When the world is your slimy, disgusting sea urchin

May 27, 2010 By

Thanks to Haddie’s many well-wishers on my blog and on Facebook. Her 6th birthday was a magical one.

Note: I did not say her actual birthday party. I will write about that once I can muster up the strength to relive it. A summary?

25 kids= my nervous breakdown.

Hadley is still at a glorious age when even the simplest things delight her.

Well, with the exception of our recent trip to Glenwood Springs. We were admittedly spoiled during ski season and stayed in some gorgeous cabins and two-bedroom condos. When we walked into our hotel room at the Glenwood Hot Springs, she set down her luggage, looked around and proclaimed,

“Hmmm…kind of funny they don’t have a kitchen.”

This is her way of saying her future husband had better be wealthy.

That said, she is still delightfully unsoiled in the ways of the world. She doesn’t covet the best toys or clothes and I’ve never once heard her utter she is bored. Laughter, innocence and friends surround her as the world is her oyster.

Nevermind that the kid can’t fathom the thought of sticking one of those slimy sea urchins in her mouth.

Friends and family showered her with clothes, books and crafts. By far, her favorite was her gift from Grandma B: Twinkletoe shoes that she has been prancing around in all week. My friend Dana sent me this poem that fits the bill perfectly.

Now We are Six

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five,
I was just alive.
But now I am Six,
I’m as clever as clever,
So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.

by A. A. Milne

At 6 and almost 4, I have to same I am thoroughly enjoying my children. This has not always been the case.

See the entirety of my blog for sordid details.

And so my question for you is this: at what ages have you most enjoyed your children? What ages have been the most difficult for you?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family travel, Hadley, Humor

Happy 6th Birthday to the Hurricane

May 25, 2010 By

Dearest Hadley,

Happy 6th birthday! I’ll admit it: I debated skipping my annual birthday letter for you due to our crazy schedule but realized I treasure being able to look back upon the high- and low-lights of your previous years.

And also because my memory sucks and I’ll soon be like an old granny who croaks out, “Hadley was five? Don’t they go to kindergarten around that age?”

This was the Year of the Cat. In fact, in your eyes, you never really lived until Remy came into your life and mommy refers to those days as B.C. (Before Cat). We got Remy in October as a band-aid to help ease the pain of your Grandma and Grandpa unceremoniously ditching us moving to Utah. From Day 1, he has been your end-all, be-all. He is patient, snuggly, loving and obese (hence his nickname “Fat Kitty.”)

One morning when we were snuggled up in my bed, I opened up the window but kept the blinds partially drawn. In a decidedly ambitious move for a Fat Kitty, Remy made a move to hop up on the window sill…and would have been successful had he not slammed into the blinds like a fly on a windshield.

You and mommy hysterically laughed whiled he slunked away. It was then I just knew we would have many wonderful bonding years making fun of your father and brother. In a word?

PUMPKIN.

Kindergarten was kind to you. You adore your glamorous teacher Ms. Pancoast and are learning to read and write. You are one of the best artists in your class and are thrilled to attend a week-long art camp this summer.

Math, on the other hand, completely baffles you. One day after a particularly frustrating attempt at teaching you numbers, Daddy shared his epiphany with me:

“Amber, do you know what her problem is? She has my lack of aptitude for math and she has your lack of patience.”

This is just his nice way of saying you are doomed.

You’ve never been one to waste your time on woosy dolls and would rather spend hours playing with your umpteen stuffed animals and dinosaurs. You recently learned to ride your bike and just last week you conquered The Big Hill near our house. Your sass and imagination help you concoct vivid tales and ghost stories. And don’t even get me started with just how competitive you are whilst playing Super Mario on the Wii.

Your brother has the battle wounds to prove it.

Last year, you took a dance class at school (moderately enjoyable), two sessions of skating lessons (double axel is for amateurs) and absolutely kicked butt on the ski slopes (watch out Lindsey Vonn). In fact, skiing is the one sport you are passionate about and are already skiing intermediate-level runs.

You adore traveling and announced you want to travel the world with me when you’re 16. I got you a globe for Christmas and we love plotting our route. The boys are, of course, invited. But only if they can get over this pumpkin obsession.

And so long as they don’t mind being mocked–like a fat cat on a windscreen.

Here’s to many wonderful adventures in the year ahead, my beloved Hurricane Hadley.

Love,
Mommy


P.S. For a stroll down memory lane, read birthday letters 5, 4, 3, or 2.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

I really really need your opinion

May 23, 2010 By

I’ve got the kindergarten blues.

