“The Close”: The Glory Days Relived

July 28, 2014 By

Riding Grandma and Grandpa’s golf cart is one of the highlights of visiting. I much preferred it when the kids were young and my dad chauffeured them around but now they’re getting older and they want to (gulp), drive. I’d have no problem with them taking the wheel if they weren’t brain damaged (almost) teenagers but we all know children of a certain age are lacking in mental faculties like rational thinking.

Magical mornings on “The Close”

Never mind it’s also illegal.

The morning after our cousins Connor and Jaxson arrived, all the kids were up waking up terrorizing the neighborhood in the golf cart. It brought back awesome memories…not of traumatizing the block but of just how incredible it was to grow up here. I reminisced with my childhood friends about it on Facebook and my friend Stacey B. nailed it perfectly:

We had everything – an alley, crabapple trees, the gully, the golf course, neighbours that we loved and could trust – remember our block parties? Whole neighbourhood gathering for a BBQ. On the Close, we were more than just neighbours – we were truly family!

“The Close” is much different now. My parents are the only original owners. Most have moved or passed away, the population aging and the sounds of children’s laughter have dimmed except for the occasional visit of grandchildren. Stacey agreed.

I would love to go and knock on each door and explain to them how it once was! Tell them to gather their grandchildren and make it like it used to be! We truly couldn’t have had better childhoods – we could roam free all throughout our area – we knew we would be safe because somebody was always watching ot for us! Even when we were being “bad” – that just meant we were eating the crabapples off of somebody else’s tree! LOL

Ahh, the good ‘ol days!!!!

At one point, I looked out the window and saw 11-year-old Connor driving the golf court with three babes on the back, two of whom are not related to us.

I guess they start early in my brother’s family.

“Who on earth are they?” I queried and found out the kids had met them when walking the dogs. Ella is Hadley’s age and her sister is Bode’s age, which made them all instant BFFs because there’s no one else around.

At one point, I looked at Connor flipping doughnuts on the huge lawn area in front of the house. Bode had just come out of the shower and I expressed my concerns to him.

“I don’t mind you kids riding the golf cart but I get really nervous when he makes fast, sharp turns like that. It would be all too easy to flip the cart.”

“Do you want me to keep an eye on them, Mom?”

“Why don’t you do that, Son.”

Filed Under: Bode, Humor

“Upscale” Selfies at The Broadmoor?

July 23, 2014 By

I’ve long written about my family’s love affair with The Broadmoor, a glorious AAA Five-Diamond resort in Colorado Springs. I feel honored to be among several esteemed writers who contribute to their glossy, upscale magazine. Their latest edition was published and their PR director sent a few copies I have yet to see because the kids and I are still on our month-long road trip.

Horseback riding Hadley and family canoeing

Jamie took a couple of pictures for me and my jaw dropped when I saw what they published in the table of contents and also on the lead page of my story. He joked, “all the following stories are your typical stock-type photos of beautiful children wearing beautiful clothes in The Broadmoor’s beautiful setting.”

I was asked to write about the Ranch at Emerald Valley, their new wilderness enclave that redefines luxury in a gorgeous mountain setting. The kids had a professional photographer shadowing them most of the day (read: child models) but since they wanted me to write the article through my children’s eyes, we set them loose with a camera and my iPhone to take their own pictures.

And then, I present unto you this:

Nothing like keeping it classy with Bode selfies.

Table of contents

Funny back story: we surprised the kids with this trip by waking them up and telling them we were going that morning. The night before was full of meltdowns. One of Bode’s teeth was falling out and it was sticking straight out like Billy Bob. Knowing he’d be photographed the next day, we were insistent that tooth needed to come out, which for him, was equal unto being sent to the guillotine and it took us 1.5 hours of freakouts/crying/wailing before he let us pull the tooth.

Next time, I’m just tying the tooth to Fat Kitty, yelling “FOOD” and letting it rip.

How’s that for a future Broadmoor feature story?

Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Humor

Fish Creek Provincial Park: A river-playing, mud-flinging, biking wonderland

July 22, 2014 By

When your childhood backyard is one of the largest urban parks in North America, there are endless adventures for discovering. I practically grew up in Fish Creek Provincial Park. If we weren’t biking, we were hiking, picnicking, bonfiring, and swimming in Sikome Lake.

