Utah Mom Blog & Mommy Blogger | Life Elevated Mom

The Father’s Day pressure is on!

May 20, 2008 by Amber

I’ll admit it: I am a pain in the arse sometimes. Like when Jamie emailed me a few weeks ago and invited me on a date to Jill’s, a snazzy bistro in the St. Julien Hotel and Spa in Boulder. Problem is I hadn’t heard of it. Bigger problem is when I set my mind to something, I can become a bit difficult.

“C’mon, Amber. I got my sister to take Hadley for the night and my mom will take Bode for a few hours.”

“I don’t want to go out to eat. What about my D-I-E-T? How about a movie? Or a hike?”

And this is what Jamie endured for three weeks until I finally relented.

Because I am a grateful person like that.

Jamie had a meeting in Boulder so I dropped the kids off on Friday and met him at St. Julien, a stunning oasis in downtown Boulder. We poked around the hotel, awestruck at all the beautiful amenities and people before settling in for dinner.

I was enjoying the kid-free ambiance when, in a move befitting of The Bachelor, Jamie slipped me something across the table. A room key. For St. Julien. My jaw dropped and I reminded him why he fell in love with me in the first place with my great profundities.

“Huh?”

“Happy Mother’s Day, Amber!”

“You mean we will not have any kids for the next 12 hours?”

That is MY idea of a Mother’s Day celebration.

And then he proceeded to lecture me the rest of the night about what a pain in the arse I had been. As always, he was correct.

After dinner, we strolled along Boulder’s famous Pearl Street Mall, poking around the shops and watching the entertaining street urchins. Back at the hotel, we hung out on the stunning grounds, listening to a Samba band and watching the sunset. The next morning, we ate at a hip Boulder deli and went hiking in the Flatirons.

The man pulled off the perfect weekend. He even did a great job of packing my suitcase and remembered most everything. The only thing he forgot was our pyjamas.

Turns out we didn’t need ’em. 🙂

So now the pressure is on for me to deliver a memorable Father’s Day. What have you given your hubby or dad in years past?

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Lessons on Detachment Parenting

May 19, 2008 by Amber

Sadly, my daughter Hurricane Hadley’s first year of preschool is drawing to a close. I have been reflecting lately upon just how well my little social butterfly has survived and how this mama has thrived with the extra break.

I realize not everyone shares my opinion. Last summer, our community had a big ol’ garage sale. My husband Jamie and I stopped at a house a few blocks away and struck up a casual conversation with the home owners. It took only a few seconds for me to realize I was talking to The Urban Legend of our neighborhood. Err…or I guess that would be Suburban Legend.

Rumors have circulated for a few years that this woman sent her child off to college and decided whilst in her 40s to start from scratch and get pregnant…20 years after the first. And she was rewarded with not one but twin girls Hadley’s exact same age.

Well, I was ecstatic to meet The Legend! We immediately hit it off and talked of future playdates. Jamie asked if she was sending them to our local elementary school and she responded affirmatively. I then asked if they were going to preschool.

“Yes, they’re going to ________.”

“Oh great! That is where Hadley is going in the fall!”

“Well, admittedly I am pretty reluctant to send them. I just don’t think I can bear to be without them. You know what I’m talking about?”

I thought of my “How Many Days Until Hadley is in Preschool Countdown Chart.” And my mental spreadsheet detailing what Bode and I would do with six tranquil hours every single week without the Hurricane.

“Yes, I know exactly what you mean.”

Later in the car, I relayed our conversation to Jamie. Dubiously, he looked at me and eloquently assessed the situation:

“Those are not our kind of people, Amber.”

Hear, hear. 🙂

Filed Under: Hadley, Humor, Jamie

Biggest Loser Boot Camp Week 7 Weigh-in (as Satan is identified)

May 16, 2008 by Amber

II tried an experiment and allowed myself an indulgence last week.

Then again, to consider it an experiment perhaps I need to garner inspiration from my science fair days and write a solid hypothesis and carry out a detailed plan of action.

I suspect my spur-of-the-moment hypothesis, “Those ice cream sundaes and bacon asiago bread look tasty so I will eat them” does not really count.

This must be why I was a science-fair failure.

I know of many diets that give you a free day or free meal so I decided to apply this to my Mother’s Day dinner and lo, I did eat. After all, we were celebrating my motherhood with carbs and ice cream. How could I pass that up?