And no, I don’t plan to put my sorrows to rap music.

I have a major decision I’m trying to make but I need as much feedback as possible. Please weigh-in!!

=====================

With summer break on the horizon next week, I can almost say I survived my daughter’s first year of kindergarten.

And am fretting about my son’s entrance into it.

Why would I do such a thing when he is only 3? The reason is simple: I already feel pressured to make major decisions on his behalf. When he was born in July of 2006, I figured he was well within the range for the mid-September cut-off for when he could attend school. I enrolled him in our local preschool last September and he has loved it. He is doing great learning the alphabet and is at the top of his class of 3 to 5-year-olds in math.

It’s a good thing, too because I am counting on him doing our taxes in a few years.

He still has one year left of preschool and then I planned to enroll him in kindergarten the following year. Until all the naysayers started pressuring me.

“Do you really want READ ON

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Uncategorized

A glorious, glorious spring in Denver (with a warning for summer)

May 21, 2010 By

So, we’ve been busy:

Getting drenched at our two-week-long soccer clinic. Hadley won the award for the most stretched-out pants.


It came in the form of a plumber’s crack.

Catching Fat Kitty in compro*mising positions.


Discovering a nest of baby robins and charting their daily growth…


…while trying to avoid getting pecked by protective Mama Robin.

Road-tripping to Glenwood Springs!


(Trip report forthcoming).

Hiking Lookout Mountain and getting an urgent phone call from your husband once you reach the summit that you needed to rush home ASAP. Not because one of the kids is dead or maimed but…


…so you can take care of your third child: The Great Pumpkin.

Impromptu evening play in the sprinklers with neighborhood besties.


Cuz 55-degree weather counts as downright balmy for these Colorado kids.

Finally having the courage to bike down The Big Hill to our soon-to-be-completed playground.


And smack-talking the neighborhood boys about how fast you did it. You know. Those same freaks of athletic nature who ditched the training wheels when they were 2.

Falling in love with Caleb at Field Day.


The same boy you said you would someday marry “because he’s a good listener.”

And running Mommy so ragged that she waved the white flag and exclaimed, “That’s it, I AM IN SERIOUS NEED OF A BREAK!”

And summer break is not the answer.

Now that school is winding down, what has been keeping you busy?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Jamie

Bode’s public speaking debut

May 18, 2010 By

Life is going full-throttle and will continue at warp speed until summer vacation begins in a couple of weeks. Haddie’s birthday bash is this weekend, followed by her actual birthday next Tuesday. We recently returned from a fabulous weekend in Glenwood Springs and did I mention the big Mile High Mamas event I’m in charge of at the Children’s Musem of Denver tomorrow night?

Whew. Venting does have its therapeutic advantages.

One highlight of my week was when Bode gave his first talk in church on Sunday. When children are 3 they enter Primary, a children’s organization where they have lessons, a community sharing time and fun singing hour. And then there are talks. Every child is asked to present a talk to his peers at least once a year and speaking for the first time is a big rite-of-passage.

I would like to say we prepped Bode for weeks leading up to his first talk but that would be a lie.

The truth? I remembered after we put him to bed on Saturday night. I raced down to the computer, cranked out his talk on baptism and Jamie woke him up to run through it.

And yes, we usually live life on the fly like this. If you had any question, you must be a newbie to this mommy blog.

Bode groggily repeated the talk and fell back asleep. He is not one who enjoys getting up in front of a crowd (as opposed to his spotlight-craving sister’s first talk). So, the next morning, I prepped him.

“Be sure to talk directly into the microphone.”
“Speak clearly and slowly so people can hear you.”
“Be sure to remember to smile!”

I thought we had our bases covered and I promised to bring his beloved orange Webkinz cat Tabby to watch.

Bode didn’t even look nervous when he went to the podium. The microphone wasn’t working so Jamie crouched behind him and told him to speak loudly. Bode took one look at me and then proceeded to fold his arms, close his eyes, bow his head and give his talk. My first thought was “What is he doing?” And then I realized the poor kid thought he was saying a prayer.

Jamie was so intent on helping him that he didn’t realize Bode’s eyes were closed. By the time Jamie had him correct course, the adults at the back of the room were doubled over trying to stifle their laughter. But the damage was done. For the rest of the talk, Bode shied away and refused to look at the audience. All my public-speaking tips were thrown to the wayside.

Not that I can blame the kid. He is, after all, only 3 and speaking to a room full of people would be pretty darn intimidating.

