Utah Mom Blog & Mommy Blogger | Life Elevated Mom

MakeBeliever Makes a Believer Out of Me (Plus Giveaways)

December 17, 2007 by Amber

santa picI have discovered what is perhaps the most innovative, brilliant and gloriously manipulative Santa tool EVER.

Let’s face it – those mall Santas are clueless with their fake beard and padded stomach. They don’t know who your child is or care what they want for Christmas.

Enter MakeBeliever.com.

It is a highly personalized Flash video from a live Santa that you create for the recipient of your choice, delivered by email. Recipients like…say…for your children. Children who just may have been nice or who may need a little “naughty” nudge in the right direction. Like in the direction towards a potty.

Before you judge me, the doctor told me to do it. For “potty underachievers,” he recommended we dangle an incentive as motivation. We have done a year’s worth of hangings: from toys to treats to television. Nothing has worked. Santa is our last hope.

I realize the intention behind MakeBeliever’s fun greetings is not to manipulate the recipient. But not to be forgotten is my Christmas wish for ol’ St. Nick: a diaper-free holiday.

As Hadley viewed the video, she was mesmerized when Santa checked off her favorite things: her birthday, her favorite color and animal. He even knew she wanted a little computer for Christmas and commended her for being nice to her brother.

But then came the [optional] “naughty list” and the mention of her potty habits. Or lack thereof. She gritted her teeth and said, “Uh oh.” But never once did she back down from the challenge of The Man in Red.

She viewed it 13 times before we finally dragged her away. I am hopeful that 13 times is enough for osmosis to set in.

And for both of our Christmas wishes to come true.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Mommy Blogger Transformer

December 13, 2007 by Amber

Like many of you, I have a lot going down these days and here are a few highlights:

Terrific 3s

Thanks for all the GREAT advice and empathy you gave regarding my Little Terrible 3. From the sound of it, the 3s are far worse than the 2s for many people. In honor of of the CBS show Kid Nation, maybe we should just pool together all the bi-polar three-year-olds in the world and let them duke it out.

Then again, our species would be rendered obsolete.

Bugged Out

We have all acquired a lovely bug at our house that manifests itself at both ends. Hands down, my most trying times as a mom are when I am sick and required to take care of everyone. I think I will start a foundation aimed to take care of mamas when they are sick. Any takers?

Tree Killer

The man who grew the biggest pumpkin in town has killed our Christmas tree only a couple of weeks after purchase. And then he murdered my beautiful maroon poinsettia. Next stop: the Christmas spirit?

Swappin’ Recipes

I have been over at Mile High Mamas a lot this week. I am here to remind you that today is the final full day to share your favorite holiday recipes and be entered to win our fantastic prize package and possibly land yourself in The Denver Post.

The Great Transformer

My post today at MHM is all about confessionals. Have you lived your entire life denouncing a particular product, only to do a complete about-face? I call it a change of heart.

Jamie calls it hypocrisy.

Either way, come checkout my mind-boggling transformation.

And minivan drivers, stand tall, stand proud. This post’s for you.

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Admittedly, when Dodge contacted Mile High Mamas during their quest to find 50 local moms to test drive their 2008 Dodge Caravan, I scoffed. To say I am not a fan of minivans is an understatement. My sole reasoning behind my disdain for them was summed up in Chipotle’s recent ad campaign that attested, “There is no such thing as a cool minivan.”

The evidence:

No. 1: My ultra-cool neighbors (who bear a strong physical resemblance to Gabrielle and Carlos Solis on Desperate Housewives) considered buying a minivan last year. Instead of being supportive, I teased them to no end that they were “selling out their coolness.” This would later come back to bite me in the buttocks.

No. 2: During my qualifying interview with Dodge, they asked me if I would ever consider driving a minivan. I, of course, lied and said “Yes.” When asked what kind of minivan I would buy, I could not come up with even one example until they prompted me with, “Well, how about a Dodge Caravan?” Miraculously, I still qualified.

I would like to say it took me a while to warm up to the Caravan given my history. But after my half-hour tour of all its many charms, I was in love. Just like that, a convert. It was like living those many years pro-Diet Coke, only to have a swig of the enemy – Diet Pepsi – and to never look back.

It was just so convenient. With its power sliding doors, trunk, everything, the two LCD screens with accompanying DVD players, SIRIUS Satellite TV and Radio, the GPS to confirm just how lost I can become, the swivel seating system that allowed rear-seat passengers to swivel around to face each other while accommodating a stoable center table. IMG 8157 And not to be forgotten is the rear video camera that transmitted to the dashboard LCD screen, letting me see exactly what I was going to hit whilst backing up.

My husband says he has not seen a sell-out like this since The Simpson’s Krusty the Clown turned corporate.

We took my new love down to Colorado Springs and traveling with the kids was seamless. Imagine that: a seamless road trip. I never thought that possible.

During my week-long love affair, I still had this nagging feeling that I was selling out on my coolness. But then came my epiphany:

I am an unshowered mother of two children and my days of being cool are over.

Thanks, Dodge.

