Jamie: [Fondly] Do you remember you were wearing that sweater when we met?
Me: Holy crap–that was six years ago. I NEED NEW CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Unsolved Mysteries:The Costa Rica Honeymoon Edition
January 28, 2009 By
In just a few weeks, my beloved James and I will celebrate our six-year anniversary. We have certainly had our fair share of crazy moments but the one that has kept me up at nights in a stupor of thought occurred shortly after we were married.
You see, Jamie and I spent our honeymoon in Costa Rica. Ma honey did an impeccable job planning our entire trip. We started at the Magellan Inn in Cahuita. With its deserted beaches on the Caribbean ocean and gorgeous grounds, this was the perfect newlywed spot.
Well, if it weren’t for the “chastity” beds they had pushed together instead of just springing for a queen-sized bed.
From there, it was onto Poas Volcano Lodge where we scaled volcanos and hiked through La Paz Butterfly Gardens. Oh, and I fell in love with plantains and a roadside stand’s creme de leche, those two things alone accounted for my 30-lbs weight gain during our honeymoon.
Half-way into our trip, we were supposed to spend a night camping in the rain forest but had to cancel when Jamie hit a purple and pink bus that caused a huge traffic jam in downtown San Jose.
But I’m not allowed to talk about that.
Now, onto the mystery. The last area we stayed was Tabacan, a five-star resort located at the base of Arenal Volcano in Northern Costa Rica. Tabacan had 12 natural thermal hot springs, with grounds that were littered with lagoons and waterfalls. From our private porch, we could watch the lava flowing from the volcano. Bottom line: it was surreal and gorgeous.
One afternoon, we decided to go on a long hike to a waterfall. Not wanting to bring our newly-minted wedding rings, we took them off and I hid them in the bottom of my make-up bag. When we returned a few hours later, they were gone.
We immediately reported the theft to the manager. He asked if housekeeping had come by and we responded affirmatively. We were on our way to dinner and he said he would look into it. A couple of hours later, he appeared at out table. He showed us the room report of all the key swipes:
1) The maid
2) Us
3) Manager
4) Manager
He said he had talked to housekeeping and they denied the charge. He then defended them, saying they had been at the resort a long time and they have never had any problems. He left and we resolved to go to the police the next morning.
Until we went back to our room. There, very strategically placed behind two glasses in the bathroom, were our rings. They were obviously planted there when we were at dinner.
So, Super Sleuths, what sayest ye? Who done it and was the manager in on the crime? Have you ever had anything stolen from a hotel?
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
How did you know “He’s Just Not That Into You?”
January 25, 2009 By
Valentine’s Day is a time for many lovers to rejoice and for singles to ignore. Hate it or love it, we all agree that the path to true love is not always smooth.
Prior to finding my dear Lord of the Gourds, I had my fair share of dating mishaps and unrequited love seemed to be my lot in life. For those who are still there, I have felt your pain. At Mile High Mamas, I’m teaming up with the sure-to-be hit movie He’s Just Not that Into You for a contest that will allow you to vent your lovelorn frustrations.
Of course, since many of you aren’t local and cannot attend the pre-screening, be ye not dismayed. Still drop on by and say “hi, it sure sucked to be you” or email me if you have a story of your own you’d like to share.
As aforementioned, I have not always been the very epitome of romantic idealism you see before you (just work with me here). In college, I had a crush on a guy we’ll call Rett Meaty (name has been changed to protect the not-so innocent). Rett was hunky, funny, completely clueless and had women fawning all over him. He worked on campus at 4 a.m. and a girl in his complex drove him every day. “No worries,” she would say. “I’m awake at 3:30 a.m. anyway to go running at the track.” The track that did not open until 5:30 a.m.
But he wanted me. Or at least I liked to think so. We hung out regularly but there had been no romantic professions. Rett worked hard to get through school but was really poor. At one point, my mom sent him $20 to take me out to dinner. Imagine how thrilled I was when he came back to exclaim, “Hey, thank your mom for that money. Now I don’t have to donate plasma this month.”
Clueless.
I decided I would give good ol’ Rett one last chance. If he asked me out for Valentine’s Day, there would be hope. We continued to hang out every day but nothing happened. My confidence started to fade but then I received The Call on February 13th: Would I go out with him for an evening of whimsical fun and romance the next evening? OK, so maybe he didn’t exactly say that but surely his invitation of attending a movie for his biology class on campus was just a cover, right?
I primped, I plucked. I was ready for him to declare his undying love for me. I picked him up and he directed me to campus but I was still not deterred. Maybe he had setup a surprise dinner for us on top of the Romey Building. Or perhaps he had stashed a series of clues for me to follow, only to be rewarded in the end by a giant smooch.
