It’s official: the sad determination that chubs aren’t cute…no matter what your age

A recent wave of snow came as an answer to my overheated prayers but also left me scrambling with an activity to keep Hadley busy at the beginning of the week. My resolution was not a favorable one: to hit the mall and shop for maternity clothes. I’ve already expressed my disdain for everything that is not Super Target so imagine the angst an entire building full of shops must give me.

Coincidentally, my mall de choix had a Super Target. I realized what an addict I truly am when I pulled into this unfamiliar parking lot and immediately my 1-year-old Haddie squealed “Target!!!!” (which also translates into “FREE COOOOOOOKIE!!!”)

We hit the cookie counter and merry-go-round before I mustered up the nerve to enter Motherhood Maternity. I grabbed about five pairs of pants and shorts and crammed into the dressing room with Hadley. Now, I thought children were supposed to be innocent and non-judgmental. Not The Hurricane. When I grabbed an item, she’d scrutinize it, scrunch her nose at me and pronounce:

“Nooooo, BIG!”

This happened not once but every blasted time. Like I needed to be reminded. I was tempted to ask my little fashion consultant what was too big: was it the size of clothing that could drape a tent or my gargantuan stomach that spilled out over the waistline? But instead I patted her on the head and told her to enjoy this time now while her chubs and dimples were still cute; she’ll know the harsh realities soon enough.

WAIT. SCRATCH THAT LAST SENTENCE. THIS JUST IN FROM ABC NEWS: Controversial new testing to begin measuring the Body Mass Index (BMI) to determine if kids under 2 are obese? How do you like them apples?

Somehow, I think Jabba (as she was known in her younger years) would’ve been the poster child for it. Kinda takes the fun out of alllll those free cookies…..

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