Thursday Twelvish

My switch from MSN to Blogger this week has been rather eye-opening. Every hosting service has its own culture and I have felt the same awkwardness as I did the first day of junior high when I showed up with my asymmetrical haircut. Of course, anyone whose mother gets the same haircut as her 12-year-old daughter a few days prior is bound to cause such insecurities.

Case in point: what’s up with all these “blogrolls?” And why are the days of the week dedicated unto some theme or cause? The most perplexing of these is the Thursday Thirteen. I mean, what’s the point? What if I wanted to count down instead of up like Letterman’s Top 10? And what if I only had 12 things to say? Would I be shunned from the popular Thursday Thirteen club?

And so, even though I’m not an official member, here is my first (and possibly only) offering.

Amber’s Thursday Twelve:
Reasons Why I Am Ready to Give Birth
(not exactly a topic you’d see at your everyday junior high)

12. I have progressed beyond the “Isn’t she a cute pregnant lady” to “Won’t somebody pul-ease put her out of her misery?”

11. The only reason a person should carry a towel around is when going to the beach. Not out of fear your water is going to break again in a very public place.

10. I’m already on a newborn schedule by bonding with Junior all night long as he bounces on my bladder.

9. Hunky Hubby’s not-so subtle hints about how HE could selflessly help induce labor. What a giver.

8. When I no longer view XXX as some perverse lifestyle but rather, my clothing size of choice.

7. When little old ladies offer to assist you in the grocery store.

6. My newfound feelings of confidence with being a mother to An Angel Child. I need another one to help humble and remind me that I know nothing.

5. Pregnancy + 100-degree + woosy Canadian roots do not mix. The neighbors are filing indecent exposure complaints from having to watch me waddle around my house in my undies. XXX ones.

4. Even Castor oil won’t motivate this kid to come out. And yes, it tastes just as crappy as everyone says it does.

3. When Jamie has to sleep downstairs due to the frostbite conditions in the bedroom (three fans + air-conditioning)

2. When you start looking forward to dieting.

1. When the ultimate compliment Jamie could ever give me is not that I’m beautiful or smart but the one he gave the other day: that I looked “less puffy.”

Now, THAT’S love….

Other Posts