I got out of the car and he directed me to the biology building. We entered the theatre and settled in to watch a biology film. And it was not just any biology film. It was:
Fetal Development: A Nine Month Journey.
That was the last I ever saw good ol’ Rett again.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Just check your sources–that’s all I’m sayin’
January 21, 2009 By
I feel like I’ve been MIA and I apologize for my absence. I have been battling a virus for a while and I’m trying to find a miracle cure so I can ski Keystone this week. My throat is sore, my eyes inflamed and I am really lethargic. In fact, I have been feeling out of sorts on some level for about 21 days.
Coincidentally, it is January 21st.
Do you think 2009 is trying to tell me something?
Twitter and the blogosphere have been all abuzz with inaugural observations. I have been greatly amused that many think they are experts on all things political. Some are right on the mark. Others sound like The National Enquirer is feeding them information.
Let us all learn the dangers of this. It is tradition for my entire family to go out to eat Chinese food together when I am in Canada. During one of these recent dinners, my brother jokingly made a snide comment to his wife Jane to which she responded,
“Don’t you remember Amy saying last night at the company party that you need to appreciate me more because I am the most wonderful, perfect wife in the world?”
“Didn’t Amy also get totally wasted and throw up last night?
Touché.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Mommy Blogger Does Groundhog Day
January 20, 2009 By
You will not see me praising the inauguration festivities. Of course, I recognize and laud the historic nature of it all. But I do not agree with the millions of dollars being dumped into it when our country is in a recession and so many are out of work. President Roosevelt canceled both of his inaugural balls. While I do not expect such extreme measures, I do expect some fiscal measures to be in place and that certainly ain’t happening. Celebrations? Yes! Extravagance? No!
Phew–glad I got that I got that off my chest! Have you ever have one of those weeks where you get kicked in the gut and it becomes a reoccurring Groundhog Day when all you want to do is just shoot the little bugger to make him stop. Or at least stick a hose in the gopher hole, crank the water and drown them all out.
I have not always been the angel you see before you.
In my defense, my bestestest friend Stacey made me do it.
Hurricane Hadley got sick last week. Really sick. As in almost-took-her-to-the-ER kind of sick. Anyone who has ever dealt with this knows you become even more of an indentured servant than usual.
“Mommy, get a me a Kleenex. No, not from that Kleenex box.”
“Mommy, you put approximately 1 ml of extra water in my orange juice so as to completely dilute it. MAKE IT AGAIN.”
“Mommy, if I can’t sleep, NO ONE ELSE CAN!”
Jamie and I battled a sore throat through it all but fortunately never got really succumbed. She stayed home from preschool the entire week and if you have ever seen a Hurricane sequestered indoors, you can imagine the condition of our home…and emotional state.
Jamie and I did manage to sneak out to go to a movie one afternoon. I appreciated your suggestions, though my non-scientific findings ascertained that mothers with young children rarely see any movie that does not have talking animals.
We opted for the Nazis.
And Valkyrie was just what the doctor ordered. Maybe because it was a reminder that people’s lives sucked way more than ours.
I thought Tom Cruise did a great job and unlike many people, I do not harbor ill-feelings about his past behavior. Mostly because if I only saw movies starring people I respected in Hollywood, I would never go. Personally, I would be flattered if Jamie jumped on a couch for me on Oprah.
Then again, remember this little poll I took about whether to allow him to grow worms in our basement? Well, checkout this little diddy he just confessed on his infamous pumpkin blog.
Maybe a hosing down may be in order after all.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Let’s Go To The Movies
January 15, 2009 By
The movie Inkheart has been hitting the blogosphere. I swear, that movie is everywhere and won’t even be in theatres until January 23rd. Illiterate soul that I am, I had never even heard of the best-selling trilogy until I went to see Twilight for the second time with my niece over Christmas.
OK, maybe I am not that illiterate because I am reading the Twilight series for the second time.
Though I have somehow lost book four, which makes me not only quasi-illiterate but confirms I am disorganized.
Anyhew, there was a trailer for Inkheart at Twilight. And my 13-year-old niece FREAKED because she is a huuuuuge fan of the books. I freaked, too because 1) Brendan Fraser is cuuuuuuuuute and 2) He is Canadian.
Nevermind that this family-friendly adventure looks to be the next hit.
While we’re on the topic of movies, Jamie and I are going this weekend. On an actual date. Without children. And we’re a bit lost. There have been several great movies that have been released within the last few months so I am loooking for your recommendation: if it was the end of the world and you could only go to one movie, what would it be?
