How we were big winners and losers at our local pumpkin weigh-off

Though Jamie has moved onto bigger and better things in the pumpkin world, we feel a sense of obligation to attend our small city’s annual scarecrow festival. After all, this was where Jamie got his first blue ribbon that fueled his obsession.

He hasn’t brought his pumpkin to this particular weigh-off for several years because a forklift and large scale are needed to remove and weigh his pumpkins, neither of which this competition has. Even bringing the kids’ pumpkin caused its own set of problems because this was their biggest ever and took six of us to lift it into the car.

And yes, our neighbors will be avoiding us for quite some time.

As we pulled up to the pumpkin unloading zone, we saw one of the longtime event organizers who has always praised Jamie very highly. But he didn’t initially realize it was us, causing Jamie to haughtily say, “Does he not know a celebrity when he sees one?

Big head much?

But Jamie is a local celebrity in the growing community and usually comes away with several proteges who grow for the first time the following year.

Admittedly a huge pet peeve at this weigh-off is parents who set their kids loose on the pumpkins. In fact, I got in an argument with a woman last year who, even after I asked her very nicely to not let her kid crawl over the pumpkin because it was easily damaged, she released a barrage of obscenities along the lines of “My kid can do whatever the #*$&#*$&# he pleases and I should mind my own #$&*$# business.”

To avoid any such altercations, this year I let the pumpkin do the talking with a few helpful signs.

It also helped that as the kids visited all the fun booths, I was left behind to be the chief pumpkin babysitter a.k.a. bouncer.

When it came time for the competition, the kids’ 429-beast (s)quashed both the adult and children’s division so the organizers weighed it last. They were  awarded a blue ribbon and a $50 garden center gift certificate, which they happily traded with Jamie for a fast-food meal. He was one proud papa.

However, there have been some rather disturbing occurrences at our house lately. Last week, I posted the following Facebook update:

I just found a pumpkin seed on my side of the bed. I suspect this is The Pumpkin Man’s subtle way of replacing me.

It was then confirmed that Jamie is slowing replacing each one of us. Following the weigh-off, we loaded the pumpkin in the car and it wasn’t until after we’d driven away that Bode noticed we’d left Hadley behind.

She’s already turning into a pumpkin

This means Bode is next. Pray for him.

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