Family travel | Life Elevated Mom

A Mommy Blogger’s Cerebral Edema on the Brain

June 7, 2007 by Amber

Jamie and I are currently training to climb Colorado’s highest mountain, the second highest in the lower 48.

We began a few nights ago, which included this paltry (and frightening) attempt at looking tough as we hauled both kids on a hike. My apologies to Bode for completely cutting him out of the picture; I would hate to diminish his critical role of welp, weighing me down. I just had to include this particular shot because Haddie made me chortle. Loudly.

Why would we want to train for such a thing?

a) We are m@sochists

b) I want to confirm the “Crazy” in “Canuck”

c) We think summiting this will be fun

d) All of the above

e) a and b above

And the answer would be ‘e.’ So why do it if we don’t think it will be fun?

Well, why do we choose to endure nine months of hell and multiple hours of labor? For the views and rewards in the end, of course! Unless, that is, you’re puking your guts out at the summit.

Colorado has 54 mountains over 14,000 feet high. Someone, somewhere decided it would be cool to start a demented little club to challenge folks to climb them. Jamie and I are members of Said Club of Dementia. Because even though I love hiking, I do not love climbing 14ers. My smile at this 14,267-foot summit?

It is fake. We then went on to summit another 14er that same day. There are no photos atop that second mountain for a reason.

We hope the snow will be melted enough to make our latest attempt at the end of June. So why the rigorous training schedule we have implemented?

a) Two words: deathbed repentance.

b) The only exercise Jamie gets these days is yard work.

c) It ticks me off that even though I workout daily, he still blows me away. At least if he is in shape, I will have an excuse for the butt whipping….

d) All of the above

And the answer, of course, would be ‘d’….

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, hiking, Humor Tagged With: 14er, hiking

Would You Trust These Children?

May 17, 2007 by Amber

Are they:

a) Currently under house arrest for defacing an entire Thomas the Trainset with blue marker.
b) Passport pictures wherein they look like the Taliban.
c) Totally busted for stepping on and/or consuming yard-obsessed Jamie’s plants.
d) All of the above

If you guessed “d” you must have a few delinquents of your own.

Last week, a Farewatcher Alert appeared in my inbox with a crazy-cheap deal for flights to Mexico. Jamie and I had planned to take the kids to Orlando in August but after doing some figuring, determined it would be less expensive to go to a foreign country than to vacation in our own. Go figure.

The 24 hours that followed were frenzied, primarily due to the need for the kids to now have passports for travel to Mexico and Canada. Surprisingly enough, they were champs whilst getting their photos taken. Much better than I, who was reprimanded for not standing still enough and for looking “too chipper.” Forgive me for not perfecting my Taliban glare.

Hadley cannot stop talking about the beach and has been practicing her Spanish, muchos gracias to that bilingual Dora the Explorer. Our conversations are repeatedly interwoven with “hola madre,” “amigos,” and “vaminose, let’s go!” She even shows off with some made-up Spanish words because she knows her north-of-the-border mother doesn’t know what the crap she’s talking about.

In order to afford our getaway we had to relinquish some local trips this summer, including a trek out to Utah for Jamie’s grandpa’s 90th birthday. I am surprised by just how much discord this has caused Jamie’s sweet mother. She can’t figure out why on earth we would we chose a trip to the sun-kissed beaches of Mexico vs. making polite conversation with relatives we’ve never met in the desert?

Duh.

Truth be told, I was sad to miss this trip. I still have many friends in Utah and had planned to trail run walk OK, crawl many of my old haunts. On the other hand, I cannot wait to watch Haddie bodysurf for the first time and witness Bode ingest a quart of sand. Every hour. Call me crazy but it just sounds better than the humiliation of watching Jamie fumble around trying to remember his 243 cousins’ names. Talk about embaracada.

Oh wait. I think that means “knocked up” and not “embarrassing.”

But if I were a true Dora devotee, I would have already known that.

Travel writer travelin’ tip: Jamie came upon this gem when we booked our recent cruise: SkyAuction.com. It is an online eBay-esque site where they auction off travel for CHEAP. We saved several hundred dollars on our cruise and this time around, got an all-inclusive hotel for half the price. My only payment for this little plug is that you take me with you. So I guess that doesn’t mean savings in the end but think of what a delightful addition I will be to your romantic getaway.

Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Hadley, Humor, travel

Planet Alignment Tabulation Part II

March 13, 2007 by Amber

This post won’t make any sense unless you read my previous entry regarding my attempts to ascertain Planet Pluto’s Performance (P.P.P.) on our recent trip. Then again, most of what I say is lacking in gumption so you may just wanna be the risk taker you think you are and read on.

Daytime Drama

Despite all the setbacks (note: you would know what I’m taking about if you had just read that other entry), we had a grand time with Meredith and Andy. We had great eats, took Bode swimming for the first time and played cards until late. Well, late being 10 p.m. after the time change, which is a veritable night out on the town for us these days.

It was a flurried frenzy outside so we took the kids out to Snow Mountain Ranch’s Nordic Center. While baby Maddie was content to just eat the snow and pass out on her sled (not to beat a dead horse but… see picture on previous entry), plucky Haddie pummelled down the mountain. Because having a Dora the Explorer ski coat inspires her to conquer the world.

In the meantime, Bode and I went for a hike together in my new piece-of-crap Ergo carrier that I could not load even if my life depended on it. Or his life, which has been in jeopardy a few too many times during said loading process. Regardless, he said it was lots of fun. Too bad it was the only time he slept the entire trip.

P.P.P.: Perfectly aligned (but a little lopsided.)

Nappy Naptime

We have our own natural disaster at our place lately. Sadly, the Hurricane is slowly ceasing and desisting from that-which-is-my-only-daytime-sanity: her naptime. This weekend was no exception so instead of keeping grumpy Bode awake with her antics, I took her for a Girl’s Afternoon Out at the gymnasium.

We raced around playing soccer and basketball before Hadley announced she wanted to try roller-skating. Even though I’m a roller-blading junkie, I warily looked at her.

“You’re only 2.”
“I wanna skate!”

I caved and strapped her into the rental skates that looked about as old as me. I thought for sure she’d be screaming out of fear within moments but I was wrong. Brazenly, she pointed me in the direction she wanted to go and I obligingly supported her efforts as she glided along. Until she attempted to jump in them. And then scale the stairs. If they’d had a ramp I’m sure she would have vaulted off that as well.

When I loosened up a little, I started to appreciate her aptitude and had visions of athletic grandeur as I relished that I had blessedly escaped birthing a prissy girl. Until we removed the skates and she looked at them distastefully.

“What’s wrong, Haddie?”
“They don’t match my clothes.”

P.P.P. Perfectly aligned (but allegedly lacking in color coordination).

The Drive Home

Bode slept. Haddie puked.

P.P.P.: I’d have to call this one a draw.

SOLVE MY RIDDLE: Who in this picture had not slept for two nights?

Filed Under: Colorado, Family, Family travel, Humor, travel

San Francisco: From Riches to Rags

October 10, 2006 by Amber

Well, our riches to rags story is a sordid tale of our condescension from the Ritz to the Ramada. Normally, I wouldn’t deem this to be a bad thing, except for when it’s a blatant reminder of our station in life. I.e. Glamorous Ritz Carlton: company tab. Dumpy Downtown Ramada: our sad little dime. But I digress.

First, our San Francisco experience. I LOVE that city but it rained. And rained. And rained. It didn’t start out raining. It just waited until we were too far away from Said Dumpy Hotel to turn back. We were optimistic and believed the weather would clear because of the blue skies intermingled with storm clouds. Yeah, right. I guess in California, it still rains when the skies are blue. Who knew?

And so we walked. And walked. And walked. For hours and hours. And miles and miles. To Union Square, China Town, random neighborhoods with near-naked homeless guys and finally, Fisherman’s Wharf. And it rained and rained and rained. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t all bad. Bode made a friend.

And despite the deluge, we kept our spirits up and just enjoyed being drenched as a family. We also had an amazing lunch at a shamelessly touristy restaurant in Fisherman’s Wharf with stellar views as Blue Angels dipped over the Bay and the Golden Gate Bridge.

And the weather did finally clear. Of course, we were on our way to the airport.

But back to Said Dumpy Hotel. It was quite a miserable experience, notwithstanding the stellar view.

