On Translating “Guy Speak”

This weekend we’re heading up to the mountains with some of our favorite neighbors: Andy, Meredith and baby Maddie. This trip has been a long time and coming. Well, only technically two-months-and-coming because we had to cancel our originally-scheduled date back in January due to The Plague. You know. That two-month sickness I may have mentioned once or twice.

We did this same trip last year and it was one of our best family vacations ever. We hope to have a repeat performance but are not ignorant enough to believe the planets could align twice in one lifetime for us. Well, maybe Pluto could perform but we all know what happened to that poor planet.

Against all odds, the weekend is already off to a stellar start. Meredith has been lamenting that we were going to miss The Baby Sale of the Century on Saturday. Y’see, Denver has these cool events a few times a year that are like a gazillion garage sales pooled into one. Women stand in line for hours like vultures waiting to attack. As a non-shopper, I was one of their prey my first time around and am still waiting for the footprints to fade off my back.

Meredith, on the other hand, is of the assailant variety and successfully begged the sale organizer to let us in for the Sneak-a-Peak on Friday night at 7 p.m., well after we were supposed to leave for our trip. And so she called me with a proposal, which I then relayed to Hunky Hubby.

Now, let me preface this by saying Jamie has had a hellacious week at work. The ulcer-inducing kind. And so I approached him with some trepidation.

“Hey, Meredith called and she said we’re able to do the preview.”

Grunt for a response.

“And and and Andy had the brilliant idea that Meredith and I should stay for the sale and drive up afterwards. Then you and Andy could carpool right after work with the kids. You know: a Guy’s Night Out!” You know. Crammed in a car with three irascible and screaming kids for a couple of hours. Party on!

Blank stare.

“So, what do you think? Doesn’t that sound like fun?”

“I’ve just officially hit rock bottom.”

“So, I’ll take that as a yes?….”

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