BYU Fans for Life

December 14, 2016 by

When I was at BYU, I attended my fair share of football, basketball and volleyball games. Some of my most memorable moments were going to the BYU football games every week with my friend Garritt, even though I was (and still am) clueless about the game. Give me a puck and a penalty box and this Canuck can talk for hours. But tight-ends and first downs? No thanks. Despite my lack of appreciation for football, we still had a lot of fun sitting in the student section.

My father-in-law bought season tickets to BYU basketball so Jamie has met him in Provo a few times. Last month, our whole family attended “Boomshakalak,” a fun kick-off to the season. It was my first time in the Marriott Center in 20 years and it was Bode’s first time ever so it was only appropriate that my tweet landed him on the Jumbotron. Repeatedly.

And we were so delighted to run into our besties from Colorado, the Larsons, who were visiting their three kids at BYU. I had no idea they would be there but saw they posted a picture on social media. We didn’t tell Hadley about Alexis so it was a funny, surprising reunion in the foyer. 

Fast-forward a few weeks later. We attended the wedding luncheon of the kids’ first babysitter Alexis, daughter of our longtime friends and neighbors, the Haymonds (how can these kids be old enough to get married?)

We high-tailed it over to BYU’s football game, another first for the kids. When Jamie bought the tickets a couple of months prior, it was risky. Late- November games are often miserable and snowy so we kept our fingers crossed and hoped for the best…and we got better than the best.

He bought nosebleed seats (because, you know, money) but as we were getting ready that morning, Jamie’s sister called to ask if we wanted her lobbyist neighbor’s awesome two seats on the 40-yard line. OH YEAH. We planned to just take turns.

We were late to the game because of the luncheon and arrived just before half-time. My friend Sarah texted me, “You should come sit by us. There’s an entire row of seats are empty.”

And these weren’t just any seats. Her husband Ben’s uncle is a major donor to BYU sports so these were even better seats at the 50 yard line. Bode was able to sit with Sarah’s boys and Hadley’s bestie Alex (they were in town for the wedding) hung out with her.

So, here’s how you do BYU football:

Sit in VIP seats.

Take full advantage of their VIP Legacy Tent wristbands with gourmet food but make sure you accidentally go to the wrong tent first (one reserved for sponsors) so you’ll get double the amount of food before realizing you’re in the wrong place.

Then go back to those seats and enjoy your individual coolers of beverage and treats.

The takeaway?

Buying cheap seats totally pays off.

Oh, and BYU won 51-9 but we were the real winners that day.

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie

The evolution of things

December 11, 2016 by

It started yesterday in Heber’s darling Wigglish toy store. The kids were doing their Christmas shopping for each other surrounded by hundreds of the coolest toys and games…and Hadley wasn’t interested in any of them. Her Christmas wishlist includes a laundry list of wants that will never be filled–a fancy camera. A phone. Clothes. Make-up. Perfumes and lotions.

That morning, Jamie and I attended a baptism and helped a new friend move. Hadley has been so exhausted lately from waking up at 5:30 a.m. that I just let her sleep and that she did. Several hours later, I went downstairs to rummage through our basement and found her still slumbering at 1 p.m.?!!!! I laughed, dragged her out of bed and marveled at my new teenager.

Later that evening, my friend Sarah invited us to enjoy their Trader Joe’s spoils of steak and veggies. Jamie had the BYU basketball game with his dad and Hadley had homework so it was just Bode and me. Sarah helped me tremendously during those two months we commuted from Park City by letting me drop off Bode before school and during that time, our kids formed a wonderful bond. As I watched Bode play effortlessly with her three boys, I had an epiphany:

Hadley and Bode don’t play together anymore.

And that made me crazy sad. This move has been difficult on so many levels but this was such an unexpected one that has less to do with our location and more to do with age. For their entire lives, they’ve been besties conjuring up imaginary worlds with their toys and stuffed animals. Sure, they’ve bickered from time-to-time as siblings do but they also had each other, thrown together by extensive travel and circumstance.

Now when they get home after school, they go to their separate corners. Hadley will start on homework, watch make-up tutorials on YouTube or mess around with silly filters. Bode will play math games or chess. They still enjoy laughing at Studio C together and their interactions aren’t bad, they’re just different.

I commented to Jamie yesterday before my epiphany that we have to do better. We’ve been in survival mode for so long that sheer exhaustion lands us in front of the TV every night. It doesn’t help that winter’s evenings are dark and cold but we need to get back to that fun-loving family who traveled and played together.

Every night before bed, we read scriptures and say family prayers. Jamie was still at the game so Hadley, Bode and I piled onto my bed.

“Don’t turn on the light,” I suggested. “Let’s just do dark snuggles.”

