Grumpy Old Woman

October 21, 2009 By

Mom Canuck always said if you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all.

Which is why I’m not saying much this week.

I had to postpone Haddie’s annual Halloween bash because this plague is still leveling me and I haven’t slept in days.

Does bronchitis feel like death? If so, I think I’m suffering from both.

Speaking of death, we were sad to hear of the passing of our friend (and bishop) Darrin’s grandfather. Of course, he was likely in his late 80s and such a passing is to be celebrated. Since Jamie and I have been so near death the past few weeks, we discussed our ideal age to meet the grave.

Me: “I want to live until I’m 89. Only if I’m healthy, of course.”

Jamie: “No way. 85 tops.”

Me: “Yeah, you’re right. You’re going to be a grumpy old man.”

Jamie (glaring at me): “I wonder why.”

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On another note: what do you do when you’re bored out of your mind and can’t sleep all night?

The Monster Mash, of course.

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Note: Family Member #5 is the kitty that will be joining our family next week. That’s blog fodder just waiting to happen.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Health, holidays, Humor, Jamie Tagged With:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

October 20, 2009 By

So, we’re still sick. Jamie’s hospital X-rays finally came back, disproving the pneumonia theory and likely pointing in the direction of H1N1. Fortunately, we’ve survived the worst and are no longer I-can’t-drag-my-body-out-of-bed kinda sick but more like the walking dead. We’re back in school and life and are no longer contagious but the lingering cough and fatigue are pretty darn miserable.

Plus, we’ve been busy helping my in-laws pack for their big move next week, which ain’t exactly helping in the Rest and Recovery process.

Of course life with The Children is never dull, especially when you have Hadley around who is the very antithesis of boring. While snuggled up before bedtime, we had the following conversation.

Me: I want to hear the best and worst things that happened to everyone today.

Jamie: The worst thing that happened to me was when Hadley ate my ice cream.

Me: Oh. Anyone else?

Hadley: My best thing was when I ate Daddy’s ice cream.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Jamie

When Your Boat Gets Rocked

October 19, 2009 By

I grew up in the land of the “True, North, Strong and Freezing.”

OK, so maybe I edited Canada’s national anthem just a wee bit.

I love my hometown Calgary. I always will. When I left to come to college in the United States, a part of me knew I would never live there again. I was OK with that but every time I return home, something pulls at my heartstrings and I want to move back.

Until I endure a millisecond of their excruciatingly long winters.

My next love was Salt Lake City. I moved there after graduation and had the time of my life as a swingin’ single. I ran mountain trails, backpacked the desert, dated a lot, found myself and established a great career as a publicist in Utah’s travel and tourism industry.

And then I met Mr. Lord of the Gourds, my greatest love of all.

He lived in Denver and I fell in love with the packaged deal immediately. When we sat down to decide upon where we would live, three things sealed our fate: he lived in a fabulous city, had a great job and his wonderful parents were nearby. I packed up everything I had worked so hard to build in Utah and never looked back.

Until now.

Jamie’s parents are moving to Utah to live near the majority of our extended family. They put their house on the market early-September and it was sold a few weeks later. They will be gone by the end of the month.

They have been such an integral part of our children’s lives and this has completely rocked our boat. I had envisioned we would live and die in Denver. I love Colorado and we had everything we needed. But now, a very important part of the “everything” formula is leaving and I’m left to rethink our status.

Could we someday move back to Utah? Would we be as happy there as we are here?

These are answers I never thought I would even ask. I had left it all behind. And now here I am lately thinking about all my friends and former employers. How I would love to go back and explore all my old haunts with my three great loves in tow.

Of course, these are all just “what ifs” but after living with “this is it” the last seven years of our marriage, it is unsettling to me.

And so I turn to you: Is this it for you? Are you living where you want to be? How important is it to be close to family? And no, I’m not going anywhere for a good long while. :-)

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Canada, Family

A happy ending to a sad, sad tale

October 14, 2009 By

The Johnson clan is FINALLY on the mend. Of course, we’re not fully recovered enough to go on an epic backpacking trip this weekend to Coyote Gulch with friends Dave and Rebecca that we have been planning for MONTHS.

Serious bummer.

We barely left the house all week but braved the cold and snow to attend our town’s scarecrow festival last Saturday. Like the mythical phoenix borne out of ashes, there was a happy ending to The Great Pumpkin Massacre of 2009. Haddie and Bode’s pumpkin didn’t have a leaf on it after the hail storm but it rebounded over the course of a month and Jamie finally got it to pollinate on August 31.

We only had about two weeks of good growing weather and Jamie cut it off the vine a few days before the competition. Or rather, I should say he dragged his sick family out in the cold and snow to witness the vine-cutting ceremony.

Because surely this momentous occasion could not have waited an extra hour for the snow to subside.


And The Great Phoenix Pumpkin’s final weight? 85.5 pounds. This is 0.5 pounds bigger than Haddie’s pumpkin last year with a growing season that was cut in half. It was starting to turn orange but was never on the vine long enough to fully convert. Some picture-perfect moments:


Father and daughter in their matching pumpkin geek hats:


Their pumpkin was the second biggest in the children’s division. Haddie and Bode received a ribbon and they took home a $30 gift certificate. For some families, their trophy case looks like this.

Sadly, this is only a small sampling of ours.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family, Hadley, holidays, Jamie, pumpkins Tagged With:

The truth: revealed

October 13, 2009 By

So, I’m curious to hear what your experiences with Parent-Teacher Conferences have been?

