Happy Halloween From, The Great Pumpkin

October 31, 2014 By

Last week, TaRhonda Thomas from 9News asked me if I’d be interested in doing a segment on fun, easy treats for Halloween.

Fun? Easy?  Are there any better words to describe me?

The problem was Bode’s school Halloween party was around that same time so I initially turned it down but then remembered I’m pretty much the Queen of Halloween and how could I miss such an opportunity?

I decided I could arrive late for Bode’s class party but proposed to 9News that maybe we could just tape the segment earlier in the week and I could bring the giant pumpkins as backdrop so I wouldn’t have to miss it at all.  They didn’t go for that so I’m still going into the studio Halloween morning before racing back to Bode.

HOWEVER–they also loved the giant pumpkin idea so TaRhonda asked if she and photojournalist Chris could come to the house on Tuesday. The Great Pumpkin is always open to publicity and I assumed they’d do a quick interview with Jamie and be done with it. I was still in my workout clothes when they arrived as I had no plans to take part but before I knew it (1.5 hours later), they pulled both of us together for some hilarious scenarios that I think will make for a really fun pumpkin piece.

Cutting open the Great Pumpkin

Or it will be utterly humiliating. But that wouldn’t be the first time. (See: NBC’s The Marriage Ref).

Filed Under: 9News, Humor, pumpkins

The Carving of the Great Pumpkin

October 30, 2014 By

Last year, we had professional carver Michelle Barnett carve Jamie’s 1,200+ pound beast Stanley.

This year, Skype commissioned her to carve Jamie’s 500-pounder. She’s working on it as we speak and Skype recorded our call trying to hash out the details (go here to watch or see below).

What would you carve into a Giant Pumpkin? Stay tuned for the big reveal!

Filed Under: pumpkins

October in Colorado = Glorious!

October 29, 2014 By

I had an epiphany: October is my favorite month of the year. Between cooler yet still mild temperatures and gorgeous fall colors, Colorado had its most delicious October ever and all I wanted to do was hike every day.

Unfortunately I have this thing called work.

That didn’t stop me from occasionally sneaking out for some fun.

Hiking Pence Park

Last year, my friend Tina and I loved hiking 6.4- mile Carpenter Peak in Roxborough Park so much we decided to make it an annual tradition.

Hadley recently had a day off school so we took the opportunity check-out Staunton State Park, which opened just over a year ago. When I hike by myself, I stick to the trail. When I’m with Hadley, we forge through the forest, find large granite outcroppings, bushwhack to the summit and discover secret caves.

She’s waaaay more exciting than I.

One Sunday evening, we took a leisurely stroll around glistening Crown Hill Park, whereupon I imparted the following wisdom to my children: “Life is too short to live somewhere ugly.”

This is how we do walks, Johnson-style.

It’s no wonder Bode has trust issues.

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, hiking, outdoors, travel

The Halloween Party of Death

October 28, 2014 By

When the kids were younger, I threw blowout Halloween parties. Just look at these cuties back in 2006 (Hadley is the Broncos cheerleader, bottom right).

And yes, she’d DIE now to ever be dressed as one of those “silly girls.”

My kids loved those parties but since we implemented the Giant Pumpkin Party four years ago, I disbanded those Halloween bashes because there was no way I was going to throw two of them in October.

So, what’s the first thing my opportunistic kids begged me to do when the Pumpkin Party was canceled?

See below.

The coolest hosts ever (before we lost our minds)

Hanging doughnuts (30 doughnuts were eaten in 30 seconds flat)

Bode’s make-up artist, Alex. Pumpkin Man photobomb.

I knew we were in trouble during the invitation stage. I didn’t want anyone to feel left out but when people started asking if siblings could come, I kindly told them “yes” if the parent would come help. A couple did, most didn’t and I ended up with waaaaaaaay too many kids. They are all well-behaved, awesome kids but the sheer number (25 of ‘em) about did us in.



We had plenty of fun games to keep them occupied, like a candy corn relay I made up. Essentially, they had to put a spoon in their mouth, scoop up candy corn with it and race to the other side of the yard and deposit the candy into a jar. On the way back, they had to do silly challenges like  “Pretend you are Elsa and sing ‘Let it Go’ at the top of your lungs as you skate back.”

As you can imagine, there was a whole lotta silliness.

The excessive amounts of sugar certainly helped.

My friend Julie outdid herself by making “Poison Punch” and personalizing a cup for each kid.

She is what I call a “Pinterest Overachiever” and the kids loved it!