I don’t even remember what we talked about but we were transformed back to how it used to be. We laughed. Shared stories. Wrestled. Gazed in wonder as the moon illuminated the snow with a lovely pearly blue-white glow.

It was a piece of magic that this bruised mother’s heart so desperately needed. Things will be different. They have to be–it’s the natural order of things as Hadley and Bode change and grow.

But it gave me hope that they’ll find their way back together again….should we all survive Hadley’s teenage years.  #JesusTakeTheWheel

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley

The birthday boy!

December 9, 2016 by

Celebrating another trip around the sun for our unsung hero with his favorite gingerbread pancakes and fresh apple marmalade. I

t’s been a tough year and he’s been the glue that has held us together with his hilarious one-liners and unwavering strength.

We vowed not to get Christmas gifts to save money but laughed yesterday upon uncovering we secretly bought each other the same gift from a random store an hour away.

It has often felt like we were worlds apart during the chaos of rebuilding our lives but in so many ways, we’re more in tune than ever.

I love you, Pumpkin Man!

Filed Under: birthday, Jamie

The art of negotiation and a glimpse inside our marriage

December 8, 2016 by

When you live next to the world-class cross-country ski wonderland featured in the 2002 Salt Lake Olympic Games,  you’re overstretched on your budget but REALLY want your kids to learn to cross-country ski, this is what you do.

Bode’s buddies are taking a two-month-long course and I really really really want both of the kids to do it but Hadley is extremely resistant, which makes me sad because she’s the one who shows the most promise. In fact, when we cross-country skied in Crested Butte a couple of years ago, our instructor told her if she was local, she’d recruit her for their Junior Olympic Nordic Skiing team. The girl has potential.

But zero motivation.

And we have zero extra money. It has something to do with moving and the thousands of dollars we’ve spent doling out money for a fence, building two rooms in our basement, sprinklers, a new couch (after the new one we ordered was literally falling apart after a month), Christmas (which will be minimal at best) and did I mention Jamie left his iPhone in his jeans and I washed it?

I told my dad to skip out on giving us presents this year and just contribute to the Hadley-Bode downhill skiing fund, which he was glad to do. At least two members of our family will be skiing this winter.

Since I’m in the business of picking my battles with Hadley (and the zero money factor), I acquiesced on the cross-country lessons and decided to focus on Bode. His buddies are taking the course and he’s bored out of his mind after school. I figured it would be an easy sell to Jamie to spend $150 vs. the $300 for both of them. I mean, really. Twice weekly lessons + rentals for just $150?

Plus, for volunteering during class, I accumulate free trail passes for Soldier Hollow. It’s a steal, really.

But I had to sell it to the Banker.

Me: I’m here to negotiate.

Jamie: OK.

Me: I’m signing Bode up for cross-country skiing.

Jamie: How is that a negotiation?

Me: I negotiate like a terrorist.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, skiing

Humor: A Memorable Mom Meltdown

December 8, 2016 by

A few weeks ago, I had one doozy of a meltdown. I usually thrive on change and being pushed beyond my comfort zone but the feelings of being overwhelmed have been building for months. Factor in a move, a new job while juggling the old one, missing friends, financial stress, finishing two rooms in our basement, the holidays, and a to-do list a mile long with no time to go outside and play….something was gonna give and it was my sanity.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was over milk…and it wasn’t even spilled. A certain insubordinate tween called me lazy when I asked her to get the milk at dinner after I’d spent 10 hours working and then fixing our meal.

After I stormed out, my sweet son suggested to my husband they clean up because that would “Make Mom happy.” That kid will make a good spouse to a Mommy Meltdown-er someday.

Let’s face it: Sometimes Mom needs to blow off some steam because why should kids get to have all the fun?  Here’s a guide to having an effective meltdown all your own.

  1. Do: Make sure you use your meltdowns sparingly. If you cry wolf all the time, no one will take you seriously. I can’t remember the last time I had a meltdown of this scale, which made it that much more shocking. I WAS THE WOLF.  HEAR ME ROAR.
  2. Do: Make sure that wherever you storm off to that there is ample entertainment to make your cooldown much more enjoyable.
  3. Do: When Said Insubordinate Tween comes to apologize, receive her back with open arms and reciprocate that apology. Sometimes a good cry together is all you need.
  4. Do: Go on a good bike ride (or whatever your favorite stress release is) and get over it quickly. The reason? They’ll be walking on eggshells around you for days and you’ll be able to enjoy their overly accommodating behavior a lot more if you’re happy.

And, most importantly:

5. DO: When having Said Meltdown, do it on a full stomach. Because it’s tough to be mad when you stormed out on dinner and you’re hungry. And then you’re just mad about being hangry. 

