A Mommy Blogger Warning to Men Everywhere

Tad is dead.

It was only a matter of time given the circumstances he was to endure in this mortal fish life. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, scroll down to my previous post where Hadley named her goldfish Tad, Rad and Cad–likely after the names of her first three boyfriends.

When we brought them home from the store, we let them stay in the bag and float in the tank for a couple of hours to adjust to the water temperature. We instructed the children that under no circumstances were they to feed the fish without our permission, or touch the tank.

Seem like simple instructions? Fess up: how many of you have ever caused a goldfish’s demise?

It was only a few hours after this lecture when Hadley’s friend Alex walked into the den where Jamie was working. She covertly closed the door behind her and confided in Jamie, “I didn’t do it.”

This is always a bad sign.

“Didn’t do what, Alex?”

“Promise not to yell at her, OK?”

This is a worse sign.

Jamie bolted out of his chair and raced into Hadley’s room. Nothing could have prepared him for what he encountered. Hadley was nekkkid, sitting atop her dresser. She had dumped out one-third of the tank’s water all over her drawers as she tried to scoop out the petrified fish with a Tupperware container.

Note: when I say petrified, I mean Scared Out of Their Fins, not the kind of petrified fish you find frozen in time against an ancient wall.

Though at that moment in their lives, I am sure they wished for the latter.

“I just wanted to pet them,” Hadley explained.

She really does need a dog. Last I checked, fish aren’t exactly snuggly.

The fish survived Round 1 but a few days later, Hadley observed that Tad was taking a nap in his cave. Or so we thought. Evidently, fish aren’t cave nappers. Or too smart. Turns out poor Tad met his demise by getting stuck in his man cave.

Let this be a lesson to men everywhere.

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