Maybe for my next public speaking tutorial, I’ll just tell him to keep his eyes closed.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor, LDS

How the blind led the blonde on the Braille Trail (and a guide to Denver’s mountain parks)

May 17, 2010 By

Snow in May?!!

Let’s face it: very few people welcomed our winter blast last week with the exception of a few hearty souls like me. I am admittedly dysfunctional in that when it snows, all I want to do is ski, hike or run in it.

Either that or I’m just Canadian.

After I bundled up my kids and sent them to school, I headed to the hills on Wednesday. Destination: The Braille Trail. Located in Genesse, this hike is a small cut of paradise in Denver’s largest mountain park. My kids and I have hiked most of the trails along Denver’s front range with the exception of this one. I figured the 1-mile loop through a wooded grove would be perfect for a snowy day.

The Braille Trail’s access is off the Chief Hosa Exit 153 on I-70. My directions then told me to turn right on Stapleton Drive and follow it 1 mile until I found the trailhead for the Braille Trail and Beaver Brook.

I exited, I followed and I found nothing. The road dead-ended at a gate so I looped back around on the slick road and retraced my route several times. Still nothing. After several minutes, I concluded the trailhead just wasn’t there because I’m pretty darn good at reading signs.

Map interpretation? An entirely different matter.

Not to be dissuaded from getting a workout, I parked my car by a log outhouse and hiked down a steep ravine.

When you live my life, you’re all about improvisation.

I tromped through the snow for a few minutes until I ran into a road and saw a sign in the distance.

THE sign.

I raced over to it and sure enough, the Braille Trail’s access was located further down the road behind the gate that was still closed for the season.

I trekked around the loop, following the waist-high guide wire that was designed for blind hikers. There many interpretive signs were buried in snow so I made up my own such as “Pine Tree Ensconced by Snow” and “Irascible black bird whining about the weather.”

I just know I have a future as a naturalist.

The wooded trail was a perfect romp for young children and I vowed to bring mine back when the weather cleared and the gate opened for the season.

And yes, the irony of my inability to find the “Braille Trail” was not lost on me.

==================

Guide to Denver Mountain Parks

Winter Park Resort
Opened for the 1939-40 ski season, Winter Park offers year-round activities on its three interconnected mountain peaks, including
skiing, snowboarding, hiking and mountain biking.
52 miles from downtown Denver / I-70 exit 232

Summit Lake Park
The highest city park in the U.S., Summit Lake provides pristine natural beauty at 13,000 feet, near the peak of Mt. Evans. Arctic
and alpine tundra make up the park’s 160 acres, including a natural lake. Park visitors pay a fee to the U.S. Forest Service at the base of the scenic road, which supports maintenance and improvements at Summit Lake.
52 miles from downtown Denver / I-70 exit 240

Echo Lake Park
Echo Lake Park is nestled in a glacially-formed hanging valley at 10,600 feet in elevation. A shelter house and picnic facilities are near
the lake. The Echo Lake Lodge, open seasonally May – September, was built from native rock and timber. Views of the lake, lodge, and Mt. Evans are truly majestic.
46 miles from downtown Denver / I-70 exit 240

Dedisse Park
Dedisse Park is a beautiful 420-acre park nestled just outside Evergreen. The 35-foot high Evergreen Dam, completed in 1928,
creates the 55-acre Evergreen Lake. In 1925, part of the park became Colorado’s first mountain golf course, Evergreen Golf Course. Eat at historic Keys on the Green.
29 miles from downtown Denver / I-70 exit 252

Newton Park
A craggy peak looms over this special events park near Conifer, available only by reservation. Groups can be accommodated at
three shelters.
37 miles from downtown Denver

Genesse Park
The first and biggest park in the DMP system, Genesee features recreation opportunities like a ropes course, hiking, camping,
volleyball, and bison viewing. Summer public camping is offered at Chief Hosa Campground, and the Chief Hosa Lodge and historic CCC shelter are available for events. Challenging hikers since 1917, the Beaver Brook Trail’s west trailhead is also in north Genesee Park.
20 miles from downtown Denver / I-70 exits 253 (chief hosa camp and lodge) & 254 (park & bison)

Buffalo Bill Grave & Museum
This site hosts the grave of the legendary showman William F. “Buffalo Bill” Cody. By his request, Buffalo Bill was buried on Lookout Mountain in 1917, overlooking the Great Plains and the Rockies. Feel the breezes from the high peaks of the Continental Divide, smell the Ponderosa pines, and see the incredible Cody Collection at the museum.

