The Great Pumpkin Weigh-off!

September 30, 2009 By

Whew, finally a spare moment after a crazy week that entailed being interviewed by CBS 4 Denver, riding in the Wienermobile and being an honorary homeschool mom at hilarious science dude Steve Spangler’s Halloween event for (you guessed it) homeschool moms. Basically, I learned how to blow up things.

Legally.

Last weekend was the weekend that wasn’t.

Friday would have been Jamie’s infamous pumpkin party: the time when we congregate and worship The Great Pumpkin before the ceremonial stem cutting, followed by the back-breaking process of hauling it out of the pumpkin patch.

I instead invited our dinner group over for a grilled pizza cook-off followed by New York Dolls on the big screen. It was a fun night but my beloved James was in mourning. He left early the next day to help his fellow Rocky Mountain Vegetable Growers unload their pumpkins at Jared Nursery’s big weigh-off.

And no, I did not ever think I would marry a man conjoined with such an organization.

I coached volleyball at the church and then later joined him with the kiddos. In years past, the pumpkins were the main draw but Jared’s beefed up the event to include jumpy castles (a.k.a. mosh pits for kids), a haunted house (that I had to endure eight times), and a hay maze (from which I’m still picking straw out of Haddie’s hair).

I was originally going to sell my famous pumpkin bread but opted out when Jamie’s pumpkin met its death. But I have plans for next year. Big plans. Plans that involve me buying this groovy wig(I’m saving my money now) and hawking my pumpkin wares.

Because I am not above exploiting The Great Pumpkin.

And no, I’m not kidding about the wig. I may even get a shirt made that says “Pumpkin Widow” to go with it.

The day turned out to be a lot of fun and a new state record was set: 1,282 pounds.

Jamie bought a new Sony Webbie and recorded his very first YouTube video with it. Be sure to stick around for the second half of the video. I promise the second song will make you laugh.

Note: Evidently YouTube does not like The Great Pumpkin. The first part of the video is black so try this link!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Jamie, pumpkins

Your Opinion Needed!

September 28, 2009 By

My header has gone MIA. Last week, all my pictures went up in flames because the Photobucket account my graphic designer used went up in flames due to inactivity. We managed to fix that but still haven’t figured out our latest problem. I think this is the universe’s way of telling me a blog redesign is in order!

My Mile High Mamas post today is a pretty heavy topic. It’s not something I usually delve into but I haphazardly posted a Facebook status update about it a couple of weeks ago and lo, were there ever some heated comments. I used some of them in the post so be sure to come on over and share your opinion!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Uncategorized

Feeding the Addiction

September 22, 2009 By

When a loved one has an addiction, it is easy to get sucked into their world. Sure, you know it is unhealthy for them but you just can’t refuse because you love them.

These people are called ENABLERS.

My friend Lisa shall hereby be called “The Enabler.”

Sure, I kinda owe her after a minor indiscretion that involved giving her lice. But that is nothing compared to what she did today when she sent my dear husband spiralling deeper into the world of addiction.

You see, Lisa and her husband flip or rent oodles of houses. Their latest purchase was a foreclosed townhouse. When they checked it out for the first time, they discovered it was a veritable mari*j*uana treasure trove of growing equipment. She called the cops who cleaned out a lot of the actual goods but she was left with all the paraphernalia.

And then she remembered my giant-pumpkin-obsessed husband and his makeshift greenhouse. She called Jamie and he was over there faster than Linus in his quest for The Great Pumpkin. He sheepishly walked into the door with this:


And this.


Oh, and what would a makeshift greenhouse be without this?


He claims the wattage on the latter item is too great for growing pumpkins and he has threatened to swap it out for a smaller one on Craigslist. You know. That one website where people come to your home to buy the item.

“THE ONLY LORD THAT I ALLOW IN OUR HOUSE IS JESUS!!” I proclaimed.

