To any men out there who may be reading this post:

Read at your own risk because I am dealing with uncomfortable, womanly issues. I’m talking m@mmaries, an issue you generally enjoy discussing and viewing. Until Junior comes on the scene. Suddenly that which was desirable turns rather uncomfortable as you struggle with whether to be turned on or off each time you are flashed during feeding sessions.

So, I am kinda tired these days due to my explosive mammmmaries. For whatever reason, their quality isn’t good and my kids never latch on without a shield, thereby making me a failure in the m@ma mi*lking department. However on quantity? I am a m@ma mil*king machine and could feed a small Ethiopian village.

This does not pose too much of a problem during the day because Bode eats frequently. But by having a kid who’s a great nighttime sleeper, I’m faced with a new issue: painful engorgement that is keeping me up all frickin’ night. While he sleeps.

I have been on a pumping strike, primarily because pumping made me overproduce so much with Hadley that I was worse than our sprinkler drip system. And so I am looking for any suggestions/tips/experiences on this matter that do not involve hooking myself up to The Mi*lkers.

WAIT, a retraction: I just informed Jamie about my subject du jour on this blog. And his exceedingly male response:

“Should we put some pictures? People like visuals.”

Once a man, always a man I guess.

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