Red Rocks Park & Ampitheatre
Red Rocks Park, along the eastern slope of the Rocky Mountains, is named for the towering 300-foot sandstone formations within its 804 acres. The park also boasts a 200-mile panoramic view of Denver and the plains. Extensive hiking trails and natural areas surround the geologic formations. The Visitor Center has a restaurant, gift shop, and park interpretation.
15 miles from downtown Denver / I-70 exit 259

Daniels Park
Most of Daniels Park is a bison preserve and natural area where visitors can view the animals in a high-plains habitat. The shelter
house and picnic areas offer a 100-mile panoramic view of the mountains. The historic Martin ranch buildings are a Denver Landmark Historic District.
20 miles from downtown denver / i-25 exit 188

For additional information, go to DenverMountainParks.org.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, hiking, Humor, travel

The Best of Denver (and the worst of it, too)

May 13, 2010 By

I was recently contacted by a reporter for the Westword, a weekly magazine in Denver. Once upon a time, they were great supporters in helping me solicit votes during the Pandering for Vancouver days (otherwise known as the Office Winter Games Contest). I’m sure their interview is what clinched me the win.

That, and the countless wonderful people in my life who voted for me.

Last month, they contacted me again and asked to interview me for their popular “Best of Denver” edition. Note: I am not the “Best of Denver.” I only know about places that are.

I never actually saw the magazine because we were on Spring Break in Park City but found the article online when I was doing a search for another project I had worked on.

Ahhh, gimme a break. Like you never Google your name.

I was excited to be interviewed with some notable Denver characters (the online version is here).

 

Amber JohnsonAmber Johnson is a professional mama, so professional that she makes her living doing it. The 38-year-old Johnson not only founded the Mile High Mamas blog, which she now operates for the Denver Post, but she also runs a home-based social media marketing company that does work for ski areas and promotions for big brands like Nintendo and Frigidaire. And earlier this year, she was picked — and then hired — by Microsoft to blog about the Olympics from Vancouver. Her site, www.crazybloggincannuck.com, is still active, and will be throughout the year while she helps Microsoft promote Office 2010.

Not a bad gig for a Canadian native who loves the outdoor life so much that Denver’s REI flagship store is her favorite place in town.

“It’s my happy place, no lie,” says Johnson, who lives in Arvada with her husband and two toddlers, Hadley and Bode. “They have a play area on the top floor which is near the clearance areas, so the kids will play while I shop.” Afterward, Johnson likes to take the family for walks through Confluence Park, to watch the kayakers, and up the Platte, either via trolley or on foot, to the Denver Children’s Museum.”

Her other favorite walking tour begins at Little Man Ice Cream, continues through the playground across the street, and then goes across the 16th Street Pedestrian Bridge to see Denver’s infamous “National Velvet” sculpture. “There are so many cool walking areas in Denver that we do that as often as we can,” she says.

 

They were overly complimentary and I feel honored to be included. However, there were three blaring missteps that need to be addressed:

1) Calling me a “professional mom.”

2) Refusing to lie about my age like I recommended.

3) Misspelling my blog name. Last I checked, “canuck” only had one “n.”

Just another reason why Canadians are treated like second-class citizens in this country.

Note #2: Ignore the fact that we’re not actually citizens.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Colorado, Favorite Posts, Humor

‘Tis the season (of banging your head against the wall during a 48-hour period)

May 11, 2010 By

The Johnson clan had planned to go out of town last weekend but we learned Thursday evening there was a mix-up in dates and our trip was switched to June. And so we did what any normal, sane family would do: ransacked our house and had a garage sale 24 hours later.

OK, that would be abnormal and insane.

Now that we know we’re not having any additional children, I have had a nagging feeling we needed to finally sell all the baby items we’ve been holding onto. Storage space is limited at our house and what little we have was filled with boxes upon boxes of clothing and every piece of furniture and toy imaginable.

Think I’m joking? I invited some friends over to buy some clothes the Friday afternoon before the sale.

In case you couldn’t spot them, they’re over there in the corner.

Our friend Karl and his wife Connie dropped by to pick out some clothes for their baby. Something you should know about Karl–he lives in a small two-bedroom condo. When he walked into the eye of the hurricane on Friday, he looked around and queried, “How is this even possible?”

It was then that I taught him some very elementary math. The equation?

Grandma X 2.

In the early years, both grandmas showered Hadley in particular with the most darling outfits. I have not been nostalgic about getting rid of any of their toys or furniture but as I saw people walking off with her adorable clothes? There were some mama moments and I ended up saving some of my favorites to give to her when she becomes a mom.

