A Tale of Two Pumpkins

September 29, 2010 By

Saturday was the best of times, it was the worst of times.

Jamie had high hopes for this season and at one point, his pumpkin, “Redemption Boy,” was on track to weigh 1,100 pounds.

Until its growth started tanking in September.

In the end, Jamie hoped to just break 1,000 pounds, which would have been very possible because it was measuring out to weigh around 955 pounds.

In giant-pumpkin growing, pumpkins can either go “light” or “heavy” in either direction. It is impossible to know which way it will skew until it finally hits the scales.

Jared’s Nursery hosts the weigh-off and has beefed up the event to also include a Fall Festival with goodies such as a haunted house, obstacle course, s’mores, food and face painting.


Jamie is part of the Rocky Mountain Giant Vegetable Growers Group that organizes the event. In addition to giant pumpkins, there were also pears, watermelon and squash so freakishly large you’d swear you had been plunked onto the set of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.



Anticipation was high when it was time for Jamie’s pumpkin to get weighed in.


Well, for some of us. In Bode’s defense, Super Mario passes the time when you’re stuck in the hot sun for four hours.

Like a nervous new papa, Jamie watched as they loaded up his pumpkin and placed it on the Biggest Loser-esque scale.

Only on this scale, you want big numbers.

Unfortunately for Jamie, he didn’t get them. His pumpkin went 16% light and only weighed in at 820 pounds.


This is still impressive and his personal best but he was visibly disappointed his pumpkin did not break 1,000 pounds. However, he still has another pumpkin to be weighed at yet another competition this weekend.

Such is my life during the fall.

The kids entered their pumpkin as well. Shockingly,their 208.5-pound pumpkin not only won but it set a new Colorado state record in the children’s division.

Bode was busy scoring five goals (!) at his soccer game so Hadley was their sole representative. However a few minutes prior to the awards ceremony, her upper left leg got stung by a bee rendering her incapable of walking. Or so she thought.

When her name was called, Hadley dramatically limped to the stage, further augmenting the cheers as I’m sure people thought “How amazing that little invalid girl grew that big pumpkin!” She even forced a smile. She is, after all, a crowd-pleaser.


And I may-or-may-not have threatened her to do so.


What prizes did the kids win for such an accomplishment?

A membership into the Rocky Mountain Giant Vegetable Growers Group and a bag of fertilizer. Oh, and a club T-shirt that should have read:

I won the state title and all I got was some cow dung and this crappy T-shirt.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

It’s a Denver Pumpkin Parrrrrrrrr-tay!

September 28, 2010 By

If you hate pumpkins, do not return to this blog until after October. Wait. Even after all the pumpkin parties and the weigh-offs, there is fall soil prep, winter seed obsession and it starts all over again with spring planting.

If you don’t like pumpkins, you simply will not like this blog.

Or cool chicks who spray-paint orange streaks in their hair for the festivities.

It has been a whirlwind week of pumpkins and more pumpkins that is best documented in pictures.

Friday was our 2nd Annual Big Pumpkin Party.


When my blogging bud JoAnn told someone she was going to a big pumpkin party, her friend commented it sounded like a huge crowd.

“No,” she replied. “I mean a BIG PUMPKIN party.”

And that it was.

But it was also big as in “a whole lotta people in attendance.” We estimate we had around 80-100 people stop by.

This year, I requested that guests bring their favorite pumpkin treat and lo did they deliver.

We had pumpkin gingerbread trifle, cakes, fudge, pies, crisp, ice cream, cookies and the crowd favorite: pumpkin egg rolls.

In addition to eating Everything Pumpkin, the itinerary at a Big Pumpkin Party consisted of cutting the pumpkins off the vine and hauling them. We started with Haddie and Bode’s pumpkin.



Next was the bigger challenge: Redemption Boy. And yes, Jamie names his pumpkins. This nomenclature was in reference to his pumpkin that got wiped out last year by the tornado.

He grows his giants on the property behind our house. Our neighbor has a forklift and that is exactly what was needed to haul this beast. First item of business: putting on the lifting straps.

Next, they hooked it up to the forklift. Special thanks to our friend Andy for saving Jamie’s life by driving.


(Jamie somehow thought he could operate it after a mere 5-minute lesson. Cough, cough)

Once it was successfully hooked up, Jamie checked the bottom of the pumpkin for any cracks that would disqualify it from competition. Believe it or not, people cheat by injecting water to increase the weight.


Once he gave it the thumbs-up, the crowd erupted into cheers. Actually, the highlight of the entire evening for me (besides all the pumpkin food) was seeing how enraptured everyone was by the process.


Except for Bode. My shy little guy was overwhelmed by all the people and kept begging me to go home and watch Wipeout. When the ceremony was completed, I let him do it with the promise that he would imagine the big balls as big pumpkins.