Did it work? My weekly weight loss is: 2.5 pounds, making my Week 7 weight loss total 18.5 pounds. One could conclude the experiment worked, though I may have possibly lost an additional 4 pounds had I not taken that extra scoop of chocolate fudge. Or two.

At this point in my journey, every day has a struggle of some kind. But after a month and a half of participating in The Front Range Adventure Boot Camp, I am learning what my body needs. That it is not about deprivation but moderation, an important life lesson for maintaining this lifestyle.

Every week, a few of us meet at someone’s house for a healthy dinner as inspirational life coach Robyn guides us on our path. And every week, I am touched in some way and leave feeling infallible, like no temptation is too great.

Until a certain someone’s husband returns home with the kids from Grandma’s with a plate of freshly-baked brownies moments after the meeting has been adjourned.

And then you realize that the source of the enticements, the one who is sent to lure you out of that paradisiacal garden? Some call him Satan.

Or Jamie.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Mom Blog Boredom Conundrum

May 15, 2008 by Amber

I am bored. I hate being bored. For so long, I was this crazy, stressed lunatic woman and you know what?

I liked it.

And now I suddenly have time on my hands and my afternoons with Hadley while Bode naps feel like an eternity. Does anyone have any tips for keeping an almost-4-year-old occupied while still taking some time for myself?

You know, so I can be bored.

Don’t get me wrong. I have things to do. It just seems the less I have to cram into my day, the less I get done. Whereas when I am busy, I am so much better at fitting it all in. Does that sound nuts?

I am also having crazy-woman dreams again. Remember this post when I confessed my compulsion for dreaming about my final semester of college? Since I wrote about it, I have never had that dream again. My latest dreams revolve around Jamie. We have been dating a while and then he decides he doesn’t want to marry me after all.

This dream is completely irrational for the following reasons:

1) We have a great relationship and I really don’t feel any insecurities. Well, except that he loves his pumpkin more than me.

2) He was the one who asked me to marry him after only a couple of months.

Still, the dear man figured I needed some consoling yesterday.

“Amber, if things were different, I would still marry you 5 X over.”

“But why not 10 X?”

“Because of questions like that.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

WW – When That Which Was Lost Was Finally Found

May 13, 2008 by Amber

After 4 months, 18 days and 10 hours, I finally found my hubby’s Christmas present.

I told him to just pretend it’s like Christmas in May!!!!

He didn’t buy it.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, Uncategorized

Sordid Secrets and the Husbands Who Keep Them

May 12, 2008 by Amber

My husband Jamie has been sneaking around lately. I figured his covert actions were regarding the gargantuan Mother’s Day surprise party he was likely throwing me.

It didn’t happen.

Or the second honeymoon he was planning.

We already took one.

So when I spotted him slip into the den and close the door, I knew he was up to no good. I waited a few minutes until I heard him tapping away on the computer’s keyboard. And then I went in for the kill.

And nothing could have prepared me for what I found. It was not a lurid chat room, nor was it nekkid women but it was pumpkin porn.

Yes, my friends. My beloved, pumpkin-obsessed husband has started a blog about growing pumpkins. This is not just any blog but a secret pumpkin blog.

“This is why you’ve been sneaking around? You have a pumpkin blog?”
“Errr…yes.”
“Just when were you planning to tell me about this?”
“Errr…never?”

Thus solidifies just how deep his obsession runs. For those not in the know, it started out innocently last spring when he planted the first pumpkin seed. Over the summer, he and our daughter Hadley religiously watered and watched it grow from a molehill to a mountain.

Unfortunately, so did his competitive drive.

Jamie decided to enter it into our local harvest festival and I, good wife that I am, humored him. Until the flood came. It started with his barrage of pumpkin-related emails and then it totally engulfed our dinner conversations.

“I read online that I need to cut the stem right before the competition.”

Grunt.

“It then says I should put the stem into a gallon of water.”

Groan.

“Did you know a pumpkin can lose up to five pounds within the few hours of being cut?”

You get the point.

I was just ready for it to be over. For this to be a chapter carefully folded away into the Johnson Family History of Dysfunction, never to be spoken of again.

Until his 141.5-pound pumpkin won.

