A Final Colorado Father’s Day to Remember

June 20, 2016 by

I heard Jamie on the phone raving that he got the best Father’s Day present ever and I wondered what he was talking about. Was it the new North Face boots? (We lost one of his winter boots on a trip last season.) The Broncos camping chair? The new THEATER sign to hang outside of his home theater in our new basement?

Nope, none of that. “Our house is under finally under contract!”

Oh yeah, THAT!

Yes, we’re under contract for a second time. It feels right and I’m cautiously optimistic all will go according to plan. This literally came to fruition in the 11th hour, right before we would need to make some big changes to our timeline (and finances) and after my near nervous breakdown. Our buyers are a cute family from North Carolina and they offered us our full asking price. The second one, not the first. It’s a wee bit painful it’s $15,000 less than our original offer but I’m so over the whole process that I’m ready to take it and run.

Jamie first told me they were submitting an offer on Friday when I was volunteering at Bode’s Cub Scout Twilight Camp. In the hot sun. With poorly planned activities that required us to entertain them for hours on end (my definition of hell). I was happy with the news but not that happy until after I’d downed a Slurpee, taken a cold shower and had a full night of sleep.

Once I was refreshed and in air-conditioning, I promised Jamie I’d make him his favorite apple pie for Father’s Day. Our ward has an awesome tradition of eating pie for Mother’s and Father’s Day so after stuffing our faces at church, we escaped Denver’s 99-degree day and headed for the hills.

The day after Jamie and I got engaged, he took me hiking to St. Mary’s Glacier and it has been an annual tradition ever since. I get a bit misty-eyed thinking about all our adventures there–from when we carried baby Hadley in her backpack to when she hiked it herself when she was 3, to Bode’s arrival on the scene, to hiking it with friends and carsickness (puking) on the trail, to when Hadley scaled the entire glacier two years in a row, to the time Jamie ran over her foot in the parking lot and we decided to forgo the hike. Memories, I tell ya!

St. Mary’s Glacier truly has some of the most beautiful vistas just outside of Denver.

When Hadley is enraptured with her surroundings, she steals my phone to take pictures. She has an eye for photography and I’d love to get her a real camera.

A trip to a glacier wouldn’t be complete without an old-fashioned snowball fight. (Note Jamie’s snowball mid-flight.)

We came back exhausted, much cooler and made a big spread of grilled burgers, veggies and, of course, more apple pie while we curled up in our cool basement to watch a movie in our home theater room.

The perfect Father’s Day? Pretty much. And I couldn’t ask for a better husband, father and father-in-law to celebrate.

Filed Under: Colorado, hiking, Jamie

Sixth Grade Continuation

June 17, 2016 by

I’ve been crazy proud of Hadley’s progress this year and it couldn’t have been done without the love, patience, inspiration and tutelage of her teacher, Deb McLean, who ignited within her a passion to learn. And not just the desire to acquire knowledge but with the confidence to know that she can learn, that she is smart enough and capable. There were three levels of scholars that were awarded and Hadley walked away with the second-tier honors and mostly a report card with As and Bs (except for math but we’re finally at grade level so no complaints), which is pretty miraculous considering she was so far behind at the beginning of the year.

Hadley’s Sixth Grade Continuation was the perfect amount of celebration and recognition without behind over-the-top (yes, kindergarten graduations with the cap and gown, I’m talking about you). I posted about it on Facebook and Peter, one of my childhood friends, mentioned he remembered me at our Continuation, which I’d kinda forgotten about but how could I forget the one year I swept the awards and came away with the best all-around athlete and scholar in the school?

Yes, sixth grade was the highlight of my academic, sports and social life. Good thing I had coke-bottle glasses and frizz-bomb hair, otherwise it might have gone to my head.

Their Sixth Grade Continuation at Arvada West High School was a surprisingly lovely and fun evening.

The ceremony was going swell until Hadley’s teacher ended her speech with “We wish you all the best as you take on the adventures of middle school.”

This sounded suspiciously like a warning. Let the games begin.

Filed Under: Hadley

How Not To Sell Your House

June 14, 2016 by

In today’s edition of How Not to Sell Your House, I have a doozy.

Last week, we had hope! And then despair! And then more despair!

Remember  my “inspired” answer to prayers:“Madam, this is only a prelude to what you have to suffer.” Welp, it turns out that was pretty prophetic and things have definitely gone south. If you will recall, I really like the NORTH–The farther and whiter the better.

