The beginning of The End

Pumpkin season has begun.

Jamie announced last Sunday that our FHE activity for Monday night would be planting the pumpkin seeds.

Three of the four of us were excited.

I will let you guess who among us was not.

I psyched myself out for the pilgrimage to the pumpkin patch for the ceremonial planting. But silly me for assuming that planting means putting the seed into the ground. No, my friends, the Lord of the Gourds had a long, drawn-out plan in the following steps:

1) Sanded the edges of the seeds then soaked the seeds in warm water for 2 hours with a touch of liquid seawood.

But of course, adding the liquid seawood is a no-brainer that you already knew.

2) Took warm and damp paper towel and wrapped it around the seed and put it in an area that is 85-90 degrees. He did this for two reasons: a) He could check to see if the tap roots had come out, which means it’s germinated and b) He can control the moisture that is in contact with the seed. The seed responds well to the paper towel because it actually thinks the paper towel is dirt.

Evidently, pumpkins are more stupid than I thought.

3) Once the tap roots have come out, it is put in seed-starting soil. Jamie will keep it in a warm, well-lit area (read: sketchy grow room) until it is time to plant outdoors late-April. And even then, he will build a hoop house around it to protect his precious plant until the elements warm up

This is the road just to get it in the ground.

Pray for me when pumpkin season officially begins.

Be sure to following Jamie at for the technical how-tos. If you’re just tuning into the saga, Jamie is obviously obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. Find out how it began in Sordid Secrets and the Husbands Who Keep Them.

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