And maybe, just maybe, I was offended when people overlooked some of her cuter selections. Did they not have any sense of taste?

A few things this mommy blogger learned at the garage sale:

1) Do not pull it together in 24 hours. Duh.

2) Do not advertise questionable materials on Craiglist. Case in point: Jamie posted some of his err…grow equipment. His clientele? Let’s just say when I saw these sketchy dudes coming toward us I knew they weren’t in the market for a pack ‘n play.

3)People do not tell the truth at garage sales. We sold our 9-person tent because, welp, it’s for 9 people and it was tough to find a campsite big enough for it. We plan to buy a smaller tent and reattempt camping with the kiddos. I say reattempt because every family camping trip we have had has been a disaster (case in point here).

That is why I had to chuckle at the sign Jamie made for the tent:

Liar.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family, Humor

Top 10: How you know your husband is obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin

May 10, 2010 By

With Mother’s Day behind us, let us turn our attention to the men in our lives. I adore mine. He is a doting husband, attentive father and brilliant businessman. The only weakness I’ve found in him happens to weigh 1,000 pounds* and consumes most of his spare time.

So in honor of him and fathers everywhere:

Top 10: How You Know Your Husband is Obsessed with Growing The Great Pumpkin

10) You sneak up on your husband on the computer and the only lurid sites you have to worry about him viewing are BigPumpkins.com and his pumpkin blog DenverPumpkins.com.

9) While most people are making their pilgrimage to the local garden center with the intention of planting food they can eat, your husband is prepping the soil for his inedible 1,000-pound fruit.

8) During the off-season, your husband has a grow room reminiscent of certain other sketchy growers.

7) a)Your family vacations are planned around The Great Pumpkin and you are banned from taking trips during the two-week pollination period. b) He refuses to join you on a family vacation to visit HIS family because it means too much time away from The Great Pumpkin.

6) Your husband builds hoop houses that contain heaters to shield The Great Pumpkin from the early-season weather.

5) Your husband carries around a digital temperature gauge and even sleeps next to it so he can constantly monitor the temperature in the hoop houses.

4) The only designer item you possess from Italy is his hail netting.

3) You become a widow for the duration of pumpkin season as your husband spends at least an hour a day and many weekends in the patch.

2) Your husband convinces you to invite all your friends to have a Pumpkin Party to commemorate the official vine cutting. And they like it.

1) You discover the most random things, in the most random places. From this in your guest bathroom window….

To your nice dinner plates covered in muck on the floor of your car. And when you confront him?

“Jamie, can you please explain why there were dirt-covered plates in my car?”

“Yeah, because I put dirt-covered plates in your car.”

At least he’s not in denial.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, pumpkins

Evidence I actually have three children

May 6, 2010 By

I have been working a lot with Hadley on reading and numbers lately. She has progressed leaps and bounds with the former but the latter?

Let’s just say I’ll never put her in charge of our finances.

The smartest girl in class is named Mia. Hadley divulged Mia’s smarts secret: “Do you know her mommy won’t let her play or watch TV until all her schoolwork is done?”

She sounded no less appalled than if she had revealed Mia was actually a teen-aged boy parading around as a kindergartner.

Hadley is a competitive little thing so we often talk about Mia and what it would take to get to be smart like her. Jamie joined in on the conversation once.

Hadley: “I think she practices reading for an hour every day.”
Me: “Well, that explains why she’s at least at a second grade reading level.”
Jamie (scoffing): “A second grade reading level? That’s not impressive. That’s what I’m at.”

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I compiled a gift guide for Denver moms at Mile High Mamas last week. As I was going through my choices, many of my recommendations came from thoughtful and romantic things Jamie has done for me during our marriage. Feeling suddenly inadequate that I don’t do enough for him, I whipped up a batch of his favorite cookies. When he walked in the door, he exclaimed:

“Wow, buttterscotch oatmeal cookies?”

“Jamie, you do so much around here that this is just a simple thanks.”

“Yes! Just the other day I picked something up off the floor!”

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There is no greater obsession in our home than Super Mario on our Nintendo Wii. If anyone has ever wondered if sibling rivalry is dead, they need to watch my kids duke it out. Evidently, the stakes are high because at one point, Hadley abruptly stopped the game and exasperatedly looked at her brother.

“Bode, I need you to put the Wii remote down, come over here, and visualize yourself winning.”

Nice to see all my sports psychology sessions are rubbing off on her.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Jamie, Marriage
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