Oh wait. Wrong day. This was more like it:

Yippee. It was possibly the worst hotel I’ve ever stayed in. Maybe it was the lights that didn’t work most of the time. Or the shoebox room with only one foot of maneuverability. Or the sticky bathroom floor. Or the lack of elevator for our second-story room. Or the television with crappy reception. Oh, and don’t ask about the pancakes…err…pillows.

Suffice it to say, it wasn’t our most memorable night of sleep. But imagine our delight when leaving the next day and we spotted this sign we had missed on the way in.

Next time around? I think I’ll just mortgage my house and stay at the Ritz.

Filed Under: Bode, Family, Family travel, Humor, Jamie, travel

Putting on The Ritz

October 8, 2006 by Amber

So, Jamie, Bode and I survived our big California adventure. Both of my boys were a dream and made me fall in love with them even more. Especially the little one. At least he didn’t ditch me to go golfing with the good old boys.

Of course, the pampering at The Ritz Carlton definitely helped. As we drove up to the breathtaking grounds, I hestitatingly asked Jamie “How much do you tip at a place like this?”

His response was indicative of cheap buggers everywhere: “Whatever you do, avoid everyone at all costs.” No pun intended.

Our room was, welp, let’s just say one night at the Ritz cost as much as our entire week-long cruise we’re taking next year. We stayed in a garden-level room with our own private deck and firepit.
Upon arrival, we went for a brief walk along the cliffside to smell the ocean. And money. As we meandered back we eavesdropped on a cigar-smoking group of millionaires hob-nobbing around a firepit: “Yeah, when we were down at Pebble Beach, we cruised around in our $120,000 Mercedes. Blah, blah, blah.” We believed him, too. When waiting for the [$40] valet, our PT Cruiser rental was the only vehicle worth under $50,000.

Bode slept marvelously in his luxury Ritz baby crib, only waking up a couple of times to eat and then sleeping in until 9 a.m. I had been such a sleep-deprived wreck that getting my eight hours almost made me make out with the little guy in gratitude over it all. Jamie ended up reaping the rewards. I think he’s finally cluing in that it doesn’t take illustrious vacations or 1,000-thread-count sheets (though they certainly help). Just get me some freaking sleep!

While Jamie was in meetings the next day, Bode and I found a coastal trail and walked for miles along the cliffside. That afternoon, we hit downtown Half Moon Bay and then hung out on the beach together. He had a great time and was a very amiable travel companion, though he did say he always thought his first trip to the beach would involve a bit more skin.
As for Jamie, he had his first exposure to The Big Boys on the Block. You know: the VIPs of Yahoo, eBay, Amazon, Microsoft, etc. Jamie even had one of them retrieve his golf ball. I couldn’t have been more proud.

Several hours and calls from uptight golf widows later, The Boys called it a day. Or maybe it was the rain that did that. Regardless, I started to get an idea of the life these widows lead. Which is why when Jamie’s golf clubs never showed up at baggage claim after our trip, I oh-so-briefly considered tipping the United worker to have them “mysteriously” stay missing.

But then I remembered our tipping policy. Or lack thereof. I just hate it when being a cheap bugger comes back to bite you….

Next edition: From Riches to Rags. Our Condescension to San Francisco….

Filed Under: Family, Family travel, Humor, travel

The Cost of Luxury

September 19, 2006 by Amber

Ahhh, the suspense of my eventful weekend. After forgetting the blasted key, we eventually got into our luxury cabin. I won’t divulge the sordid details (no cell phone reception, the owner in Hawaii, cleaning lady unavailable, etc.) In the end, we found a spare key, something I may underhandedly use in the future because I DEMAND A DO-OVER!

As aforementioned, our weekend plans centered on relaxation and fun in the sun. We didn’t get either of them. Don’t get me wrong. If I’m going to suffer from any kind of ailment, I would rather do it at a million-dollar lakeside cabin vs. my own anarchic abode.

The excruciating stomach pains started that night, followed by a fever. And then came the mad dashes to the bathroom. Just to put this in perspective, I usually suffer from the opposite affliction, the one where you camp out there for hours. I’m sure it was just a coincidence that both the toilet and the shower broke when I was the last person to use them. My MIL tried to comfort me by talking about the cabin’s past plumbing problems, though I suspect this was code for my own maladies.

And then Haddie got sick. In addition to diarrhea in diapers, she also specialized in projectile puking.