If you’ve never watched Wipeout, you will have no idea what that means.

Even the media made an appearance at the Big Pumpkin Party to interview Jamie.


I’ll be sure to include that link once it is published. He was also interviewed by the Mormon Times. I was responsible for pitching the story to both publications.

Just call me the Pumpkin’s Publicist.

Though as the event wound down, my neighbor Keith christened me, “The First Lady of the Pumpkin.”


Though no one will ever come close to being The Lord of the Gourds.

Stay tuned for the disappointments and triumphs of the big weigh-off.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

And I thought I was only PG-rated

September 27, 2010 By

My sister-in-law Jane emailed me to say she logged onto my blog this morning to find out the details on The Great Pumpkin’s final weight.

(As a side note, I will post this information just as soon as I have a minute. I’ve been kinda busy with pumpkin parties, weigh-offs and in-laws).

Anyhew, for the first time, she was blocked by her work’s web administration. The message she received:

This site has been blocked by digital security because classified under the P*ornography category.

Consider yourselves warned.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, pumpkins

When you can’t argue with that logic

September 22, 2010 By

Because it the most important week of the year for the Canuck Clan, everything is falling apart at the seams.

Bode has been battling a cough and stuffy nose and Hadley woke up yesterday with a sore throat.

This is all in time for the pumpkin festivities this weekend and the Cavalia preview tonight. This equestrian counterpart to the Cirque du Soleil is THE must-attend-event of the fall.

And we may not be attending it.

We put the kids to bed early last night and hoped to let them sleep a bit later so they could stay out tonight. Fat Kitty had another plan when he woke Hadley up at 6 a.m., who then returned the favor to Bode.

Fat Kitty is in the doghouse.

Not exactly a good place for a cat to be.

I am battling killer allergies, exhaustion and what I hope will not be the start of a cold so I kept Bode home from preschool with me. Activities are limited when sick and unmotivated so I let him watch back-to-back episodes on TV. After three, I cut him off.

“Mommy, I want to watch more.”
“You’ve already watched too many.”
“I only watched one!”
“You watched THREE.” (And proceeded to list them off.)
“Dat’s not too many.”
“Oh really? So what is?”
“100.”

It’s going to be a long day.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Humor

Does obsessing about not obsessing make you an obsessor?

September 20, 2010 By

I’m usually a busy gal but the next two weeks, I’ll be drowning. Last week, I barely survived a gubernatorial forum I helped coordinate (details at Mile High Mamas today)
(Some of my fellow bloggers and me hanging out with Dan Maes, Republican candidate for governor.)

Tomorrow, my in-laws are coming into town for a week. The reason? It’s the big Pumpkin Party on Friday and weigh-off on Saturday. I’m doing a contest at Mile High Mamas: guess the Great Pumpkin’s weight. The closest person will win 10 tickets to Elitch Garden’s Fright Fest. If you’re not local, I have a $25 Target gift card up for grabs.

It’s taking a lot of self-control not to use that one for myself.

Add the pumpkin chaos to that fact we’ll be juggling both kids’ soccer games, preview night at acclaimed Cavalia, a quickie trip to California next week and oh, did I mention my in-laws are in town?

Good times!

I still haven’t had time to address my Asian spammer problem in my comment section so that still remains temporarily closed. Facebook has provided a fabulous avenue for friend/reader feedback but little did I know, last week would produce a doozy by my simple status update:

Does the fact I’m obsessing over not obsessing that Jamie put the toilet paper roll on backwards mean that I am, in actuality, obsessing?

Seem like a (un)reasonable question, right? Let me clarify something for those of you who are poisoning this world with your incorrect practices.

The right way:
The wrong way:

Read the responses it solicited.