(At least our flowers look pretty)

On Tuesday, our realtor called to tell us we had not one but two people who were going to make an offer on the house, which is more than we ever could have dreamed at this point. And then not one, not two, but ZERO ended up making that offer.

On Wednesday, Jamie noticed our For Sale sign was stolen in broad daylight from our front lawn. Countless realtor friends have told me in all their years in real estate, they have never seen that happen. Welcome to our world. Our realtor has been on vacation and lives in Colorado Springs so Jamie had to spend almost five hours stuck in traffic to get another sign.

And then Friday was Denver’s first heat wave of the year with 95+degree temperatures. I came home from a wonderful and much-needed cooler day in the mountains where I went hiking with my friend Lisa before we picked our daughters up at Outdoor Lab.

Jamie greeted me at the door.

“Don’t swear.”

“Why would I swear?”

“Because of what I’m going to tell you. Our air-conditioning unit went out today.”

You mean that air conditioning unit that has worked perfectly fine the entire time we have lived here and chooses now to break down?

I didn’t swear. At least not out loud. That counts for something, right?

A $1,000+ fix later, we’re back in business.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Hadley’s 12th Birthday “Close to You” Painting Party!

June 13, 2016 by

Hadley is so obsessed with all-things painting that I knew we had to do something creative for her 12th birthday party. There are several fabulous painting/drinking studios but I didn’t want to deal the hassle of driving somewhere so it was a no-brainer when I heard about Gallery on the Go, a mobile canvas painting party service that was started right here in Colorado.

I don’t have an artistic bone in my body so the thought of getting out the craft supplies and cleaning them up makes me cringe. At the time of Hadley’s party, I was juggling sixth grade continuation, putting our house on the market, helping at a wedding reception and four graduation parties, which is a nice way of saying I had no time. 

Do you want to know what I had to do to plan our Gallery on the Go party? I simply told them when to come to my house and Hadley pre-selected what she wanted to paint from the variety of artwork for boys and girls from their gallery. I provided the food and drinks while they supplied everything else–from the table and floor coverings to chairs, aprons, paint, canvases, a fun photo booth, a game and even a gift for the birthday girl!

gallerygood

galleryonthegofun

Carrie, our “Independent Gallery Guide,” was fabulous as she assisted the girls through every brush stroke made even easier with their color-coded brushes while still giving them their own creative outlet. The girls were widely varied in their artistic abilities and all were thrilled with the finished product, thanks to Carrie’s patience and expertise while I stayed hidden on the sidelines.

It was a win-win for everyone.

But the party was just getting started. If you’ll recall, last year I pulled the ultimate prank when a huge birthday package arrived for her from J.B. When she opened the big box, several smaller ones were inside. When she got down to the final box, the girls were squealing “I’ll bet it’s a cell phone.” It was much better: it was a Justin Bieber T-shirt. Hadley was so hilariously mortified she stuffed it in the toilet.

I wondered how I could top J.B.’s celebrity appearance and the inspiration came to me when I heard The Carpenter’s song, “Close to You.” I asked each of her friends to secretly learn the words and they performed it for her, complete with costumes and props.

Rehearsing

I asked my friends at Talk to the Camera to pull together a video for it and I had one requirement: make it cheesy and they delivered. I get teary-eyed watching these great friends (Alex, Addison, Maeve, Morgan, Alicia, Kasey, Ellie and Haley) and I know she’ll treasure this for many years to come…when she gets over her shock.   https://vimeo.com/169764033 Password: Stars

Close To You Hadley from Audrey Walters on Vimeo.

And yes, the Biebs did make a surprise celebrity experience at the end. Unfortunately she didn’t really notice Alex was wearing the shirt until the camera stopped rolling but it would have been footage for the ages.

Happy 12th, my dear!

Filed Under: birthday, Hadley

Where the deer, antelope and reindeer play

June 8, 2016 by

The bad: Someone stole our For Sale sign in broad daylight yesterday.

The good: At least they took a flyer.

And didn’t move our reindeer into a compromising position like they did the last time we were vandalized.