Oh well. At least we had our kayaks and water toys.

It snowed and/or rained the entire weekend.

Oh well. At least the healthy boys had a great time playing and taking care of us. Errr…didn’t they?

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, Humor, travel

Amber Murphy Strikes Again

September 17, 2006 by Amber

As many of you know, it’s been a rough few weeks. OK, months. But I was finally feeling better and the outlook was bright.

Until we decided to chance the unthinkable last weekend: The Family Roadtrip. It had all the makings for an amazing getaway. Jamie scored us a million-dollar lakeside cabin in the mountains.
A cabin that has Tim “The Toolman” Taylor as a neighbor. A cabin where celebrities have stayed and left their mark. OK, maybe the janitor on Scrubs ain’t exactly A-list but work with me here. At least the place was extra clean.

We invited Grandma and Grandpa along (a.k.a. babysitters extraordinaire). We would hike through the verdant fall foliage, play with their numerous kayaks and water toys, and explore the quaint mountain hamlet.

And then It happened. My life. That same Amber Murphy life that plagued my travel-writing days. With allllll those unfortunate events that made my readers tune in regularly to find out what else could possibly go wrong this time.

Jamie couldn’t get off work until later so Linda and I decided to make the two-hour drive earlier in the day. That way, the kids could nap during the drive and we’d have plenty of time to get settled. Brilliant, right? Yeah, if they’d actually slept.

Undaunted, we still made great time and arrived at the cabin. We unloaded the kids and luggage and made the long trek down the steep ramp to the cabin. As we stood at the doorway, I did a victory dance over how magnificent it all was: the gorgeous cabin, the shimmering water, the fragrance of fall.

And then I tried the key. The same key I thought belonged to the cabin. The same key that turned out to be one of two keys that Hunky Hubby had received from the owner. Unbeknownst to me. I later found out I had in my possession the garbage key. How utterly convenient. While the house key sat on our kitchen counter, two hours away.

And so It began. My life.

(To be continued. When I have the strength to relive it all….)

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, Humor, travel Tagged With: embarrassing

Crazy Fun Family Weekend

January 23, 2006 by Amber

Welp, we had the best ever family vacation to YMCA of the Rockies last weekend! Now, “best ever” meant different things to different people. For Jamie, it meant I completely lost my voice and could only murmur sweet nothings in his ear. For me, it meant I was out of the house. Thankfully, Hadley was in a great mood the entire time. Oh, and she slept through the night. That makes “The Best Ever” list for both of us.

We called it our Crazy-Fun Weekend. Each time we’d say that, Haddie would obligingly throw her head back and raucously do her Crazy-Fun Laugh. Someday she’ll look at us in disgust and pray no one will see us participate in such corny activities. But for now, we’re milking it.

Our mountain resort was idyllic. A huge storm blew threw on Thursday, leaving a blanket of powder and bluebird conditions. We had planned to snowshoe and skate but since going up the stairs made me cough up my only good lung, we downgraded our activities. We still knocked a few baskets down on the basketball court, went swimming, played with the stuffed elk in the lobby, and pigged out on the buffet free times a day.

But the real highlight was sledding and playing in the snow at the Nordic Center. The tubing hill was abuzz with activity, mostly teens dog-piling and trying to kill each other. Hadley looked at them in wonder…and then proceeded to pummel down the steep slope in her little sled, absolutely annihilating her competition. They marveled at her: “How old is she?” they’d ask. Proud Papa Jamie would humbly reply “Oh, she’s only 1.” I think he was secretly plotting her Olympic prospects in the luge.

Our little speed demon was also in her element at the base of the mountain when Jamie put her in a tube, grabbed a rope and spun her around in circles. He had her going so fast her body was sloped over and her neck flung back as she squealed with delight. I thought for sure her head would pop off but it held strong. It’s a good thing, too, because after a year of questioning if it even existed during her Jabba/Chub phase, she recently discovered she had one.

We rushed home to watch the sad demise of Jamie’s Broncos. OK, he watched, I napped. We’re both feeling a bit bummed–he, because of his team. Me, because it’s painful to see a grown man cry. Oh, and because I’m going to have to have to endure his nappy 1999 Broncos Superbowl sweatshirt for at least another year.

Filed Under: Colorado, Family, Family travel, Hadley, Jamie, travel