-Aubrey yes. haha.
- Paul Not at all, no normal person does that.
-Steve Which way is backwards? Over or under?
-Tami LOL! That drives me insane! Except the last time it was put on backwards, my 5 year old put it on. Suddenly, it was incredibly cute to have the toilet paper roll on backwards.
-Mona uhhhmm NO!! :)
-Shana Backwards? My mom and brother used to argue about the ‘proper’ way to put toilet paper on the the holder. My answer: “it is bum-wipe. Who cares??”
-Me Backwards is under, of course!
-Dori It HAS to go over, definitely!
-Chris Haha! I’ve posted about the same thing – so no, you’re not obsessing. ;-)
And that’s right, backwards is UNDER! Danny puts it on that way every time, and I immediately turn it over, every time. We’ll probably still be doing it when we’re 100…
-Stacey There is nothing wrong with obsessing about some things – the toilet paper roll being on backwards (or under) will cause me to lose sleep!
-Cheryl I even will turn the toilet paper over in other people’s homes. But I don’t obsess.
-Dori That is hilarious, Cheryl!!! I’m glad you’re not the obsessive type! LOL.
-Kellie LOL – one of my kids put it on backwards last week and I had to tie my hands down to keep from switching it to the “right” way.
-David Having traveled extensively, I now realize there are two kinds of people in the world: Those who prefer toilet paper “over the top” and those who do it wrong.
-Keith Did you actually change it? There is an easy way to stop the obsession. Just get the kind of toilet paper holder that is like a hook where you can slide the roll on and off so it’s an easy fix and is never a big deal.
-Me I did not change it. Doing so would be like admitting I have a problem. :)
-Lori Amber sweety… It’s OK. I don’t want your brain to break!
-David Amber, changing it simply means Jamie has a problem and you are fixing it.
-Paul No, Amber, you would be FIXING the problem.
-Camille This is also a pet peeve at our house.
-Kaylene Which way is backwards? That is the question of the day? My way is always backwards to most of the world. Luckily Mark and I are the same when it comes to this issue.
-Shana Oh…….. this whole thing is SOOOOOOOOO funny
-Lisa After obsessing on this for a while, I would say… yes.
-Kaylene I started doing it with the paper coming out from under because then my kiddos couldn’t start running through the house with it coming off the top. I never returned to the normal way. I am doomed.
- David I vote we all get together and TP Kaylene’s house because she is one of “them”. jk.
-Kaylene I could use a year’s supply…
-Jen Hey, at least he puts it on! Never happens here!
-Me Don’t worry, Kaylene. We’ll just sent Cheryl over to your house. As she’s already confessed, she changes other people’s TP rolls, too.

============

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who needs OCD therapy.

I ♥ my friends!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor

When in Exile: Virginia Beach or Bust Part II

September 17, 2010 By

Prior to reading this, be sure to check out When in Exile: Virginia Beach or Bust Part I to find out how we so admiringly made lemonade out of Hurricane Earl’s sour lemons.

These two are to blame thank for our entire trip to the Outer Banks, our evacuation and welp, my entire sordid existence.

And all of their existences, too.


(Back: Brother Pat, sister-in-law Jane, Bode, brother Jade, Jamie, Moi, cousin Emily, Ashton, baby Naomi. Frontish: Mom, cousin Jaxon, Dad, cousin Connor, Haddie and Arianna).

My brother Jade now lives in New Jersey and is well-acquainted (or at least better-acquainted) with Virginia Beach and led us down to the waterfront. Over 40 high-rise hotels lined the beach as roller-bladers, joggers and multi-person bikes for 2, 4 and even 6 people zoomed along the bike path.

Though it was Labor Day weekend, the area was still recovering from the storm and the small seaside amusement park was closed.

And so we took in the boardwalk.


I was moderately taken with it all until I attempted to shop in one of the many tacky tourist shops. Then some areas became overcome by drunken revelries. My distaste deepened when the pier we wanted to check out charged money.


Last I checked, “spectating” was free.


At least that is how it was in the glorious and pristine Outer Banks.

We’ll be back.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family, Family travel Tagged With:

When in Exile: Virginia Beach or Bust Part I

September 15, 2010 By

Here’s the not-so funny thing about being evacuated for a Hurricane. You go from this in the Outer Banks:


To this in Suffolk, a dreary inland suburb of Norfolk.


As an exiled family well-versed in making lemonade out of lemons, we congregated at the Virginia Beach Aquarium and Marine Science Center. I’ll admit it: my expectations were low. And they were very happily exceeded as we explored 300 interactive exhibits about marshes, the bay and the Atlantic Ocean.


Though the outdoor aviary, nature trail, and marshlands were closed due to the rain, the entire family loved discovering thousands of animals representing over 300 species.


In case you could not tell, Bode has forgotten how to smile in pictures and instead opts for an opt-mouthed gasp.

The kids loved the 3D IMAX® Theatre’s production on Dolphins and Whales.


Though evidently sweet Bode also struggles with the concept of wearing glasses.

The Crazy Canuck Clan had one must-visit restaurant: Dirty Dicks Crab House (mostly so we could say we did this):

We were evacuated from the Outer Banks before this dream came to fruition but were delighted to discover DD was in Virginia Beach. But all our hopes were for naught. After driving around aimlessly, we learned that Dear Ol’ Dirty Dicks had closed down and so we got our crabs at Hooks Saltwater Grill & Sushi.


Sadly, it just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Stay tuned for When in Exile: Virginia Beach or Bust Part II

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Hadley, Humor, travel Tagged With:

Crabbing by night and my family’s forray into darkness

September 14, 2010 By

I have an ultra-competitive family. This is amazing to me for the sole reason that my parents are not overly competitive. Sure, they encouraged us to do our best and exposed us to many different activities. But there is an internal killer drive that I share with my brothers Pat and Jade.

In our schooling years, the result was excelling in pretty much every sport we played. In our over-the-hill years, the scenario is completely different:

When we vacationed at Tie Lake, B.C., we dressed in camouflage as we waged war on capturing the most turtles.