I am meeting with Hadley’s beloved kindergarten teacher today for our first meeting. I’m not sure of what to expect but am not too worried because Hadley is shockingly well behaved in the classroom. She only ever had one *incident* in preschool.

And then she suffered Abuse By Carbs.

When I scheduled the appointment, I mentioned it to Jamie.

Me: You should come to Hadley’s Parent-Teacher Conference with me.

Jamie: I’m not taking the blame.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Jamie

It’s my party and I’ll blog if I want to!

October 12, 2009 By

October marks my official 4-year anniversary in the blogosphere. On a whim, I started my personal blog Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck on MSN Spaces in October 2005. None of my friends of family understood what it was.

“A blob? Why would you want to start a blob?”

Or “don’t you think it’s a bit narcissistic to think people will want to read about your life?”

From Day 1, I obsessed over what should I write. I carried a notebook with me as everything (and everyone) in my life became blog fodder.

And then I got my first comment. From a stranger. I was initially confused. Why would this fellow blogger care about my little corner of the world? Slowly, I got it. This corner was part of a growing community of fellow freaks who shared their intimate details online.

And then I became hooked.

The following year, I switched over to this more personalized site at Blogger and a true “mommy blogger” was born. You have been my little community of mamas. You have come to my blog, I have come to years. It has been legalized stalking and vicarious living at its best. We *get* each other. There is no sugar-coating motherhood like I had endured at countless playdates.

But then the blogosphere evolved

READ ON

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor

Les Miserables, Denver Style

October 7, 2009 By

So, we’re sick.

If I had a $1 for every time I started a blog post with that, I would be a wealthy woman. About four weeks ago, I had a cold for a few days. Jamie caught it from me and has battled it ever since.

The kicker was when he went to Oregon last weekend for (what else) a pumpkin weigh-off. The day he flew home, I cooked, I cleaned, I doted on his children. I was the ultimate 1950s housewife waiting to greet him wearing a frilly apron and with a feather duster in hand.

OK, more like a fleece pullover and iPhone. We ARE in 2009.

What did Jamie bring me?

Pneumonia.

Yes, my friends he has pneumonia. He went to the doctor yesterday and he paid the hospital a visit today to get some X-rays because his condition had worsened.

Here’s the great thing about working for yourself: unlimited days off when you’re sick.

Here’s the bad thing: you don’t get paid.

Not even 5 minutes after he left for the hospital, a reporter from Channel 4 who interviewed me last week called to see if I could do a last-minute interview about how the FTC’s new ruling impacts bloggers.

I had only a very surface knowledge of that 81-page ruling.

My house was a mess. Bode was poopy. After straightening everything and everyone up, I literally had 5 minutes to become an expert on it.

All I can say is good thing it wasn’t live TV. Editing is a beautiful thing.

Oh, and they did a teaser for my segment on a commercial break DURING OPRAH.

It may be the the closet I’ll ever come to her.

So, poor Jamie is currently passed out upstairs, Bode has a runny nose and Hadley and I are both battling sore throats.

At least it isn’t lice, right?

So, here’s my question: are you a suffer-in-silence type or do you need someone babying you the entire time? Jamie and I are a bit of both. We check to see if the other is alive and leave ‘em alone to wallow in their misery!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Health, Humor, Jamie

The Wienermobile: The Ultimate Vehicle for Wacky Family Bonding

October 5, 2009 By

I get to do a lot of cool things through my job such as the time my family got an all-access pass at Disneyland or when we got an exclusive tour of the National Museum of Natural History.

OK, so may we didn’t actually do these things but we recently experienced something equally as life-altering:

My family rode in the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

My first encounter with this 27-foot-long hot dog on wheels was last summer when I rode “shotbun” at a blogging conference in Chicago. I stayed in touch with the publicists via Twitter and was delighted to hear it would be visiting a King Soopers near my house.

As an FYI, there are six Wienermobiles that travel the nation extolling the virtues of processed meat (and making middle-aged women’s dreams come true). At most events, the Wienermobile’s doors remain closed to prevent wear and tear but the PR reps told me if we arrived at the end of the shift, we could get a ride.

I recruited 5-year-old Hadley but she was initially a naysayer.

“How can we ride in a giant hot dog, Mommy?”

Screw Disneyland. The Wienermobile is where the impossible becomes a reality.

Hadley and I arrived on schedule and we were welcomed by Wiernermobile staffers Adam and Crystal. We transported Haddie’s booster seat, put on her “meatbelt,” looked up at the “bunroof” and were on our way.

“Where to?” Adam queried.
“Any chance we could drive by my house so my husband can see it? We live less than a mile away!”

He responded affirmatively and I immediately called Jamie. “YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS THIS SO GET OUTSIDE NOWWWW.”
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We arrived a few minutes later to father and son waiting on the curb in anticipation. They were delighted when Adam offered them a ride as well. As Jamie raced to get Bode’s car seat, I peeked around hoping for even one curious neighbor to witness my metamorphosis from geek to chic.

The street was abandoned.

In the end, it didn’t matter. We cruised around, “ketch(ing)up” on all the Wienermobile news. As corny as it was, it was one of the great bonding moments in our wacky family history and a reminder that sometimes the most valuable moments are not extravagant trips to Disneyland.

But rather simple ones we can truly “relish” together.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, travel
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