Evidently, one Drug Lord’s bust is another Pumpkin Grower’s dream.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, pumpkins

How An Innocent Pep Rally Can Invokes Future Child Humilation

September 21, 2009 By

Hadley will not graduate from high school until 2022.

This blatant reminder of my advancing age was reinforced at a pep rally held by our local high school cheerleaders. Kindergartners from six feeder elementary schools gathered to applaud the Wildcats and receive their very own Class of 2022 T-shirts to wear the next day as they walked our local harvest festival parade route.

Parents were encouraged to participate and, if they were pulling wagons, to decorate those as well.

It was then something very ugly was triggered. Something that I did not know even existed in the deep recesses of my mind. Some would call it school spirit. Others would call it obnoxious parents who go overboard.

You see, I was always highly competitive in sports but I wouldn’t say I had a lot of school spirit. Who could blame me? Our junior high mascot was a hippo. It’s tough to get psyched when someone calls you a barrel-shaped artiodactyl mammal.

The emergence of Said School Spirit came with a complication: READ ON

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Colorado, Hadley, Humor

Picture help needed!

September 16, 2009 By

Jamie bought me a new Sony Vaio laptop in April. Overall, it has been very functional and I enjoy it. But I have had one very big problem from Day 1: my pictures take forever to load.

OK, maybe forever is a bit of a hyperbole. Let’s just say a reallllllllllly long time. The equivalent of 2 days in Amber time.

In the beginning, it would take about 20 minutes to download a few pictures from my iPhone and digital camera. Then it turned to a couple of hours for a batch of 20 pictures.

I can’t do slideshows because each picture takes about 15 seconds to load. Rotating them? Forget it. At least another two minutes per picture.

I’ve been going out of my mind and need advice if any of you have ever had this problem and if so, how do I fix this? Does anyone have any tips on another photo management system I can use to download pictures to my network that is NOT Picasa (which I hate).

Each time I try to download pictures, I am hopeful *this* time will be different.

Some call it early-onset Alzheimers.

But when downloading my latest batch of 25 pictures, I had to throw in the towel when I received this message:


Consider this my official SOS.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor

Miss Independent

September 15, 2009 By

Hadley has been an independent soul from Day 1.

 

Of course, babies by nature are required to be dependent so you can imagine what a joy our little irascible spitfire was that first year.

 

As she has grown, she has blossomed and is becoming more enjoyable every year. She is both a social butterfly and also one who needs to be left alone to play, often for extended periods of time. Once, when her friend Alex was over, Hadley shut herself in her room claiming her needed some privacy.

 

Alex, the younger of five children, came and asked me what this “privacy” thing was all about.

 

I’ve never really worried about Hadley in social settings. She has been able to adapt to any situation we put her in and make friends. I had planned to have her ride the school bus on Mondays and then drop her off at school the other four days of the week prior to taking Bode to preschool. A few days after school started, Bode was having a rough morning so I left him with Jamie while I drove Hadley to school early. As we pulled out of the neighborhood, we spotted the school bus. I saw Hadley longingly look at it.

 

“Do you want to ride the bus?”

 

“YES!” And with that, she hopped out of the car and trotted over to the bus.

 

In retrospect, I probably should have double-checked to ensure it was actually going to her school. :-)

 

The point is, she needed no preparation whatsoever. I debated tailing the bus to school to ensure she figured out where she was supposed to go. But she was just fine.

 

Sometimes when I ask her who she played with at recess, she nonchalantly said she didn’t feel like playing with anyone. If this was Bode or anything other kid, I would be worried. “Oh no! She’s turning into a recluse!” or “Why isn’t she making any friends?”

 

But the great thing I’ve come to realize about her is she has plenty of friends. It’s just at the ripe ol’ age of 5 she’s already comfortable enough in her own skin to not need them around. Jamie and I are both the same way. When we were both single, we took huge vacations solo–I did Lake Mead and Colorado, he did Hawaii and Mexico. We figured if couldn’t find anyone to go with us, best to just go it alone.