Sincerely,

The Maven of Mommy Meltdowns

Filed Under: Humor

One Year Ago

December 5, 2016 by

I’m really not one to celebrate random anniversaries but this one is tough to forget: One year ago last Saturday was when I received that life-changing impression to uproot our happy life and “look for real estate in Soldier Hollow.”

I remembered even before my Colorado friends flooded their social media accounts with details of the ward Christmas party on Saturday. A year ago, I got that prompting a few hours before and somehow in those early stages, I knew. I proceeded to cry through most of the party because I couldn’t stand the thought of leaving such an amazing ward family.

We’ve been in our house for almost two months now and though those early days were pretty ugly, the last few weeks have been good ones. We celebrated Thanksgiving with Jamie’s family. I hiked the Living Room with my college bestie, Lori. I learned how to make macarons with Jamie’s sisters and mom. I had friends over for dinner before we went to Midway’s annual Christmas tree lighting (which landed Bode on the front page of the local paper). I joined a book club with some awesome ladies. We had a memorable VIP experience with new friends at BYU’s football game. I volunteered at our own’s annual Interfaith Creche exhibit. I joined a new private Facebook group of moms who love to X-Country Ski and Snowshoe and went on my first snowy adventure with them. During our hike, we discussed the lack of online communities for outdoor families so I created a private Facebook group. We’re already planning our first adventure–a moonlight snowshoe in January.

New friends Dawnelle and Heather

It all sounds pretty great, right?

It really is until I’m gobsmacked with What I Left Behind. Last Saturday night, I was missing all my friends who were at our old ward’s party. It was dark and cold, and all I wanted to do was curl up in a blanket and go to bed early but my neighbor Stacie was having a girl’s night out. So, I put my big girl panties on and forced myself to go–because you can’t complain about missing your old friends if you never put yourself out there to make new ones.

I’m so grateful I went. Our new ward is truly a blessing with a mix of “old-timers” and two brand new neighborhoods, many of whom are eager to mingle. I was having a great time chatting with a few ladies when I saw someone out of the corner of my eye. I introduced myself to “Yessica,” and learned she was originally from the Netherlands.

We chatted animatedly for a few minutes. She looked really outdoorsy and I was excited to learn we love many of the same activities.

Me: “You should really join this private Facebook group for women who love to cross-country ski and snowshoe!”

She looked at me dumbfoundedly.”I started that group!”

I gazed back at her, closer this time. “Wait, you’re Jessica? I just friended you on Facebook yesterday!”

She replied, “I just friended you back…and joined your Heber Valley Outdoor Families group.”

It was more than just a small world: it was downright serendipitous. We not only had so much in common but had so many ideas for growing an outdoor-loving community in Midway and beyond. I’m certain she is going to become a good friend and maybe we’ll even build out some projects together.

I walked away from that evening still missing my friends but with more resolve than ever that we’re supposed to be here.

And I can’t wait to discover the many reasons why.

Filed Under: hiking, Utah

One Month Small Town Living Update

November 30, 2016 by
1) I walked to the post office to mail my packages today. Because I can.
2) I know about five people here and ran into two of them across the street at City Hall.
3) I stopped into Edel Weiss Gallery because the shopkeeper left her keys in the door. Turned out she does it on purpose so she doesn’t lose them.
4) I bought Bode some boots on the town’s private Facebook garage sale page. The owner wasn’t home but left the boots out for me and told me to just leave the money under the mat.
5) The Mexican cantina has a salsa bar with 30+ flavors and I discovered on my walk they sell my favorite flavor, cilantro creamo. In bulk.
6) I’m helping at the annual Interfaith Creche Exhibit this week. I’m astounded by the spirit of volunteerism here and that a charming hamlet hosts thousands of people at their community events. People give of their time and talents so generously here and it’s good to be reminded there are still good, moral places like Midway left in the world.

 

Filed Under: Utah

The Family Dynamic

November 29, 2016 by

Hadley LOVES the Divergent books and movies.

There are five societal divisions that classify citizens based on their aptitudes and values. The factions are Dauntless (the brave), Amity (the peaceful), Erudite (the intelligent), Abnegation (the selfless), and Candor (the honest). On an appointed day of every year, all sixteen-year-olds take an aptitude test and must select the faction to which they will devote the rest of their lives.

The main character’s result indicates that she doesn’t fit neatly into any of the five factions, meaning that she is “divergent.” She has equal aptitude for Erudite, Dauntless and Abnegation. But tensions between the five factions are mounting, and there is fear and danger in being divergent, which means she has to keep her true nature secret at all costs.

Hadley had each of our family members take an online quiz to determine where we would belong.

She and I are Dauntless.

Bode is Abnegation.

Jamie was the final one to take the quiz and his result was Divergent, which he took in stride.

