Utah Mom Blog & Mommy Blogger | Life Elevated Mom

As bad as it gets

November 10, 2009 by Amber

Our church building is located on a large property with a beautiful grove of trees. People often hold wedding receptions there and church members are responsible for its maintenance. In the winter, we shovel. In the summer, we weed. And in the fall, we rake.

Leaves, in case you are not aware, are allegedly a great source of nutrients for some people’s pumpkin patches.

As we were leaving church on Sunday, the kids and I started walking to the car while Jamie made a beeline in the opposite direction. At first, I had no idea what he was doing.

And then I saw the bags of recently raked leaves in the garbage.

Me (beckoning across the parking lot): “Jamie, you are wearing your suit. Get out of that dumpster!!!!”

Friend Dawn who was walking by at the time: “Are things really that bad at home, Amber?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

My rivoting commentary on babies and b*oob jobs

November 9, 2009 by Amber

Has it really been almost a week since my last ~~confession~~ posting? I’ve been busy. Really busy. Busy not sleeping due to the blasted time change, busy wrangling children, busy with travel.

Yes, my friends I have been in Motown where I came face-to-face with $100,000 crash dummies.

Not to be confused with some of my former flames.

They would definitely not be worth that much.

So, come on over to Mile High Mamas and find out what babies and b*oob jobs have in common.

I promise it’s not what you’d think.

=============

In March 1996 I was hit and run over by a semi-truck while driving on the freeway. I obviously survived. I should not have. My car was broadsided by the semi and after a deadly pinball machine game, I wound up splattered against the median. The semi’s tire tracks mere inches behind my seat.

An experience like that forever changes your perspective on car safety. I was fortunate to be wearing my seat belt, a fluke because I was a carefree college student who rarely wore one. I have no doubt it saved my life.

Since having children, I have researched the best car seats. I always have them professionally installed by the fire department after hearing staggering statistics that 80 percent are done incorrectly. But I have to be honest: I have never really considered how safe my car is. I drive an SUV that was built in the last five years. Price, reliability and consumer ratings were my utmost concerns when purchasing it. It has safety measures like airbags for the front seats but never once have I thought about the backseat, generally viewed as a safer place to be but without protective measures in place.

Until now.

I was invited to attend a Ford safety event in Michigan last week. Even though I have worked with Ford in the past, I thought it was strange they would fly out a handful of perky mommy bloggers to a press conference that was dominated by brooding automotive journalists.

And yes, we did stand out just a wee bit.

Then Ford unveiled the auto industry’s first-ever inflatable seat belts, which are designed to enhance protection for rear-seat occupants in a crash (basically, a backseat version of airbags). This groundbreaking new technology will make them a champion among parents. The reason: Our children are often seated in the back and are the ones most vulnerable to head, chest and neck injuries.

The room was abuzz after the announcement. This technology has been in development for almost 10 years and these automotive dudes were excited. Ford had a sample inflatable seat belt and I gave it a try. The seat belt itself appears normal but its rounded edges are more comfortable than traditional ones. It inflated like an airbag upon impact and spread the crash forces over five times more area of the body than conventional seat belts, reducing pressure on the chest and helping control neck motion.

The moms banded together to pepper the safety technical leader, Srini Sundararajan, with questions. Yes, he said Ford had thoroughly tested it with all kinds of car and booster seats. Yes, they had experimented with it in a number of different positions, such as when children are slumped over sleeping or they twist the seat belt. No, it is not currently available but will launch on the 2011 Ford Explorer.

Then one of the moms hesitatingly whispered to me, “What about breast implants? How will it impact them?”

I brazenly stepped forward and asked this question of all questions. To his credit, Mr. Safety Man did not flinch and assured me the seat belts are perfectly safe for breast implants.

I can guarantee that question was never posed by any of those brooding automotive types.

In the end, I was given a greater appreciation for automotive technologies and the years of experimentation that are for our safety and benefit. I was especially impressed with Ford, which was the first company to develop and launch seat belts (1955) and airbags (1985). I later toured the safety lab and witnessed various Myth Busters-esque crash tests (and even performed one myself).