Filed Under: Favorite Posts, Humor

General Preschooler Deviance

December 12, 2007 by Amber

People often wonder why a stay-at-home mom cannot piece together two coherent sentences.

After Monday, I know why.

The Hurricane has occasionally had an attitude lately, specifically a bad one. I often struggle with disciplining her as I attempt to mold but not shatter her free spirit. One of the most challenging aspects of her personality is she has always been headstrong and stubborn. And lately her resistance to potty train has translated into different areas of her life. “You want me to get dressed? Too bad. And brush my hair? Don’t you know dreadlocks are ‘in’ at preschool?”

Case #1
On Monday, our power struggles reached a head after two hours of coaxing her to get dressed. I did not have any pressing errands so I decided this would be my day to teach her who was boss. Or to confirm just how subservient I am.

I finally stuck her in time-out with her clothes and told her she could not come out until she was dressed. There was kicking. There was screaming. There were notations taken for Santa’s naughty list. And despite the fact that she professed to be starving, she refused to budge even when I promised I would give her a sampling of her favorite smoothie after she got dressed.

And then Bode and I proceeded to drink some of it in front of her. Because he made me do it.

After 88.5 minutes, she finally relented. For those unfamiliar with P.D.T. (Preschooler Deviance Time), this is actually equal to 3 hours and 10 hours in T.P.T. (Traumatized Parent Time). If I had not been so frazzled, I would have been impressed with her dedication.

Case #2
Hadley then begged me for some lunch so I made some Mac ‘n Cheese and snuck in some pureed butternut squash. All was going fine until she discovered “The funny-shaped noodles” and then the meltdowns ensued as she accused me of poisoning her with goodness. Note to self: ensure there are no chunks of goodness in the puree next time.

Case #3
After lunch, we were all stir-crazy so decided we would bundle up and go play in the snow. Hadley’s hair was disheveled and uncombed (you know: the dread look) so I swooped it up in a ponytail. And then the waterworks were unleashed, “I DON’T WANT A SIDE PONYTAIL. TAKE. IT. OUT!!”

Bode and I left her inside until she got a grip.

During that final tantrum, I had recollections of my pediatrician when I took her in for her 3-month check-up. “She’s a fussy, colicky baby, isn’t she?” he queried. She was extremely calm at the time so I figured it must have been the veins bulging from my head that gave it away.

Before I could give my confirmation, he continued, “Do you know how I know? She has abs of steel from all the crying. She may be a difficult child now but it will all payoff someday in the boardroom.”

If she survives that long to make it there.
🙂
HALLLLP! Does anyone have any advice for surviving the Terrible 3s?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The Broadmoor = Kiddy Heaven

December 10, 2007 by Amber

During my career as an adventure-travel writer, my accommodations ranged from the most opulent mountain lodges to the cold, hard ground. And to be honest, I loved them equally.

Until I gave birth.

And then camping involved wrestling young children away from the fire pit and sleepless nights in the tent as they howled like insomniac wolves. Given my passion for the outdoors, I hope to someday return to the extreme backcountry with them. Like maybe when they are 20.

In the meantime, I have been on a quest to find family-friendly accommodations and will highlight a different destination each month.

My latest pursuit led me to The Broadmoor. You know, that one hotel in Colorado Springs that has been the nation’s longest continuous winner of the Mobile Five-Star and AAA Five Diamond Awards. I did an online search for travel reviews and stumbled upon a crotchety old man who described The Broadmoor’s influx of children and activities as “Kiddy Hell.”

It was then I knew it would be my heaven.

We stayed at The Broadmoor for the first time on Saturday. We are generally not 5-star folks but I am a firm believer that the occasional splurge is good for the soul. And it seemed like such a pity to have never been to a legendary hotel practically in our backyard that places such an emphasis on children.

December in particular is a family-oriented month and we dove into a variety of activities, starting with Breakfast with Santa. It was located on a beautiful set in the ballroom complete with Santa, Mrs. Claus, elves and enough calories to last until Christmas. This was my brazen daughter Hadley’s first visit of the season with Santa and she has been prepping for weeks.

But as we approached the stage, she choked. Ever the concerned mother, I thought only of our requisite annual shot with The Man in Red and hissed,

“If you ever want another present from Santa again, you WILL get up there.”

I just wonder how I will convince her to still do it when she’s 20.

Maybe it will be during one of our camping trips.

From there, it was onto cookie decorating, a quick stop in The Little Theatre for a showing of “A Christmas Story,” and the highlight of the day: storytime with Mrs. Claus. I have been to my fair share of children’s shows and storytimes but I have never encountered anyone as engaging and hilarious as Mrs. “Beth Epley” Claus, who has been performing her songs and stories at The Broadmoor for 19 years. She has children who return every year to see her and she was the highlight of our weekend. Well, she and the Kobe beef at the Tavern restaurant. I do have my priorities.

Even though The Broadmoor is 89 years old, it only took Saturday’s storm to leave the expansive grounds looking renewed with a delicious frosting of snow. The snowflakes whirled around us in a flurry of white, like pigment seeping into paper. The children were mesmerized – and cold – so we hit the indoor pool at The Broadmoor Spa.