Because make no mistake: when we go to the movies without kids, the end of the world must assuredly be coming.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
When I am not above playing dirty with my 4-year-old daughter
January 13, 2009 By
To build up Hurricane Hadley’s confidence, I often pretend to be dumber than I am and marvel when she gets the correct answer.
This strategy has backfired lately because she is now convinced I am stupid.
Hadley: I am smarter than you, Mommy.
Me: [Backpeddling] I don’t think so, dear.
Hadley: Well, I am.
Me: Oh yeah? What is 4 + 2?
Hadley: [Silence. Insert crickets chirping]
Me: Touché, my dear.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
How Chicks Who Click Are Changing Society
January 12, 2009 By
In today’s post, I am taking a poll. When did you first go online? Start your first email account? What social media tools do you use?
I received my first email account in a BYU Communications class back in 1994. While I thought it was innovative to interact electronically with my classmates and professor, I did not know anyone else who was online. I decided then and there this Internet thing was just a fad.
I assure you it is the only time I have ever been wrong.
Last weekend, I was reminded just how incorrect I was. I attended Chicks Who Click, a Boulder-based conference that hosted some of the top social media mavens in the industry.
Don’t understand what social media or social applications are? If you’re reading this blog post, you are a part of it. The same goes if you have ever used technologies such as email, instant messaging, picture-sharing and forums. Don’t know what a social media application is? Think Google Groups, Facebook, YouTube, Flickr or Twitter, the latter of which is a micro-blogging and social networking at its finest, in 140 characters or less.
The great thing? All these tools are putting moms who may not have had a voice in the driver’s seat to make a large impact on society.
The Chicks Who Click conference started out as Chicks on Sticks with a ski day at Eldora. Most attendees ended up bailing out at the last minute (for reasons beyond me) so I shared a 20-passenger beast-of-a-limo with social media phenom Gwen Bell, Barbara Jones of One2One Network (one of the most powerful word-of-mouth marketing networks for women) and Metzger Associates planning guru Denise Smith.
Oh, yeah. And there was me. The one who predicted the early demise of the Internet.
I thought our epic ski day would be the highlight. It wasn’t.
I spent the next day listening to informed and inspiring speakers, meditating in my “bubble,” networking with fantastic women from all walks of life, and collaborating in group break-out sessions. I was put in a group of five and we were given the task to devise a social medial plan for a company. With fellow Mile High Mama Aimee Greeblemonkey at our helm, our group took home the top prize: an “I kicked social media a$$” trophy. I can assure you it is the only trophy I have ever received with the word a$$ in it.
Good thing they didn’t “reward” me for all those a$$-kickings my sports teams received over the years.
What were the most important things I took away from the conference?
*Traditional media is evolving and newspapers, television and film are no longer the only informants and whistle-blowers.
*A small percentage of people using social media’s tools are becoming the very voices that are changing the landscape of society. They are a force to be reckoned with, as was evidenced when powerhouse Motrin apologized for an ad many mom bloggers and twitterers found offensive.
At The Denver Post’s Mile High Mamas, we are an example of how traditional media is evolving. We are committed to connecting moms to each other and the rest of the world with the very social networking tools that are changing it. In the next few months, we will be doing a redesign to make our interface more friendly, our forums more interactive and repurposing our live Twitter feed with your minute-by-minute updates, while our mama bloggers (and token dad) keep you laughing on our blog.
Not yet blogging or on Facebook and Twitter? Start now and here is how to do it! Twitter in particular is becoming an integral social media tool to deliver real-time updates from people and organizations you care about.
Like Dora the Explorer.
My children never thought they would have to live in a world without their perpetually-perky senorita and were devastated to learn that Nick Jr. (Dora’s station) had been pulled from Dish Network. I wrote a quick tweet on Twitter complaining about this and within moments, a representative from Nick Jr. direct mailed me and explained the situation.
Bottom line: social media = power.
Now, for my next Twitter experiment: I WANT A MILLION DOLLARS.
The jury is still out on that one.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
And the rightful owner of the Target gift card is….
January 8, 2009 By
One of the highlights of coming home after two weeks abroad was the abundance of Christmas mail awaiting us. Oodles and oodles of glad tidings, newsletters and, as it turns out, gift cards.
At one point, I discovered a Target gift card on the floor. In my ravenous Christmas mail gluttony, it fell out of an unknown letter so a special thanks to whoever sent it!
Me: I can’t wait to figure out what to do with my gift card.
Jamie: Your Target gift card? You mean OUR gift card. It was addressed to both of us.
Me: You just got one and spent it.
Jamie: IT WAS FOR MY BIRTHDAY!
Me: And that’s exactly why it is my turn….
