The Hurricane

I’ve had several inquiries regarding The Children so I deemed this a good time to give some updates. More specifically, the questions were regarding my coping abilities with Said Children. I am happy to report that things are much better with them. Most specifically Hadley’s issues have been abated regarding her tantrums over everything we did, said or even thought. Yep, the kid is even a mind reader. That’s tough competition.

These days, we’ve been busy hiking, going for walks and throwing tea parties for Grandma and Grandpa (though I’m still ticked that stupid duck got all the good cookies). Oh, and pouring cash into marketing money pits for kids (otherwise known as Thomas the Train). Fortunately, we are not the suckers on the latter point but it was Grandma who paid $16 a ticket to ride around in Thomas for a whopping 15 minutes on Saturday. This is why grandparents have been put on the earth.

Of course, things had to hit rock bottom first before they got better and everything bottomed out a couple of weekends ago. After the obstinate little thing spent pretty much the entire day in timeout, Jamie and I decided we needed an intervention. Obviously, discipline wasn’t working so we tried an approach you’ll find only in Amber’s Guide to Toddler Tantrums: we stuffed her with sugar and transfats. Simply translated: we set her loose at McDonald’s.

And do you know what? It worked and she’s been much more manageable ever since. The prospect of ordering anything she wanted was the highlight.

“Shake shake?” she queried.


“French fries and hamburger?” (toddler translation: “Not those sorry excuses for fast food: apple dippers and grilled chicken, right?”)

“Anything you want!”

Fortunately, she stopped there and didn’t press her luck, like the time when she special-requested “Naked Boys.” Last I checked, they weren’t on the menu, though it did give a disturbing glimpse into the dark recesses of those Playland tunnels….

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