Evidence we know how to party

Last week, we celebrated Aunt Lisa’s birthday and per her request, we met at Pei Wei for dinner. She tried to be in good spirits despite having one foot closer to the grave. But she was understandably bummed because her television had died that day and she can’t afford to replace it.

To try to cheer her up, I gave her a pick of fortune cookies and told her the one she chose would be indicative of the year she was going to have. I have great faith in these little cookies of wisdom. Once upon a time when I was single, I was having a rough day, went to the store, bought an entire box of fortune cookies and ate them all.

I felt moderately ill afterward but was I ever bolstered up by all the well-wishes.

As I assured Lisa that this cookie was going to prophesy that this was going to be HER year, she opened it. The inspirational counsel? “Don’t be tempted to spend money.”

Her year is gonna suck.

We returned to our house where we stuffed her full of 12 mini-cheesecakes from glorious Cheesecake Therapy and presented her with her present from the entire family. So as not to give false expectations, I wrote on the card:


But a pink camera is pretty darn cool.

Jamie had his own ideas for the celebration. He gave us his puppy-dog eyes and said we all needed to go to The Pumpkin Patch. Truth be told, I haven’t been there in a month. He is growing his pumpkins on our neighbor’s property and has to hop two fences to get there. And so we drove.

He is growing two Giants that he measures morning and night. He obviously cannot put them on a scale so he guesstimates their size by measuring their circumference. One of them has already exceeded his previous year’s 755-pound mark and he still has over 30 days of growing until the competition.

See those huge posts and hail netting? They took him weeks to build.

Some pictures defy words but this one?

It reveals that his pumpkin is indeed his second wife.

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