How (not) to compliment a woman

Sure, I enjoy occasionally getting gussied up but the majority of the time, this tomboy prefers to be low-maintenance.

Last week with my mom in town, I had a lesson in high-maintenance. Not only does she put on her make-up the moment she wakes up, she is always dressed to the nines. Despite the fact she has trouble walking, we shopped non-stop all week…until I could barely walk.

Mom gets her hair done weekly and I knew she’d feel much better if we went to the salon (my visits are, shall we say, not as regular). After my haircut, I told the stylist to blow my hair out straight for something different.

Lo, I didn’t know it would get such a reaction. As we were driving home, Mom commented, “Jamie is going to love it!”

“No, he won’t. When we were first married, he said he would never ever comment on my hair or a new cut. It’s his way of saving himself from being an unobservant husband.”

True to form, he didn’t say a word. When I called him out on it, his defense, “Oh, I noticed but remember my promise to you?”

When I picked Bode up from school, I had forgotten all about my hair. I saw him pause at the doorway before racing over to me and demanding, “Why do you look like that?”

Followed by: “Seriously, WHAT HAPPENED?”

Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut like his father.

Then, we had Hadley’s carpool friends. When I walked up to them, Hadley shouted, “WOWOWOOWOW,” followed by these comments from the peanut gallery.

“It looks so much better.” -Bryan

“Keep it like that.” -Morgan.”

“No, go back to being fuzzy.” -Hadley

Maybe I’ll just shave my hair to spare myself the drama next time.


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