“That means I rule them all.”

I’ll second that fear.

Filed Under: Family

Enemy Territory

November 21, 2016 by

One of the things I love about living in a small town is how the community bands together. For Spirit Week, there is a huuuuuuge rivalry between the University of Utah and BYU and “The Holy War” got downright heated.

The schools had “Red Ribbon Week,” to educate kids about saying “no” to drugs. Several businesses offered freebies and deals to celebrate…the kids just had to wear a wristband.

As I was reviewing the daily theme for Red Ribbon Week, there was a dress code for one of the days.

“Bode, you need to wear red tomorrow.”

“Why red? It’s the color of the enemy.”

I’ve trained him too well.

Filed Under: Bode, Humor

Thanksgiving (In)Gratitudes

November 20, 2016 by

Being grateful and happy has always come naturally to me but this move has really thrown me for a loop. I’ll go from feeling on top of the world with little victories like the kids making a new friend to feeling gobsmacked and overwhelmed.

I was reviewing my blog post from last year at this time as I poured out our many blessings. It was a tough read. Life as we knew it was pretty darn perfect and I was so grateful for it. Two weeks later, I would receive the impression we were supposed to leave Colorado.

I think the toughest thing about moving from an idyllic  world to a less-than-ideal situation is expectations. I miss Colorado. I miss our friends. I miss that my friends were also the kids’ best friends and we did everything together. I miss my job and all its perks. Sure, I still own and run Mile High Mamas but ’tis the season for VIP event and travel invites…and I’ve had to pass them along to my writers, which I’m happy to do. But I’m not happy to be constantly reminded of what I’m missing by all those invitations. I need to build out similar opportunities here but I just don’t have time.

One of my major sources of discontent has been our new house. There are many things I love about it: The view. The kitchen. The charming old farm table. My office. The huge basement. The granite countertops and hardwood floors. The massive yard (that will be a ton of work to complete but will be amazing when we do).

But there are just as many things I dislike about it: The small  upstairs rooms (particularly the master bedroom with the tiniest closet in the house), the mud room (so small that there’s nowhere to put the laundry baskets), the small family room that makes it difficult to entertain. The list goes on.

The financial strain of this move continues daily as we bleed money. We had to order a newer, most expensive couch yesterday because the one we bought is already showing wear. Our builder, Utah Home Builders, took several shorcuts that are costing us a lot of money such as putting in a circuit board with no extra spaces; we had to drop an additional $1,000 to install a new one in order to have electicity downstairs.

I recognize these are first world problems but we spent a lot of money on this house and to be unhappy with the layout is a source of constant frustration. Part of the problem was we never really saw our house before moving in because all the models were sold. We had the builder’s plans so conceptually we had an idea of the layout but living with it is an entirely different ballgame.

It makes me realize how much we loved our old 5-bedroom house.  We hated our view and didn’t have fancy upgrades but all the rooms were spacious and spread apart–the four bedrooms were on separate quarters upstairs. In our new ranch, all three of the bedrooms and two bathrooms are crammed into one little area. Hadley wakes up at 5:30 a.m. for school and we all hear about it. Daily. Top priority: scraping together some money to finish the bathroom downstairs.

The first five weeks were rough. Unpacking. Working 15-hours days getting settled before I started my job. Hadley sleeping on the floor in my now-office. Jamie’s desk in our little bedroom. We hired someone to frame and drywall two rooms in the basement and we’ve done the rest. We finished last week and moved Hadley to her room and Jamie is in his new office. Space is still tight upstairs but at least we’re not living on top of each other.

When we’re finally able to afford finishing our basement, we’ll be just fine but who knows when we’ll have a chunk of money to complete it? For now, I’m just trying to live and love what we have while lowering expectations. Sure, we don’t have the tight-knit group from Colorado but we’ve already made a few good friends. We love our ward, the kids are doing wonderfully in school and love being closer to Jamie’s awesome family. I truly love living in this charming mountain hamlet. In fact, I wonder why I’ve lived in the suburbs of a big city my entire life. On Friday, I went for a hike around Soldier Hollow, the world-class cross-country skiing venue for the 2002 Salt Lake Olympic Games. It is a five minute drive from my house. This just blows my mind and I can’t wait to ski it this winter.

So, for those of us who might be feeling a bit less-than grateful this holiday season while also still recognizing our blessings, this article I quoted last year from The Atlantic still rings true:

Gratitude is the truest approach to life. We did not create or fashion ourselves. We did not birth ourselves. Life is about giving, receiving and repaying. We are receptive beings, dependent on the help of others, on their gifts and their kindness.”

Photo taken by Willie Holdman of last week’s sunset in the Heber Valley

Filed Under: holidays
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