Police Beat Pulitzers

Introducing my Saturday delight: the Police Beat! I’m not obsessed, really. But imagine my excitement when they also included favorites from 2005. I’m nominating the column’s writer for the equivalent of the Police Beat Pulitzer. Whatever that may be. Talk ’bout great writing!

“A Wheat Ridge police officer witnessed a man leaving a trail or urine as he walked through a grocery store parking lot… In defense of his mobile urination he said he had to “go real bad” but did not want to enter the grocery store. He was issued a summons for public urination.”

“Wheat Ridge police were called to check on a crying, naked man on July 9th.” Note: I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. It shouldn’t be surprising that drugs were involved….

“A thirsty man who may have self-esteem issues was reported to police for harassing residents. The suspect rang the doorbell , brandishing some sort of identification card. He then repeatedly said, ‘Tell me how obnoxious I am.’ He continued talking, inquiring as to whether it as his hair or the way he dressed that made him obnoxious.”

And for all you weight-loss challenge/sweat hogs out there, this one’s for you:
“An unhappy member of a fitness club reportedly threatened to blow up the facility.”

Hmmmmm, can anyone relate?….

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