Jamie’s Sub-par Father’s Day

This weekend, our family did a road-trip to the mountains where we biked and pigged out at the Frisco Barbecue Challenge (more on that later). We fed Jamie his favorite breakfast (gingerbread pancakes with fresh apple marmalade) in bed. We showered him with homemade gifts. The dads had delicious pies at church. Really, our Father’s Day weekend would have been perfect.

If only the children hadn’t been invited.

Child #1: The Firstborn’s Death Attempt

One of my favorite places on earth to bike is around Dillon Reservoir, 70 miles west of Denver. We parked our car at the Frisco Adventure Park and rode the roller-coaster trail around the perimeter of the lake. I lagged back with Bode as Hadley surged forward on her new mountain bike with Jamie closely tailing her.

As Bode and I rounded the corner, we happened upon a curious scene: Jamie splattered on the bridge, his face lobster-red. As it turns out, Jamie had called out to Hadley, “Watch for the people on the trail,” which she loosely translated to say, “STOP, NOW!”

She gets her listening skills from me.

So Hadley slammed on her brakes and Jamie, in an attempt to avoid slamming into her, veered to the side, slammed on his brake and flipped over the handlebars, injuring the entire right side of his body (he has the scrapes and bruises to prove it).

Sensitive soul that she is, Hadley started to laugh that she had never seen him wipe-out before but after taking one look at the steam coming out of his ears, decided sympathy was the answer.

And that is why she is still alive today.

Child #2: The Second Born’s Lack of Love

For Father’s Day, we dined in our formal dining room and ate grilled rib-eye steaks, scrumptious berries, roasted garlic potatoes, fresh Lion House rolls and a variety of Ben ‘n Jerry ice creams.

Me: “I think we should go around the table and say one thing we love about Daddy!”

Hadley: “I love that he takes care of us.”

Me: “How does he take care of you?”

Hadley: “He works really hard so we can have nice things.”

Me: “Bode, what are you grateful for?”

Bode: “I love that Daddy takes care of us.”

Hadley: “I already said that. You need to think of something else you love about Daddy.”

Insert long, pregnant pause with Bode deep in thought. Then finally:

Bode: “That’s all I got.”

Happy Father’s Day, indeed.

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