Anyone who has known me more than 10 minutes will find humor that I, of all people, was entrusted with such a responsibility.

And I’m also impressed with their latest technology:

Ford’s Rear Inflatable Seat Belts: Friends to Both Babies and Boob Jobs.

I think I may have clinched their next marketing campaign.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The party’s over

November 2, 2009 by Amber

Halloween a.k.a. my month-long party is over.

Well, month-and-a-half-long party if you count back to mid-September when I put out the decorations (much to Jamie’s dismay).

In the end, we had really easy costumes: Bode wanted to be a firefighter (again) and Haddie opted for a bat. I simply resurrected the bodysuit from her kitty costume last year, found a pair of butterfly wings at the thrift store that I spray-painted black, styled her hair into bat ears and had Jamie make her a mask.

Cheapest Halloween ever.

We participated in our neighborhood’s annual parade and the procession was led by a fire truck, perfect for the little firefighter himself.

And hung out with our neighborhood besties.

It was the first year the kids really got into trick-or-treating and wanted to venture beyond just our block.

Because they figured out more houses = more candy.

I did not approve of Haddie’s choice to be a bat and cringed every time she made me do online research about them. She wanted to be a “mean bat” and was repeatedly annoyed when folks would comment how “cute” she was.

Bats are not cute, people. They are creepy, scary and ugly.

I mourned when I took down the decorations and lamented to Jamie, “Now that Halloween is over, what do I have to look forward to?”

Jamie: “How about Christmas? You know. Jesus‘ birthday.”

Oh yeah. That.

Ever wonder where my Halloween obsession comes from? Checkout my parent’s house in Calgary:

That picture is not even including the blow-up giant pumpkin on their lawn.

And my brother Jade’s “Duct Man” costume this year.

Still searching for an explanation for this one.

Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, holidays Tagged With: Halloween

Park City Mountain Resort: A Cut of the Good Life

October 30, 2009 by Amber

“This is my best day ever!”

Thus squealed my 4-year-old daughter Hadley. It was Day 1 of our family vacation to Park City Mountain Resort last year. I suspect her proclamation had very little do with the 8-hour drive from Denver we had endured and everything to do with the soak in our private hot tub at Ski Lift Condominiums that overlooked the pulse of Park City’s Historic District.

I moved away from The Greatest Snow on Earth seven years ago. And while Colorado is certainly not lacking in great resorts, there’s no place like home. I once made a career out of extolling the virtues of Utah’s powder playgrounds so I was thrilled when I was named as one of Park City Mountain Resort’s Snowmamas. This was my first time to return with family in tow so expectations to reap what I had once sowed were high.

Family Vacations Without the Kids

I love my children. Really, I do. But sometimes family vacations don’t have to be entirely about the family. Early in my children’s lives, I sacrificed the number of days I spent on the slopes. At Park City, those days were no more.

Clubbin’ at The Clubhouse
We dropped 2 ½-year-old Bode off at The Clubhouse, Park City’s hourly childcare center that accommodates children ages 2 months – 12 years. This was the first time I have left my self-professed Mama’s Boy in unfamiliar surroundings and I was a bit nervous.

My apprehension lasted exactly 2.5 seconds when the doting staff offered to change his noxious diaper prior to my departure. I then watched as my Mama’s-Boy-no-more joyfully delved into the onslaught of toys and activities that included arts and crafts, reading time, games, and song and dance activities. He had snacks, a healthy lunch he actually ate and naptime in a tranquil, darkened room. After his revelries at The Clubhouse, he was asking,

“Mommy? Mommy who?”

Park City Mountain Resort’s Signature Ski Program

With one down, I had only one more to go. I enrolled Hadley in PCMR’s Signature Ski Program. Classes feature a child-specialist instructor and blend ski instruction with additional activities in their world-class mountain school.