Filed Under: Favorite Posts, Humor, Jamie, Marriage, pumpkins

Inquiring Mom Wants to Know: What are your Children Eating?

May 9, 2008 by Amber

Monday’s post about being a good or bad mother had an overwhelming response. Some women felt validated that they are doing a great job. And others vented about how judgmental the world of moms can be.

I took a different approach all together.

Since beginning my butt-kicking Front Range Adventure Boot Camp, my children have suffered. Not because I have submitted them to the same rigorous workouts but because they have had to [insert collective gasp] eat healthy food on a daily basis, something no child should ever have to endure.

At least that is what my daughter Hadley tries to convince me when we are at the grocery store.

And so I took a judgmental-mom-be-darned approach and bought my children Twinkies yesterday. Because HOLYCRAP – they are almost 2 and 4 and have never had a Twinkie in their lives.

And also because they do not tempt me in the least and I would not touch them with a ten-foot pole.

But before we launch into the ins and outs of what you are feeding your children, my weekly weight-loss total is: 3 pounds. This brings my six-week total to 16 pounds. I was rather shocked with this week’s loss, given my oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough and brownie indulgences on Saturday. And yes, indulgences is indeed plural. The only possible explanations are:

a) My body needs and thrives on cookie dough, just like the flower needs the rain (or however that song goes).
b) I overcompensated afterward by working my butt off.

I like the first explanation better.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

My proudest moment as a mama!

May 8, 2008 by Amber

Hadley is a perfect angel at preschool.

This shocks me more than anyone, especially as I listened to her teachers sing her praises at our recent parent-teacher conference. In their eyes, she could do no wrong.

Until recently.

When I picked up the Hurricane from school a couple of weeks ago, she had her first “Ouch Report,” which is similar to a speeding ticket in the real world and is undoubtedly one incident away from being thrown into the slammer. Well, at least in preschool terms. The details:

Where: It happened at the center at 9 a.m.

Brief Description of Injury: Mark on the back of her head. Hadley tackled (as in full body slammed) Cooper to get the dog he had. He hit her with a piece of plastic bread.

Her defence for Said Incident? “THAT BOY HIT ME WITH FOOOOOOOD!”

$10 says it will never stand up in court.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Today: Church basketball. Tomorrow: the Ironman

May 6, 2008 by Amber

Last week was thankfully Jamie’s final week of church basketball and it is the first season he has survived unscathed. For so many years, he had heart problems. Last year, he cracked a rib the first game. This year, our friend Phil took the fall for the team and is going in for knee surgery in a few weeks.

There is one thing that has been giving Jamie problems: his knees (errr…or would that be two?) Particularly when he hikes or carries the kids, it worsens the condition. Since our return from our backpacking trip to Moab, he has been hobbling around more than usual.

Last week, the kids and I watched his final basketball game. Both teams forfeited because only three guys on each side showed up. Instead of calling it a night like rational old men should do, they did the irrational and tried to relive their youth by playing 3-on-3 for an entire hour.

It wasn’t pretty.

That night, as we snuggled in bed I asked him how his knees were doing.

“Oh, they’re fine. They don’t hurt at all.”

“They don’t hurt at all? After running up and down the court for an hour?”

“Correction, Amber. After walking up and down the court for an hour.”

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Mile High Mamas Monday – On Being a Good (or Bad) Mother

May 5, 2008 by Amber

WHY ARE YOU A GREAT MOTHER? Let’s give ourselves a serious shout-out today!

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Every year, mothers are celebrated on that one special May day (which is not to be confused with “mayday,” another word with which mamas are familiar).

And every year growing up, I remember my mother was consumed with guilt and inadequacy, the very antithesis of what Mother’s Day is supposed to be about. Was she the perfect mom? Of course not. None of us are. But she loved, sacrificed and cared for her children as best she could.

I was recently at a resale children’s clothing store. As I poked around, the shopkeeper asked the age of my son and she confided she had a boy his same age. At check-out, I grabbed both of my children a free sucker to reward them for their good behavior. She looked at me and distastefully commented,

“I just can’t imagine giving my 21-month-old child a sucker.”

I laughed her off but almost wished I had said something like, “Yeah, I feed him straight sugar via intravenous for breakfast.”

As I walked out of the store, I was irate. How dare she criticize me? At that same moment, I noticed Read on

Filed Under: Uncategorized