Easter Egg Hunts in a Communist Society

A Johnson family tradition is to duke it out every year at the community Easter egg hunt.

It’s been a long road. When our daughter Hadley was little, she mistook the eggs as “pretty balls” and hucked them in the air. Then there was the year we couldn’t drag her off the playground equipment. Another Easter, both kids simply raced past all the eggs and ran in circles.

Now that my children are 3 and 5, this was OUR year. They finally understand that inside those cheap plastic eggs are candy and toys.

Glorious treats that Mom and Dad did not have to stuff.

There was still a lot of snow and muck on the ground. Being the good mother I am, I had outfitted them in clothing befitting of a polar bear club/mud-wrestling competition.

I am nothing if not prepared.

But the organizers surprised us all and moved the Easter egg hunt into the adjacent recreation center. Instead of setting the children loose at the same time, we were admitted into the arena in waves. Bode had the advantage and was among the eldest in the 0-3 age group, as was Hadley in the 4-5.

Remember that I mentioned it was our year?

The children chomped at the bit as they waited at the starting line like thoroughbreds at a race track. A volunteer explained the rules.

“When the whistle blows, you may run into the arena. Your children are allowed five eggs a piece.”

Five eggs a piece? What’re we: a communist society?

When the whistle blew, all the children tore off the starting line. There were hundreds, if not over a thousand eggs for each age group. It was obvious that the five-egg limit would not be an issue as pretty much every child I saw greedily walked away with baskets spilling over with eggs.

I, on the other hand, got nothing. You see, the volunteer had also made sure to emphasize that parents were not allowed to pick up eggs. I didn’t murmur about the ban on parental involvement because I figured it was aimed at me.

In my defense, I was *this* close to finding the golden egg in previous years.

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