In croquet, our mallets become our weapons in the game we renamed, “Blood Sport.”

Whilst in the Outer Banks, our competition de choix was crab hunting.

When I was younger, my family enjoyed vacationing on Vancouver Island and crab fishing off the docks of Sydney. Back in The Day, we had all the fixins that included traps and bait.

In the Outer Banks, we had three things: Buckets, flashlights and our freakishly superhuman speed.

Work with me, here.

My mom also bought the men crab-hunting uniforms.

Jamie, Pat, Jade and Dad

Those decapod crustaceans didn’t stand a chance against us.

After dark when the waves would roll in, crabs would wash up onto the shore. They’d scurry around at warp speed before plunging back into the ocean.

Enter: The Crazy Canuck Clan.

We had two divisions of crabbers: the spotters and the catchers. The spotters were in charge of the flashlights and following the crabs’ every moves. The catchers were responsible for running around screaming like the Tasmanian Devil whilst trying to scoop the crabs up into their buckets.

I obviously excelled at the latter.

Bode was superior at the former.


When he remembered to actually point his flashlight at the crabs, that is.

The final standings of our crabbing competition?

The winner:

My niece Ashton. This mother-of-two was a force to be reckoned with. So superior were her skills that on our final night, she even caught one backhanded.

If this mothering thing doesn’t work out, she has crabbing to fall back on.

The Loser:

The Lord of the Gourds. On the first night, a crab raced over Jamie’s foot and he squealed like a girl. My beloved honey tried to redeem himself by capturing eight crabs the following night but the damage was done. So disturbing was his initial display that for the remainder of our crab hunting days, my family warned “Not to pull a Jamie.”

I always knew he should be a verb.

Most improved:

Hadley. For our first several nights, Hadley raced around like the rest of us but was a bit too squeamish to delve in for the kill (or rather, catch. And then release). But on our final night, she proclaimed she was ready and my family banded to together in the assist.

At the end of the evening, she jubilantly caught five crabs.

And she then threw a colossal fit as we left the beach because “I WANNA STAY AND CATCH SIX CRABS!”

She was officially inducted into the Crazy Canuck Competitive Hall of Fame.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Family, Family travel, Favorite Posts, Hadley, Humor, Jamie Tagged With:

Kicking off another attempt at soccer

September 13, 2010 By

Two years ago:

Last weekend:

(Hadley and BFF Alex, 2 years wiser and with a lot less teeth. Especially Hadley. She lost #7 that night, which was her third tooth loss in a week. She is now relegated to a liquid-only diet).


On Saturday, community soccer kicked off and for the first time, both my kids played.

Jamie and I enrolled 6-year-old Hadley a couple of years ago but she went on a two-year sabbatical after a disappointing season of general apathy and lack of killer instinct.

In her defense, her team name was the Butterflies. Not exactly cutthroat.

This time around, things were better.

Well, with the exception of the administration staff who somehow forgot to inform parents we didn’t have a coach until a few days prior.

It could have been the Lord of the Flies, soccer-style.

Oblivious to the pre-season drama, Hadley was excited to play and it showed. Not only did she actually attempt to touch the ball, she even scored.

Four-year-old Bode was the dark horse. Though he took to skiing, swimming and softball like a pro this past year, he is generally reluctant when attempting new activities. Coach Eric held a half-hour practice before the game and Bode was among the smallest and slowest on Team Dragon.

I held my breath as the game started. There were three players on the field and Bode was on the starting line-up with his best friend Seanie. The first half of the game was like a comedy show gone bad: running, tripping and general confusion.

A few preschoolers figured it out but Bode was not among them. When we took a break at halftime, he complained, “My dragon legs are hurting.”

At least he was getting into the spirit of it all.

My husband Jamie became his personal trainer. After massaging his hamstrings, he gave him a pep talk and promise of a candy bar if he scored.

Everyone has their own motivational strategies.

Something clicked with Bode that second half. He started dribbling. He didn’t give up. And dare I say there was a glimmer of that oh-so-coveted killer instinct.

He went on to score three goals, the second most on his team.

Not that I was keeping track.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor

Making the Tooth Fairy work overtime

September 10, 2010 By

Only Hadley would finally lose her fifth tooth.

You know: the one that has been precariously loose for weeks now….


On the very night Hurricane Earl arrived.

=================

Four days later, we were at a neighborhood BBQ for Labor Day. Hadley had another front tooth that was loose. Our Cat Sitter Sadie (a third grader, well attuned to the world of teeth-pulling) graciously yanked it out for Hadley.

She then sweetly proposed that she should be rewarded half of Haddie’s Tooth Fairy earnings for her involvement.

She has a future with the IRS.

Or Canadian government.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor Tagged With:
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