Filed Under: Humor

Lovin’ it as a “Ritz-Kid”

June 7, 2016 by

I wanted to do something special for Hadley’s 12th birthday. Not only will she be moving and starting at a new middle school, but she is leaving our children’s organization at church and entering “Young Women.” She’s at such a tender, transitional age that I wanted to celebrate the beautiful young lady she is becoming.  There was no better way to do it than by  surprising her with her first real spa experience at the Ritz-Carlton Denver, which recently introduced an array of services crafted just for kids and teens.

Upon arrival, Hadley was instructed to change into a robe and slippers. The locker room facilities are only available to ages 18 and older so she got ready in the bathroom and waited for her appointment in the cozy lounge. As she leaned back on the luxurious beige couch sampling chocolate chips, infused water and dried bananas, she mused:

spaday1sm

“Can we do this every day?”
“You haven’t done anything yet.”
“All I need is to sit in this waiting area and I’ll be happy.”

Attention to all parents with hormonal teens: this is all they need!

Her first treatment was the Teen Facial. Specially crafted for teenagers, this cleansing facial helps analyze any concerns with your developing teen’s skin with organic products used to add extra sensitivity protection. I hunkered down in the corner of the dimly-lit room for the duration of the 45-minute treatment trying to stifle my laughter. My girl was in her element as she was swept and blown away in her ultimate experience of relaxation, renewal, and refreshment (if you’ve ever had a facial, you know).

While she was still relaxing on her massage table, I asked what she thought of her first facial.

“I feel heavy,” she groggily announced.
“Heavy? Do you mean from all the blankets?”
“No, heavy like gravity is pulling me down telling me not to move ever again.”

From there, she entered the world of light, The Spa at The Ritz-Carlton’s bright salon, where had the Berries and Bliss Manicure Pedicure. Starting with a warm Butter Brulee Milk soak, she then had her toes and nails rejuvenated with a fresh coat of polish, concluding with a Strawberry Smash Creme application.

As Hadley nibbled on her brownie pops with ganache and fresh berries from ELWAY’S Downtown, the hotel’s signature steak house, she declared it a memorable birthday surprise.

The Spa at The Ritz-Carlton sure does a warm welcome to womanhood.

Filed Under: birthday, Hadley, Humor

House Stress and Sacred Things

June 5, 2016 by

We’re still here. The house still isn’t sold but hope is not lost–we had a second showing today. How do we know that? Our scheduling service called as we were driving home from Stake Conference to tell us we had a showing in a half hour. What? We raced home and did a hack job on picking up the house. Thankfully it was still in good shape from a deeper cleaning we did yesterday but then the couple showed up 15 minutes early and rang the doorbell when they saw our car still in the driveway. We told them we needed a bit more time and they patiently waited on the porch and on the way out mentioned this was their second visit.

And then the scheduling service called us to follow-up and mentioned when the realtor opened the blinds in our bedroom, they fell down and she couldn’t get them back up. Somebody shoot me now.

We’re more than a month into selling the house in an insane, inflated Denver market where people are getting multiple offers within a day of listing their homes. Our main issue has been our neighbor’s lot behind us, which he kindly cleaned up about 10 days ago and it has made a world of difference. The only problem is we’ve had minimal showings since then and it’s painful because our yard is in bloom and looks gorgeous.

After several weeks of spiritual confirmations where we would open our scriptures to receive an outpouring of love and answers, this week has been full of frustration and walls. What are we doing wrong? Are we going on the right direction with this? We already dropped our price but should we doing more? 

We received our monthly copy of The Ensign and I turned immediately to the story Vienna Jaques: Woman of Faith and thought, boy do I need a spiritual boost and to read about a faithful woman.

Vienna Jaques had been in her new home in Jackson County, Missouri, USA, for only six weeks when violence erupted on July 20, 1833. Local residents had demanded that the Latter-day Saints leave the county, but Church leaders demurred to accept. Mobs in the area then attacked Church members and their property.

On that day, 46-year-old Vienna saw the mob tar and feather Edward Partridge, the bishop in Missouri, and Charles Allen. Meanwhile, others demolished the Church’s print shop and threw the printing press and papers out the window, including unbound and incomplete copies of the Book of Commandments. After the attack, Vienna knelt in the dirt road alone, furiously collecting scattered pages of the Book of Commandments. A mobber came over and hovered menacingly over her, declaring, “Madam, this is only a prelude to what you have to suffer.”

