The Plague

Bode and I are sick. Dog sick. If it sounds like I am sick a lot, you are correct. I go through a six-week cycle of wellness until The Plague resurfaces. As bad as I feel, it’s even worse having to take care of a little one who is suffering so much. The whimpers (and particularly the screeches) are enough to break your heart (and ears).

The other day was so bad that Grandma had to rescue Hadley and quarantine her from us. Funny, but I always envisioned quarantine to be a dismal place, not one full of sugar, countless toys and Grandma snuggles. She got the better end of that deal.

Once free from the Hurricane (just watching her is enough to wear me out), The Boder and I laid around like slugs. Occasionally, he would make requests: “Hey woman–I need some boob.” Or “Hey woman–I’ve got snot dripping down to my navel.” And I would generously help the little guy out. Because that’s what mothers who infect their young do.

Part of what makes me an absolute misery to be around when I’m sick is the already dysfunctional nose problems I have (see No. 82 and 87). In the last few days I have gone through four Kleenex boxes and am still going strong. Do you know how many snotty-nosed kids in Africa my over-consumption would service?

I must say I am glad for drugs. Lots of them. When I was sick during my pregnancy, I was an absolute wreck. Jamie is my druggist because the guy knows everything about every supplement on the earth. This turned out to be detrimental because he also knew all the things I couldn’t have at that time.

Whilst suffering with Bronchitis mere weeks before having Bode, Jamie discovered a bottle of nose drops sitting on my nightstand

“Amber, you haven’t been using these, have you?”

“Of course I have. It’s the only thing that helps me breathe since you’ve banned all the decongestants from me.”

“You’re not supposed to have nose drops. They are BAD.”

“Why would they be bad? It’s not like they’re going into my system to harm the baby. They’re just staying and floating around in my nose.”

“Not going into your system? Are you nuts? Maybe you’ve never heard of a little high called snorting cocaine. Also ingested through the nasal passages.”


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