=================================
It’s not very often that I include anything from YouTube on my blog but this is a must-view. I recently connected via Facebook with my dear friend Cindy Willick from high school. She is a motivational speaker who recently moved to Australia to be with her long-lost love and has a fantastic message about body image.
================================================
And now, possibly the best picture ever, taken at the exact moment The Boy realized his head was stuck in my brother’s chair.
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Denver Mommy Blogger Does Canadian Christmas
January 6, 2009 By
A few weeks ago, my friend Lisa hosted a Christmas soiree and had a gift exchange to be remembered. For those who don’t know how to play: everyone brings a wrapped gift and then draws a number and takes a turn either choosing an unwrapped gift or swiping one that has already been opened.
We were half-way through the exchange when my friend Wendy opened the gift I had brought–a green and orange prize ribbon. Everyone dubiously stared at it until realization set in that it was for a certain someone’s prized pumpkin. I won’t go into details but it got ugly. Jamie attests that no one was laughing.
I can assure you that everyone was laughing but him.
Now, onto some highlights of our two-week vacation in Canada:
Sleep, Blessed Sleep
We slept in every morning. I haven’t had that many consecutive nights of eights hours of sleep since birth. Oh wait. I didn’t sleep even then. We slumbered in my parent’s pitch-dark basement. After our first night, I awoke to Bode screaming at the top of his lungs, “Can’t see, can’t see!” In toddler speak, this means “HALP, I’M BLIND!!!!!”
The Cold
The weather was almost unbearable the first several days (-30 degrees) but we spent some quality time visiting with my folks snuggling up by the fire, drinking hot chocolate, dragging the dogs for walks around the house, doing make-up with Grandma, playing games and hanging out in the Canadian Rockies. Oh, and sleeping. Did I mention glorious sleep?
Outdoor Pursuits, Canadian-Style
When temps warmed up, Dad and I went cross-country skiing and we all tobogganed at the gully near my house. Turns out my thrill-seeking days are over and I started to scream “I’m too old for this”… until my 68-year-old father zoomed past me. Jamie declared he had two days left on his health insurance and brazenly stupidly went off a huge jump. There was no sympathy as he limped around afterwards.
I got some YakTrax from my parents for Christmas. Never heard of them? Just strap these bad boys onto your shoes and they help you run in the snow. It was so bloody cold that first week that I went out for a run when it was -20 C. I covered my face with my turtleneck but just breathing caused it to freeze solid. Bottom line: Yaktrax work out marvelously in the sub-zero temps but maybe you shouldn’t. Will wait for balmy -15 degree conditions next time around.
On Not Getting Ripped
My brother Pat and his wife Jane took Jamie and I to Caesar’s, the best steakhouse in Calgary. Oh, and I did not get Ripped. Why burn 1,000 calories in an hour when you eat ten times that in two hours? The good Lord chose to smite me with the stomach flu that Ripped day. A curse or possibly a blessing?
The Canucks
Seeing beloved friend Stacey and then hanging out with cherished high school sweethearts Allison and Shannon.
Note: Prior to snapping this shot, Shannon asked, “Are we taking the picture with our clothes on or off?”
And no, we weren’t those kind of sweethearts.
Jamie met renowned giant pumpkin grower “The Ice Man” (because what would any vacation be like without pumpkins?) Ice Man took him out to his property and showed Jamie his 12 greenhouses where he grows his orange monstrosities. A disturbing glimpse into the life we would lead if we ever moved to Canada.
My brother Pat is a commodities trader and travels in wealthy circles. We got invited out to one of these friend’s houses for a Boxing Day party to play hockey in their backyard (because doesn’t everyone flood their backyard and make it into a rink?) I enjoyed chatting with everyone but later realized the net worth in the room with four other couples was $100 million. Any guesses who was the poorest?
Christmas
Nothing has ever compared to Christmas in Canada for me. Christmas Eve was replete with family traditions of stuffing our faces, [badly] playing the Christmas bells, proving our mental deficiencies in the Left-Wright Game and fighting over presents in the gift exchange. Christmas Day was food, generosity and laughter. The perfect holiday spent with my wonderful parents and my brother and his family.
The Flights
I did not die (though I wanted to kill a few people en route.) Overall, pretty minor on the Amber Scale of Catastrophes: 1) Our Chariot stroller accrued THREE flat tires 2) The Las Vegas airport SUCKS for layovers and doesn’t have a #$&(&# train between terminals and the Chariot would not fit in the shuttle. 3) We flew into Denver with 40 mph winds–the worst turbulence I have ever experienced. As the children delightedly squealed, “Weeeee, roller-coaster airplane!” I started writing my will. Of course, you are all in it.
Too bad I’m not worth much.
Note to self: start hanging out with wealthy commodities traders in 2009.
XOXO
Amber
© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. 