This was Hadley’s third time on skis and her previous attempts had been sketchy at best. But after two days in the program, she was getting on and off the chairlift by herself, snowplowing, turning and stopping. I couldn’t have taught her better myself.

This is exactly why I left it to PCMR’s professionals.

When Grown-Ups Become Kids Again

For two uninterrupted days, my husband Jamie and I played to our heart’s content. We demoed top-of-the line skis from Park City Mountain Rentals. We tackled expanses of untracked powder, experienced thrills and spills on the moguls and marveled at the sea of awe-inspiring Wasatch mountaintops. Jamie’s family joined us for our second day and we played on the terrain park’s jumps, rails and funboxes. OK, more like they played while I took their picture.

I was not that intent on reliving my thrill-seeking years.

To add a dash of variety to its on-mountain activities, Park City Mountain Resort has added the Alpine Coaster, a cross between an alpine slide, a roller coaster and my husband’s worst nightmare.

You see, Jamie avoids roller coasters like a colicky baby shuns sleep. And the alpine coaster’s elevated track has more than a mile of loops and corkscrew turns that I was sure would send him over the edge.

Turns out I should have been more worried about my sanity. For about 10 minutes, my open “car” slowly climbed high above the resort center and then it turned back downhill on a gravity-fueled series of hair-pin curves at 30-40 mph. I screamed like a girl the entire time.

Good thing I am one.

Park City = Good Eatin’

Skiing is a lifestyle that involves all sorts of pleasures, excellent food being among them. Park City does not disappoint.

On-Mountain

My expectations are generally low when it comes to on-mountain cuisine because greasy burgers and French fries seem to be the staples. Not at Park City Mountain Resort. My husband and I had possibly the best chicken nachos and Kobe beef burger I have ever eaten at Legends Bar & Grill. Kristi’s Café had a delicious selection of gourmet pizzas, [non-greasy] burgers, pasta, and a soup and salad bar that puts most buffets to shame.

Off-Mountain

Ski Lift Condominiums have more than just luxurious accommodations going for them: they are centrally located on Park City’s Main Street, which boasts some of the best dining in Utah. Much to my delight, many of the restaurants offer kid-friendly menus and diversions.

On our first night we ate at Zoom, a Sundance-owned restaurant where the children ate the white cheddar macaroni and cheese while I indulged in the Wood-Grilled Filet Mignon. Another night, we ate at Butcher’s Chop House & Bar (http://www.butcherschophouse.com/) where the kids ordered chicken and papaya quesadillas while I opted for the “Le Chateau” Filet Mignon.

Sensing a pattern with my choice in menu items?

Let’s face it: when your life is all about “Ground Beef” at home, sometimes it’s nice spoil yourself with “The Filet Life” when on a family vacation.

And Park City Mountain Resort certainly delivers.

Photo credit: Park City Mountain Resort.

Filed Under: Family travel, Humor, outdoors, skiing, travel

This week in mommy blogger history

October 28, 2009 by Amber

So, we’ve been busy.

Getting snowed in with record-breaking snowfall and trying out the kids’ new shovels.

Building snow caves.

And yes, we’re in Colorado (though it looks a lot like Canada)

Playing with the newest addition to our family.

Making a Dry Ice Crystal Ball at our annual Halloween bash.

(And miraculously, I did not blow up the house).

Making “Incredibly” eerie ghost sounds with balloons.

(I learned all these cool science experiments at a Steve Spangler Science event I attended. Checkout Mile High Mamas Creative Corner for more fun ideas).

And just being cute.

(Hadley is second from the left and had long since removed her bat costume. Bode is a firefighter on the front row).

The in-laws rushed their move along and were thrilled to leave this week because they “did not want to move in winter.”

Sucks to be them.

Filed Under: Colorado, holidays, Humor Tagged With: Halloween

The Crazy Crew

October 28, 2009 by Amber

Amber
Shameless Columnist, Travel Writer and Mommy Blogger. Devoted Wife. Frazzled Mother.