The morning after I arrived in Calgary, Dad and I hit the trail for a resplendent ride through the park.

It truly is one of my happy places and who can blame me with views like this?

On another realllllly hot day, we took the PT Cruiser convertible out for a spin and hit one of Calgary’s hundreds of free Stampede pancake breakfasts.

Still trying to teach Dad how to do selfies. In his defense, he was kinda driving.

The kids then jumped right into Fish Creek fully clothed.

If you’re judging me for that, you’ll be exceedingly dismayed over our next display at the mud pits at Fish Creek.

We discovered them a few years ago. A few people splashing in the river would disappear for a while and then come back caked in mud. We decided to investigate and after a short, steep hike we discovered these pits tucked away covertly in the cliffs hugging the creek. Now, it is an annual tradition! We introduced my brother Jade’s family and my sister-in-law Jane’s little sister Diane’s family from Washington.

They were just as disgusted (and disgusting) as we were.

Quite predictably, most of the boys loved playing in the mud but these beauties, Hadley and Isabelle, took it one step further. Long after the boys had jumped in the river to clean off, these young ladies were milking it in. Or rather, mudding it.

Yes, that is a mud crown Queen Hadley made for herself.

I’m going to frame this picture and give it to her future husband.

Fortunately, our swimming hole in Fish Creek provided for a lovely respite as the kids jumped off the huge boulders, played in the sand and caught minnows.

Who’s in for Mud Pits 2015 next year?!

Filed Under: Bode, Canada, Family, Hadley

Happy 8th Birthday to My Bode-man!

July 18, 2014 By

“This is what it’s like to be a king.” While eating your unlimited corn dogs at Elitch Gardens’ VIP preview party

Dear Bode,

I can’t believe you’re turning 8! This is a huge deal: You will soon be baptized, start Cub Scouts and enter third grade. Every year you grow to be more fun, smart and endearing. Though you’re becoming independent, you always take the time to snuggle up to your mom and shower me with love and kisses–just not around your buddies because you are, after all, a boy’s boy and have to save face with them. Except for when you saw a golf-ball-sized bee, in which case all of you “ran away in terror.” Your words, not mine.

You enjoy playing soccer every fall and spring, basketball in the winter, racing down the ski slopes, jamming on the piano, riding your bike, snuggling (read: mauling) Fat Kitty and growing giant pumpkins (your beast was 420 pounds last season). You are torn between being highly disciplined and loving video games like Minecraft while agonizing that they’re not good for you so have settled on a reasonable schedule so “I don’t get addicted.”

A parent-less week at Camp Chief Ouray

The other day you told me that when you are a dad, you will have your kids give you 50% of what they earn. When I responded that seemed like a lot and would you like me to take half of what you make, you had to reconsider. You ultimately decided 1/4 and then 1/8 of future earnings was more amenable so I look forward to my future kid taxes.

When I started boot camp this year from 6:30-7:30 a.m., I worried about you and your sister being responsible enough to get ready yourselves but I need not have fretted. In fact, you set your alarm clock early because you like to be “extra prepared” and that rings true in everything in your life. Your second grade teacher tracked all good and bad behavior by tallying up “Class DoJo points” and wouldn’t you know it, you were the very top of your class at year’s–in grades and behavior. The comments from your teachers on your report card ranged from “he is a joy,” to a “role model” and I beam with pride in knowing that you’re a good, selfless person and are always looking out for others first. A classic example is that Hadley hates the lemon-flavored gummy vitamins, and even though you don’t like them either, you always trade with her so she doesn’t have to eat them. That, my friend, is love.

A few years ago, I threw your dad a surprise 40th birthday party and you begged for us to do the same for you. We figured your 8th birthday was an important one so we rented a 32-foot mobile video game theater from Rolling Video Games Denver, had 14 of your besties hide in it and surprise you. Of course, you were shocked and then elated, repeating “I had no idea.” Your sheer joy will likely only be comparable to your wedding day and maybe the birth of your firstborn child. So long as its name is Steve. If you love Minecraft, you’ll totally get the reference.