I chuckled and closed the magazine. This was my answer? I can guarantee you that was not what I needed to read.  A few days later I went back to read the rest of the article (life did suck for a while but got much better). Turns out, God has a sense of humor.

We fasted today and Stake Conference was full of spiritual feasting that I needed. This evening, we went for one of my favorite walks along the Clear Creek Trail in Golden. We fed the chickens at the Clear Creek History Park. We marveled at the idiots floating down the swollen waters on an inflatable mattress. We threw rocks in the river. We discovered a secret trail away from the crowds

I left feeling refreshed and grateful. This whole process of uprooting a life we love for reasons beyond me has been such a roller-coaster ride and test of faith. I really wouldn’t want to do this alone. Without that comfort. Scriptures. Prayer. Reverence. Guidance. I read a quote today by D. Todd Christofferson that really hit home.

If one does not appreciate holy things, he will lose them. Absent a feeling of reverence, he will grow increasingly casual in attitude and lax in conduct. He will drift from the moorings that his covenants with God could provide. His feeling of accountability to God will diminish and then be forgotten. Thereafter, he will care only about his own comfort and satisfying his uncontrolled appetites. Finally, he will come to despise sacred things, even God, and then he will despise himself.

With a sense of the sacred, one grows in understanding and truth. The Holy Spirit becomes his frequent and then constant companion. More and more he will stand in holy places and be entrusted with holy things. Just the opposite of cynicism and despair, his end is eternal life.

A sense of the sacred cannot really be passed from one person to another. It must grow from within. Think about things in a contemplative way; then the Spirit may work in you so that you will not need anyone to tell you what is sacred or how to respond—you will feel it for yourself. It will be part of your nature; indeed, much of it already is.

Stand in Holy Places. Now, that is the answer I needed.

Filed Under: LDS

The Sonic Guys

June 3, 2016 by

I’m not sure when the tradition started but Jamie has been going to lunch with our neighbor Darrin for a number of years when I’m sure the deep mysteries of the kingdom are discussed.

One day as they were leaving, our neighbor Angella observed “do you know who you remind me of? The two goofy guys in the car in the Sonic commercials.”

And so what did those goofy guys do? They went to Sonic for lunch this week.

  And judging by Sonic’s blooper reel, Angella pretty much nailed her observation.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

The Killing Fields: Sibling Version

June 1, 2016 by

This post is in honor of my lovely children who get along pretty well the majority of the time.

And when they do have altercations, they’re rarely physical and mostly verbal with the occasional threat.

Except for when they’re at our ward’s Summer Olympic Games when a mom friend told me they were full-on beating up each other on the grass, complete with hair-pulling and pushing.

Next time, the story will be they are in training for Greek Wrestling.

Filed Under: Hadley

A Few Weeks (from Hell) in the Life of Fat Kitty

May 31, 2016 by

An Open Letter from Fat Kitty Voicing His Displeasure About Getting Booted During Our House’s Multiple Showings

One day I was snuggling up to my human friends. It was snowy and cold when Human Mother told Human Sister to take me across the street to Grandma Jean’s house.

I don’t like field trips. The only time I like to leave is when I sneak away and I never go far.

The Human Family left me with this stranger with only my blanket and food.

Grandma Jean has two cats. They cornered and sniffed me.

I do not like to be sniffed. Warning: Do not go anywhere near my butt.

I hid under Grandma Jean’s bed for the entire two hours.

When Human Mother and Father came to get me, I would not move for The Betrayers. Betrayer #1 took the broom and poked me until I came out.

That was Day From Hell #1.

The next Day From Hell was even worse because hell was moving.

I think it was called a car and I was in it.

The humans took me to their friend’s fancy house to lock me in their laundry room while they were out of town.

They had a key and the security code but not the instructions how to do it.

The security alarm sounded.

I freaked out and kindly requested to go back to Grandma Jean’s with the butt-sniffing cats.

The cops came.

Human Father held up his arms in the air, holding the key as evidence they were not burglars

The police did not understand my distress signal I sent revealing they are, in actuality, cat burglars.

We drove home and I went to another neighbor’s where I’ve spent lots of time the last few weeks.

I sit on the stairs glaring at the door until my humans come get me.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, SELL YOUR HOUSE AND STOP REHOMING YOUR CAT.

The End.

Love,

Fat Kitty

Filed Under: Humor Tagged With:
« Previous Page
Next Page »