After splashing around for a while, we stopped to admire our luxurious surroundings as my husband Jamie proclaimed:

“Hadley, this is what it looks like on the other side of the tracks.”

And I am so glad to have caught a glimpse.

(Originally published at Mile High Mamas).

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, Humor, travel Tagged With: Broadmoor

Holiday Recipe Swap Contest!

December 8, 2007 by Amber

Wanted: your favorite holiday recipes for possible publication in The Denver Post!

I am not officially launching this until tomorrow on Mile High Mamas but thought I would give you the head’s up. I would love to hear about (and hopefully make) your favorite holiday recipes. Because my life’s mantra is: “Dear Lord, if you cannot make me skinny, please make all my friends fat.” Let’s share the love. 🙂

The newspaper’s food editor is judging the contest and will choose several recipes to be included in the newspaper (complete with a picture of you or the food). I also have a fantastic prize package I will include on MHM tomorrow that includes a designer apron from Domestic Darlings, fun bamboo kids utensils from Branch and the new cookbook, Deceptively Delicious.

Simply go to http://www.milehighmamas.com, click on “Holiday Recipes” under the mama-to-mama forum, briefly register (click “sign up”) and add your favorite recipe. I included my favorites that include gingerbread pancakes with fresh apple marmalade, shortcut almond roca and sugar and spice cookies.

If it is not an original creation, please provide the correct attribution. Because isn’t it about time that Grandma Jean got some recognition for her famous eggnog pie? (Editor’s note: if someone does have Said Recipe, I WANT IT.)

So get in early and let us know all about your favorite traditional or non-traditional holiday food!!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

When deceptive cookbooks should be marketed towards children AND husbands

December 7, 2007 by Amber

“I am just calling to tell you I am going to be deceptive tonight.”

“Deceptive? How?”

“Deceptively Delicious, to be exact.”

“What?”

“I am using my new cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld tonight. You know, the one that sneaks pureed vegetables into the recipes.”

“OK, sounds good. No wait.”

“What’s wrong, Jamie?”

“I AM NOT GOING TO EAT BROCCOLI AND ACTUALLY LIKE IT, AM I?”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Santa for Slimfast?

December 6, 2007 by Amber

“Did you hear that some advocacy group is trying to change Santa and make him lose weight? You know, to set a good example for the children.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Pretty ridiculous, huh?”

“Think of all the chub songs about him like how he is a “jolly, happy soul.”

“Err…actually that song is about Frosty.”

“Close enough.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Keeping Christ in Christmas (kind of) and other Hunky Hubby hints about how to have a charitable holiday

December 4, 2007 by Amber

Amber: I adore this Christmas tree skirt my mom gave me. I love that a nativity scene is under the tree.

Jamie: Yep. And [greedily] we are going to cover it up with all our sins.

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We stayed with some friends in Colorado Springs last weekend. As we were shivering in the early-morning temperatures, Jamie asked me:

“Amber, can you go out to the car to get something for me?”

I looked over at him. He was wearing the exact same thing as me.

“We are dressed identically, Jamie. Why don’t you go do it?”

“Because I don’t want my feet to get cold.”

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A special thanks to my dear Lizzie for giving me a coveted “Perfect Post” award. Who’d have thunk?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Boys vs. Girls

November 30, 2007 by Amber

Anyone who thinks gymnastics is for wimps….

Never saw The Bubby.

This picture was taken after he tripped on the mat and clipped the balance beam. (He said he is glad it is not among the men’s events.)

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Bode and Daddy went to a hockey game on Friday night (he fit right in) while it was a Girl’s Night Out to The Nutcracker with my little sugarplum.

Come on over to Mile High Mamas to read all about it. Oh, and to download your favorite holiday picture of your little elves!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

What Not to Say When Planning Your Wife’s Future Funeral

November 29, 2007 by Amber

I am published today.

Then again, I do that every day. I write a post on my blog and click “Publish.” Voila, published!

But I’m in the newspaper today. Last week, I wrote a review for a local bistro on a “Citizen Journalist” site. The next day, I was contacted by the editor telling me they were going to publish it in the print edition. What makes me qualified to be a food critic, you might ask?

I have a palate.

This means that everyone could do it. And all those highbrow restaurant critics are nothing more than palate snobs. Very well-fed palate snobs.

I’ll take it.

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I am really enjoying my calling as pianist for the Primary children at church. I mean, what’s not to love? I hide behind the piano, can pick my nose all I want and nobody pays attention to me unless I royally screw up. Which only happens about 15 times a day.

Recently, we sang my favorite childhood song, “My Heavenly Father Loves Me.” It is a touching song about the beauty of nature and the miracle of our bodies. As I played, I got a bit teary-eyed (again, it was good to be hiding behind the piano). I decided I would love to have sweet, innocent children sing that song at my funeral someday.

In a rare serious moment during our drive home, I decided to impart my wishes upon my loving husband.

“Jamie, I know what I want sung at my funeral.”

“Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead?”

Filed Under: Uncategorized