Hear no evil, speak no evil

Jamie and I were out hiking last Saturday when he spotted a flash of fluorescent orange about 5,000 miles away.

“Either that is one of those orange balls hanging from a power line or there is a hunter over there,” he observed.

I squinted, I strained but I saw nothin’. Now, I have had crummy eyesight my whole life. I was diagnosed with a lazy eye in elementary school, got contact lenses in junior high, and Lasik as an adult.

After having spent much of my life behind some kind of lens, the surgery was liberating. But it was not entirely effective because I had it done during a visit to Canada and was unable to have any follow-up appointments (it is kind of a bad commute, y’know). The result is great eyesight during the day but evenings have turned into a spiritual experience with a lovely halo draping everything.

Jamie never ceases to rub in the fact that he has perfect vision but during the hike, he sank to a new level.

“You see, this is why I need a new high-definition TV. On our current television, everything is blurry because of my superior eyesight.”

It did not stop there and he proceeded to give me long-winded discourse on HDTVs, rebates blah blah blah.

Finally, I turned to him.

“Jamie, you know that stuff about my crappy eyesight?”

“Why, yes.”

“Well, your little discourse is just falling on deaf ears.”

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