as soon as we get home!

===========

Stan (noticing that his tooth brush was wet): Chris ,did you just use my purple tooth brush?

Chris: Your purple tooth brush? The purple one is MY tooth brush.

Stan: No, your tooth brush is blue, I have been using the purple one for the past year!

Hello, Apple? Meet Tree.

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On another note, my friend Cheryl interviewed me today at MormonWoman.org. It’s not so much a site for LDS peeps but rather, a glimpse into what it is like to be a Mormon woman for those not of our faith. It’s a great site that attempts to dispel misconceptions and portray us in an authentic, positive light.

Still trying to figure out why she wanted to interview me. 🙂