Out of everyone, I am most indebted to my friend “Witch Terry” who made a surprise appearance halfway through the party. I had asked her to pull together some magical science experiments and we got together during the week to practice.

Overachiever that she is (it runs in my circles), she went above-and-beyond with some awesome tricks but the mere chaos almost sent us to our graves. Fortunately, the kids were AWED by every single one.

Fun with dry ice

Witch Terry in her element

Baking soda+vinegar+balloons+water bottle= an awesome Fizz Inflator

This is my favorite picture of the evening: seeing the children’s awed faces at our successful dry ice crystal ball! (Find out how to make it here; our ghostly screaming balloons were another hit).

As kids were arriving at the party, we had our disco light swirling and fog making machine chugging. And the fire alarm going off.

It started with chaos, it ended with chaos, and according to the party goers, it was “the best Halloween party ever.”

At least someone had a good time. Remind me of this post the next time they beg me for an over-the-top party.

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, holidays

Going “professional” at the Arvada Scarecrow Festival

October 23, 2014 By

If the giant pumpkin growers were poorly received at the Jared’s Nursery weigh-off, they were treated like royalty at the Arvada Scarecrow Festival. Jamie’s buddy Joe grew the biggest pumpkin in Colorado this year (1,292 pounds) and instead of putting it on display after the weigh-off, he merely cuts it up. I asked his wife if they could donate the pumpkin for a great cause (us!) and they were kind to give us their pumpkin.

When we arrived at the festival, we were literally mobbed and two hours later, were barely able to pull away because so many people were taking pictures. Now I know what the Beatles felt like.

Just imagine how much more popular they would have been if they grew giant pumpkins.

Side note: I just realized as I posted this picture that someone put their dog to pose with Lucille the giant pumpkin. Just when I thought I had seen everything.

Hadley was still feeling crummy from pneumonia so laid low. Bode, on the other hand? He was a Proud Pumpkin Papa.
As I was was tending to Hadley’s needs, I looked up to see Bode mingling with the crowd answering questions about his pumpkin.

I should probably start calling him Pumpkin Man Jr. (apologies to his future wife).

Hadley and Bode won the children’s division and I was thrilled to see a kid from our neighborhood grinning ear-to-ear about his pumpkin. I’d talked to him a few weeks prior and encouraged him to enter and was so glad to see him there!

The children’s competition (neighbor on the left)

Despite the fact that “Lucille” stopping growing mid-August when he cut her off the vine, Jamie still won the adult division and is always awesome with giving advice, encouragement and seeds to aspiring pumpkin growers.

We had a great time at our hometown festival but I had to chuckle at the end. Hadley, Bode and Jamie had the three biggest pumpkins at the weigh-off, causing a disgruntled member of the Arvada Gardners to mutter that “they should have their own professional division.”

Please shoot me if they ever go “professional.”

See the write-up about the competition: Giant pumpkins rule in Olde Town Arvada.

Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

It’s Pumpkin Season!

October 22, 2014 By

Despite the fact that Jamie didn’t “grow big” this year, we are still in the throes of pumpkin season. In case you missed that tragic announcement, Jamie lost both his plants to yellow vine disease in August.  He chopped up “Bo” but for some reason, he cut “Lucille” off the vine and let her sit there for a month and a half, hoping she’d last ’til the weigh-off.

And wonder of wonders, she did make it (despite the fact that she hasn’t grown and has been essentially rotting for a month and a half).

Lovely Lucille. Photo credit: Denver Post’s Seth McConnell

Because we didn’t have “large” pumpkins, we opted not to throw a pumpkin party but that posed a big problem: we usually have several people on-hand to help us move the pumpkins.

For the giants, we need a backhoe and lifting straps but for the “smaller” pumpkins like Lucille and the kids’ pumpkins, we have a lifting tarp but needed able-bodies.

Enter: our good friends and neighbors the Haymonds who, much to their misfortune, were home at the time we came knocking.

Hadley cutting her pumpkin off the vine

Sadie is smiling because she didn’t have to lift after Uncle Chris arrived


Pumpkin Man photobomb.

Despite the fact that Bode’s pumpkin got taken out by hail (twice) and didn’t pollinate until two weeks after Hadley’s, his pumpkin weighed a whopping 325 lbs while Hadley’s weighed 401 lbs, a personal best.

Don’t get me started how the lazy organizers at Jared’s Nursery in Littleton didn’t even bother to give them ribbons or any acknowledgment for all their hard work. Dear Jared’s Nursery: we will not be wasting out time at your weigh-off next year.

Despite their lack of prizes, I was so proud that they dominated the children’s division.