Surprise!

Shock

The Motley Crew

You’re a numbers person and thrive in goal-setting while tracking your progress. Dad challenged you to read a pretty lofty amount of scripture before you are baptized in Aug. and you cranked it out in a few weeks. When I ask you to do something, you do it without questioning my motives, which is a far cry from when you were three and we had you clean out the ditch in the backyard. Not only did you revolt and cry, you made up a secret language you heatedly muttered under your breath as you worked, which sounded an awful lot like preschooler swear words.

Obsessive sand castle builder, Maui

We’ve had a fabulous year of travel: The AAA Five-Diamond Broadmoor in Colorado Springs and multiple ski trips. I was so proud when you delved right in as the sled’s driver when we dog-sledded in Breckenridge and had a blast spending Christmas in Utah. Last summer you, Hadley and I did a 3,000-mile trip that covered two countries and seven states (Colorado, Montana, Wyoming, Washington, Oregon, Idaho and Utah) and we’re currently in the middle of that same adventure because apparently we weren’t crazy enough the first time. We recently returned from Disneyland and Maui, which basically means this was our best travel year ever.

You recently returned from a week at Camp Chief Ouray in the mountains and I love that you are always ready to delve into new discoveries. You recently announced to me how much you love road trips and I couldn’t wait to hear the reason. Was it the prospect of discovering a new far-flung destination? Our fascinating conversations en route? Nope, it was because “I get to play unlimited video games while we’re driving” and that is why “getting there is half the fun” in your book.

Oh, and when I asked you where you dream destination is now that we’ve gone to Maui, you commented, “A place that doesn’t eat too much fish like Australia.” Hate to tell you, Dude, but it’s surrounded by water but I’m with you on boycotting seafood.

My favorite time with you is early in the morning when you curl up in bed with me and we sleepily talk about our dreams. I know you won’t be little forever so I cherish these moments. Just know that however big you are, your dreams will always be safe with me.

Love,

Mother

=====

For a stroll down memory lane, birthday letters 1, 2, 3, 4,  5,  6, and 7 (though the pictures no longer show due to switching blog platforms).

Timbits birthday breakfast at the Lake House

Filed Under: birthday, Bode, Humor

When the cat’s away, the mouse will play

July 15, 2014 By

Sure, poor Jamie is left alone for much of July as we embark on our 3,000-mile Canadian road-trip every summer but don’t feel too badly for him. He’s working a ton (like always) but apparently he’s finding time for play, as was evidenced by this discovery I made.

As some of you know, Jamie donated one of his pumpkins to Elitch Gardens, our awesome 70-acre amusement park and water park in downtown Denver.

When I was on Twitter the other day, I read this tweet from Elitch.

Apparently The Pumpkin Man is making some celebrity appearances in my absence but it makes me wonder if he will now expect us to call him The Pumpkin Whisperer?

Follow Elitch Gardens’ pumpkin “Cornelius Longbottom” on their Twitter feed here and of course, go to denverpumpkins.com for Jamie’s pumpkin updates (he’s on track for another 1,000+ lbs pumpkin). The beast will soon start putting on 30-40 pounds a day!

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

Ice, Ice, Baby

July 15, 2014 By

A blast from the past….

There are three words whose perfection and beauty are unsurpassed in the English language:

NO ASSEMBLY REQUIRED.

(What? Did you think I was going to be a sentimental fool and profess something sappy like “I love you?”)

I have been mechanically-challenged my entire life. I will admit it is part laziness, part impatience, part knowing there is a man somewhere to help me and part incompetence. The most part.

Once upon a time, I destroyed our refrigerator’s ice machine. If you missed that doozy of a confession, just know it involved black nail polish and a grinder. And an inordinate amount of dark, goopy ugliness.

I am an ice addict and a day without cubes is like a day without a hit for a junkie. So,

CLICK TO KEEP READING

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Day of rest?