Former Crazy Canuck Radio Personality, Prolific Publicist, Public Speaker. Defender of Truth.

Most likely to be found lost in the backcountry with her family.

Frequently has delusions of Superhero Grandeur.

Jamie

Hunky Hubby, Faithful Father, Outdoor Aficionado.

Web Design Business Owner, Entrepreneurial Genius.

King of the One-Liners. All around swell guy.

Obsessed with Growing The Great Pumpkin.

Hurricane Hadley
Gregarious, Fearless and Larger-than-life.

Loves Skating, Skiing, Drawing, Hiking, Swimming, Skiing and Humbling Parents.

Born 10 days early when her father promised to buy her a car on her 16th birthday if she was born that day.

Somehow controlled the elements even in the womb.

Colicky baby, spirited third grader.

There may be casualties.

Bode “Bubby”
First boy ever to love Wii and soccer..

First grader who is already showing his academic prowess. Is snuggly, sweet, and loving.

Except for when provoked by his sister.

Named after skiing legend Bode Miller and has taken to skiing like ~~a fish to water~~ like Bode Miller to the slopes.

Parents already plotting his Olympic future.

Final photo: The Crazy Clan on a sleigh ride at Durango Mountain Resort. February, 2010.

Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

Contact Me

October 28, 2009 by Amber

I’d love to hear from you!

Email: crazycanuck131 [at] yahoo [dot] com.

Twitter: @TheMileHighMama

Linkedin: Amber Johnson

Testimonial:

“Amber, reading your travel tweets is like watching a Chevy Chase Vacation movie….”
-@Monica2point0

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About Me

October 28, 2009 by Amber

I am an uproarious and fun-loving gal who has a passion for my family, travel, the outdoors and writing. Originally from Canada, I relocated to Denver via Salt Lake City when I gave up my wanderlust, travel-writin’ life to marry the real love of my life. Together, my American husband and I have two “half-breeds”: Hadley (age 8) and Bode (age 6). Go here for more details on the Crazy Crew.

I was the Grand Prize Winner in Microsoft Office’s Winter Games Contest and was their accredited blogger at the 2010 Vancouver Games. As an avid winter sports enthusiast, this was a dream come true! Be sure to read all my behind-the-scenes adventures that included how The Today Show’s Matt Lauer stole my moment in the spotlight and how I put my foot in my mouth when meeting Wayne Gretzky.

I am the founder and editor of Mile High Mamas for The Denver Post – an award-winning site that is touted as Colorado’s largest online network of mommy bloggers. I am a Snowmama for Park City Mountain Resort’s cutting-edge social media site and am coordinating a social media campaign for Colorado Ski Country this winter. I am also a Brand Enthusiast for Nintendo and have worked with top brands such as Frigidaire, Ford, Sara Lee, Feld Entertainment and Playtex.

I am a regular speaker at social media conferences and have received numerous awards including being honored in Westword magazine’s Best of Denver edition, as a Top 75 Moms on Twitter by American Express, Best of MSN, Blogtrepreneur’s Top 50 Mommy Blogs and startup powerhouse Sampa’s Top 10 Mommy Blogs You Should Read. I make regular appearances in the media and placements have included CBS 4 Denver, Martino TV, FOX 31, MSNBC.com KOA radio and The Denver Post.

After graduating from college, I spent a number of years working as a publicist for Utah’s ski and outdoor industry whilst moonlighting as the “Craaaaazy Canuck” radio personality and travel writer. I became infamous for detailing my humorous misadventures en route and continue to do so as a family travel writer. I was recently interviewed as a travel expert in Woman’s Day magazine.

My husband Jamie and I work and play together. As the former Director of Interactive at the Denver Newspaper Agency, he founded Pixo Web Design & Strategy where I oversee social media. We love climbing Colorado’s 14ers (14,000-foot peaks), backpacking Southern Utah, skiing, mountain biking, playing volleyball and roller-blading.

He is perfect for me in every way with the exception that he is obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. He was even interviewed in the October ’09 issue of National Geographic about Said Obsession.

