Would You Trust These Children?

Are they:

a) Currently under house arrest for defacing an entire Thomas the Trainset with blue marker.
b) Passport pictures wherein they look like the Taliban.
c) Totally busted for stepping on and/or consuming yard-obsessed Jamie’s plants.
d) All of the above

If you guessed “d” you must have a few delinquents of your own.

Last week, a Farewatcher Alert appeared in my inbox with a crazy-cheap deal for flights to Mexico. Jamie and I had planned to take the kids to Orlando in August but after doing some figuring, determined it would be less expensive to go to a foreign country than to vacation in our own. Go figure.

The 24 hours that followed were frenzied, primarily due to the need for the kids to now have passports for travel to Mexico and Canada. Surprisingly enough, they were champs whilst getting their photos taken. Much better than I, who was reprimanded for not standing still enough and for looking “too chipper.” Forgive me for not perfecting my Taliban glare.

Hadley cannot stop talking about the beach and has been practicing her Spanish, muchos gracias to that bilingual Dora the Explorer. Our conversations are repeatedly interwoven with “hola madre,” “amigos,” and “vaminose, let’s go!” She even shows off with some made-up Spanish words because she knows her north-of-the-border mother doesn’t know what the crap she’s talking about.

In order to afford our getaway we had to relinquish some local trips this summer, including a trek out to Utah for Jamie’s grandpa’s 90th birthday. I am surprised by just how much discord this has caused Jamie’s sweet mother. She can’t figure out why on earth we would we chose a trip to the sun-kissed beaches of Mexico vs. making polite conversation with relatives we’ve never met in the desert?


Truth be told, I was sad to miss this trip. I still have many friends in Utah and had planned to trail run walk OK, crawl many of my old haunts. On the other hand, I cannot wait to watch Haddie bodysurf for the first time and witness Bode ingest a quart of sand. Every hour. Call me crazy but it just sounds better than the humiliation of watching Jamie fumble around trying to remember his 243 cousins’ names. Talk about embaracada.

Oh wait. I think that means “knocked up” and not “embarrassing.”

But if I were a true Dora devotee, I would have already known that.

Travel writer travelin’ tip: Jamie came upon this gem when we booked our recent cruise: SkyAuction.com. It is an online eBay-esque site where they auction off travel for CHEAP. We saved several hundred dollars on our cruise and this time around, got an all-inclusive hotel for half the price. My only payment for this little plug is that you take me with you. So I guess that doesn’t mean savings in the end but think of what a delightful addition I will be to your romantic getaway.

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