Life With Three Children

Kid #1: Hadley

Every year, our church puts on a Nativity pageant for the community. In years past, it has been a pretty low-key event with beautiful music and a reenactment of the story of Jesus’ birth. This year, they upped the ante to make it more professional. They pre-recorded all the speaking parts, had a killer sound system and beautiful Christmas music playing in the background.

I was impressed.

Several of my peers were cast in the various roles and they lip synced their lines. At times, they came across a bit stoically but overall they did a great job in this amateur production.

Hadley, the future theatre critic, did not share our sentiments. Near the conclusion while the rest of us were moved by the spirit of the evening, Hadley turned to Jamie and very loudly asked:

“Is that the best they can do?”

Kid #2: The Son

My neighbors are looking into a preschool for their son Gavin. They recently asked me how I like Bode’s school and if I recommend it. I mentioned it to Bode.

“Bode, guess what? Gavin might be attending your preschool!”
“Which Gavin?”
“Our neighbor.”
“I know three Gavins!”
“Really? Who are they?”
“Well, their names are Gavin, Gavin and Gavin!”


Kid #3: The Father

Before we were married, Jamie was addicted to a little show the nation loves called The Simpson’s. I am not among the populace of adoring fans and cringe at the thought of my children watching its crude humor.

So imagine how thrilled I was when I discovered father and daughter guffawing along with Bart.

“No, no, no!” I objected. “It’s bad enough YOU have to watch it but to expose our innocent child to Homer?”

“Honey,” Jamie reasoned. “Studies have shown that children can actually learn more by watching The Simpson’s than Barney. Of course, the backlash of this study is the things they subsequently learned are morally wrong.”


Addendum: Once upon a time, the following conversation was overheard while Jamie watched Chevy Chase’s Vacation with 3-year-old Hadley.

“Daddy, what are they doing?”

“Looking for a place to dispose of the body, Sweetie.”

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