Don’t mock him. That’s my job.

And apparently Jerry Seinfeld and Ricky Gervais’ responsibility as well. Jamie and I recently appeared on the premiere of Seinfeld’s comedic show, NBC’s The Marriage Ref battling it out over (what else) The Great Pumpkin.

I may have lost that battle on national television but this blog is about winning the war.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Have Kids, Will Travel

October 28, 2009 by Amber

I found an audience as the travel editor of a monthly outdoor publication with my humorous narratives. Travel writing should be fun, not just a checklist of what to do. Add children to the mix and family travel becomes an unpredictable yet gratifying adventure. I write about the real story, infusing levity as I highlight the best that destinations have to offer.

My young children have traveled all over the Western United States, Mexico and Canada and I am always on the lookout for family-friendly destinations. We may occasionally receive discounted or complimentary rates on hotels and services, which I disclose while striving to give an accurate review.

In addition to publishing articles on my personal blog, my writings regularly appear in the Family Travel section of The Denver Post’s Mile High Mamas and I also freelance for various travel publications and blogs. As all my writings are personal narratives, I do not write about destinations I have not personally visited. To see an example of my work, be sure to read this compilation of my favorite articles as well as my family’s Tour de Colorado, a series of road trips that highlighted the best that Colorado has to offer.

And also divulged a few of my family’s worst (but utterly hilarious) moments.

You may contact me at crazycanuck131 [at] yahoo [dot] com.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

This is the week we’ve been dreading

October 27, 2009 by Amber

My in-laws are moving to Utah at the end of the week.

They have been an integral part of our survival since I moved to Denver seven years ago. When I had my children, my mother-in-law helped me in every way possible without ever overstepping her bounds.

When Haddie was little, she took her every Wednesday so I could have a break. My in-laws would watch our kids when Jamie and I wanted to go backpacking, on week-long cruises or just on a date night.

Basically, our life is over now.

Or at least it will suck as much as the rest of you who don’t have family nearby.

On Saturday, my in-laws took the kids for the their final playdate and sleepover at their house. Jamie and I went on a date to new-to-us Purple Ginger Asian Fusion, snuggled in bed all afternoon watching football and then attended the Tennyson Center’s ’50s event benefiting the fight against child abuse. We attended with three beautiful bloggers and their greasy husbands.

Jamie was the only greaser who realized five minutes before we were supposed to leave he did not have a white T-shirt so he wore a gray one.

And then he refused to roll up his pants and grease his hair.

Basically, he was the worst greaser ever.

We called the evening “The Last Supper.” Cuz it kinda was for us with the loss of our babysitters.

On Sunday, the children at church had their annual Primary presentation. Hadley gave a stirring performance with her memorized line, “Read the scriptures and have family home evening.” She sat on the front row of the stage and proceeded to yawn, stretch, check for loose teeth and basically do anything that did not require being attentive.

That’s my girl.

That night, we had Duane and Linda over for dinner and carved the children’s pumpkin. We topped the evening off with pumpkin gingerbread and caramel sauce for dessert.

The rest of this week will be a frenzy of helping them pack, move and then mourn. A couple of weeks ago, I volunteered to spearhead their Craigslist furniture postings. They had several big-ticket items they wanted to sell like their piano, dining room set and kitchen table. I wrote eloquent posts, really I did. I made people want to buy up every last item.

So, imagine our shock when they did not have even once person call them all week.

“You’ve overpriced everything,” we told them. So my father-in-law went back in and reduced the prices. We had already lost one week in their very small two-week window.

It was then that he realized one minor detail: I had listed the wrong phone number.

On Every. Single. Listing.

You see, there is this glorious little tool called a cut-and-paste. And when you include one incorrect fact, you are able to unknowingly duplicate it many times over.

That’s what you get when you’re entrusting the sale of valuable goods with a medicine-induced blond Canuck.

And yes, I am available for all your copywriting needs.

Filed Under: Family, Humor