July 13, 2014 By

I’ll admit it. I was feeling a wee bit depressed on the first day the kids were at Camp Chief Ouray. Since I’ve been going non-stop since summer break started, I opted to force myself to stay inside, chill out and get some work done. To emphasize my point I stayed in my bathrobe and vowed to Jamie that Fat Kitty and I would be working from bed all day long. The good man that he is, Jamie ordered in lunch and dinner and we ate from bed.

By mid-afternoon, I moved to my office but I was still unshowered and in my bathrobe. Jamie walked by and looked at me quizzically.

Me: “I had to move from my bed because it was hurting my back to type on my computer.”

Him: “Who knew laziness could be so painful?”

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

When Murphy’s Law rules your life

July 12, 2014 By

I come to Canada every summer to avoid Denver’s miserably hot July. We’re Vernon, B.C.-bound tomorrow for the week.

The irony of the forecast is not lost on me.

Filed Under: Canada

It’s Canada Day (and that other American holiday)

July 9, 2014 By

I’ve long whined that no one ever comes to visit me in Colorado. I mean, how could they not? Colorado is gloriously gorgeous and one of the top tourist destinations in the United States. I now realize that it’s because I never actually invite anyone and having an “open invitation” isn’t enough.

Case in point: I invited my childhood bestie Stacey to come visit and she came. Imagine that! Not only did she fly down to visit me but she somehow agreed to accompany the kids and me on our two-day drive back to Calgary at the end of the week. Now, that is friendship.

And being the swell friend that she is, she brought the kids Canada T-shirts and I’m sure she bought out the Motherland’s maple leaf paraphernalia so we could celebrate Canada Day!

We kicked off the holiday by a glorious hike around Evergreen Lake and, of course, I converted yet another person to Country Road Cafe.

Evergreen Lake


One of the reasons why I love our summer hiking group is because it’s not just about the hiking, it’s about falling in love with the outdoors and truly exploring. It took us nearly 2 hours to hike the 1.3-mile loop around the lake because of stops like this by Evergreen Dam.

A visit to Colorado isn’t complete without stopping by Red Rocks, one of the most famous concert venues in the world.

I won’t mention how Hadley kicked my butt on a race up the stairs. Am I really getting that old or maybe she’s just getting that fast.

That night, there were revelries. Maple leaves. Red and white. Yummy food. Canadian geography puzzles. And a whole lotta fun.

I forgave Hadley for kicking my butt when she not only painted her face red-and-white but insisted on doing mine as well.

Fat Kitty was not impressed with the celebration.

Fat Dude wouldn’t even hold the hockey stick I tried to put in his paw.

It is just me or has Jamie never looked hotter?

A few days later, we threw yet another party with friends but this time with red, white, blue and pies….

Not to mention star-styled hair.

And since the fireworks are shot above our neighborhood, we had to throw another party.


Sadly, this is the only picture I got of the whole evening. No disrespect to the Americans but after a cram-packed week and throwing two fetes, I was all partied out.

There’s a first time for everything.

Filed Under: Bode, Canada, Colorado, Hadley, hiking, Humor

Family Travel: Keeping it Real (or really painful)

July 8, 2014 By

I have always loved to travel. The problem is, travel has not always loved me. I once journeyed to France for a wedding, only to get lost and miss the entire celebration.

I built a career as a travel writer by writing a humor column about my mishaps. During a meeting with my editor, I made reference to one of my misfortunes on the trail and he professed, “You mean this stuff really happens? I thought you were making it up because there is no way all that could happen to one person!”

Welcome to my life.

When I had a family, there were understandably even more challenges. While so many writers expound upon their tried and true tips for “The Perfect Family Vacation,” I keep it real. Family travel is about survival. The only two things that keep me sane are my sense of humor and a huge dose of denial. Maybe Prozac would help, too.

Just not Tylenol PM.

I am currently embarking on a month-long, 3,000-mile drive home to Canada with my children and I confirmed that I am the Real[ist] Family Travel Writer. For this trip, I am the solo driver and we groggily awoke at 6 a.m. after a day of revelries and fireworks to hit the road. I wasn’t feeling well so I popped a pain killer in my mouth. A pain killer that turned out to be Tylenol PM.

Click to keep reading. If you dare.

Filed Under: Family travel, Humor
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