Of course, it helped they were the only two who entered.

Stay tuned for details on the Arvada Scarecrow Festival.

 

 

 

Filed Under: pumpkins

Breaking Bad and the Giant Pumpkin

October 21, 2014 By

We’re calling this a twofer. Fox 31 asked to come to my house to interview me about crystal meth action figures yesterday, they saw my husband Jamie’s giant pumpkins and interviewed him after.

Jamie is now claiming the media is going through me to get to him.

File this under ‪#‎YouCan‬‘tMakeThisStuffUp.

Fox 31 aired the story last night. The one with me in it; I’m sure the giant pumpkins will appear on some breaking news story sometime.

CLICK TO KEEP READING

Filed Under: 9News

My (spooky) nighttime confession

October 20, 2014 By

In preparation for a Halloween party last Friday, I trolled music videos on YouTube. I found many classics like Monster Mash and Ghostbusters but the king of them all is, of course, Michael Jackson’s Thriller. 

My kids gathered around my computer. My 10-year-old Hadley was so engrossed she watched it twice while 8-year-old Bode was nervous but I wasn’t worried. Though he’s never seen a horror movie, he has no problems with Lord of the Rings and that’s way scarier, right?

Wrong.

Here’s how our evening played out:

9:40 p.m. I passed out early from exhaustion.

10:30 p.m. Daughter wake-up call.

Her: “Mom, Bode is crying.”
Me: “Why are you awake?!” (She had just recovered from a two-week stint with enterovirus-turned-pneumonia.)
Her: “I’m not tired.”
Me: “GET TO BED, NOW.”

10:31 p.m. Trudge to Bode’s room. He’s still asleep but obviously freaked out and crying. Soothingly hug and pat his back, whispering “it’s only a dream.” He quiets down.

11:05 p.m. He starts crying again. Mother of the Year lovingly calms him. At least The Daughter is finally asleep.

Midnight-ish Crying con’t. Maybe if I pretend he’s not crying, he’ll stop. Negative.

12:15 a.m. Bring him into my bed. Snuggle him tight as he falls into a feverish, Thriller-induced slumber.

12:20-1:55 a.m. Every 10-15 minutes, he cries out then goes back to sleep.

2 a.m. More crying, more soothing. Resolve I’m too old for this. How do women in the 40s handle newborn all-nighters?

2:15 a.m. He starts kicking me in his sleep. Gently move him away.

2:25 a.m. Fat Kitty abandons us, citing “at least one of us needs to get some sleep.”

2:30 a.m. After yet another shout-out, I am DONE. I scoop him up in his arms and carry him to his bed. Close the door.

2:33 a.m.-6:20 a.m. I finally get some sleep.

7 a.m.  Bode wake-up.

“How are you feeling today? Do you remember your bad dreams?”
“No, not really. But how did I get into your bed last night?”

He was his usual chipper self while I looked like the walking dead the rest of the day.

Now, I finally get why “Thriller” is scary.

Filed Under: Bode, Humor

A weak payback but I’ll take it

October 17, 2014 By

My brother Jade a.k.a. Jeek (a nickname I affectionately gave him when he was younger; a cross between Jade and geek) loves to play practical jokes and his chemical engineering co-workers seem to get the brunt of it.

Fortunately we all live of different sides of the country so proximity usually makes us safe.

However, there is this little thing called the Internet where incriminating pictures don’t disappear. Ever. I should know–he has posted some doozies of me.

That’s why it was a stroke of sheer brilliance when I published a hilarious commentary of the pictures he and my brother-in-law Fred had posted to Facebook that day (in case you missed it, go here).

Jeek’s only response: “You do realize there will be payback for this right?”

His rebuttal?

My brother Pat’s perm years got dragged into the war because (in Jade’s words) “You liked the photo yesterday that was enough for me!!!”

It doesn’t take much for Jeek.

If this is as serious at it gets, I got off easy. Of course, who knows how many more of my tween blackmail pictures are floating around out there.

Filed Under: Family, Humor

Playing catch-up

October 16, 2014 By

Hadley is finally on the mend following her enterovirus-turned-pneumonia. When I say she was sick, I mean it–she barely got out of bed or ate for days on end.

I can’t complain, though. Until recently she has been blessed with great health, with the exception of a bout of RSV when she was a baby. My heart truly goes out to kids with serious, non-curable illnesses.

We met with her teacher this week and her two-week absence is more serious than I thought:

SHE MISSED THE ENTIRETY OF THEIR UNIT ON CANADA.

 

Filed Under: Canada, Hadley, Humor
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