 

But I don’t ever remember being quite as independent as Hadley at such a young age.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Inquiring minds want to know: does the Tooth Fairy have a criminal record?

September 14, 2009 By

Haddie lost her first tooth on Labor Day.

I’ll admit it: my initial thought was not about this fun milestone but rather, I was horrified to think her teeth were rotting out.

After recommitting myself to do a better job at brushing, I turned to more important matters: what to do about the Tooth Fairy.

I was a believer. Jamie was not. From the get-go, his parents told him the Tooth Fairy wasn’t real.

I’m sure they also boiled the Easter Bunny just like on Fatal Attraction and arrested jolly old men wearing a red suit for trespassing.

I’m in the camp where I think it’s fun to play along with these traditions. So much of my childhood magic centered around believing. Of course, it can get taken too far but pimping up a fairy that appears in the night to leave you money?

Sign me up.

Jamie agreed to play along with everything. We had a problem, though: there was no physical evidence of the missing tooth because she likely swallowed it. I posted a query to my Facebook friends about what to do and their responses were very helpful.

Before bedtime, I sat down with Hadley and we wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy explaining our situation. One of my FB friends suggested we also leave the Tooth Fairy a glass of water so she could sprinkle her magic fairy dust that was the same color as her dress.

I loved the idea.

We put Haddie to bed and I started scrounging around for some money. I firmly believe less is more when it comes to setting expectations so I did not want to leave more than $1. Problem is I only had a $10 bill and lots of change. I knew Haddie would deem the tooth fairy a cheapskate if I went the latter route so I went door-to-door begging for a dollar bill.

Funny thing is, none of my neighbors seemed too surprised to see me doing this.

Once Haddie was asleep, I slipped into her room, left a note from the tooth fairy and $1. As for the fairy dust, I had a stroke of brilliance. She is absolutely obsessed with the color yellow and I thought she would be THRILLED to think the tooth fairy wore a dress that very color.

The only thing I hadn’t anticipated is that it would look like the tooth fairy left her very own urine sample.


When Haddie found it in the morning, she naively sniffed it and said, “Yeah, it smells like water.”

Just don’t be surprised if you hear of any news reports about the Tooth Fairy being arrested for lewd conduct.

Do you let your children believe in the Tooth Fairy? If so, how much do you leave for each tooth?

P.S. Mile High Mamas, be sure to checkout my synopsis of the fantastic party I threw with Mom It Forward last week. It’s not every day your party-goers jump in the pool fully clothed!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, Humor

Our Labor Day Weekend…

September 9, 2009 By

…started with our annual pilgrimage to hike St. Mary’s Glacier.

It ended before we even began.

Upon arriving at the trailhead, the only parking that remained was along a steep ledge so I hopped out to guide Jamie in his parallel parking efforts. Hadley, assuming we had arrived, jumped out too.

While it was still moving.

She started shrieking. I raced over to her side of the car and found her arm caught in the door. I released it, only to realize that was the least of her problems: Jamie had stopped the car on her foot.

“DRIVE, RIGHT NOW! DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE!!!!!!”

Rest assured, I am not a person you want to be around in a crisis situation.

Confused by my hysterics, Jamie paused, unsure what direction to go. Eventually, he just stepped on the gas and rolled off her poor little foot.

We grabbed little crippled Hadley and raced her to the back of our SUV. We removed her shoe and as we surveyed the damage, Bode (ever the supportive brother), came over and demanded, “I’m hungry. Feed me now.”

He will not be mistaken for the sensitive type.

Even though her foot was miraculously fine, we skipped the hike and hung out at nearby Silver Lake before heading down to play in Idaho Springs.

Dejected from our misadventures, I promised them we would go visit Grandma Jean’s kitties when we returned home. Our neighbor had somehow left the two people in the world her cats hate most (meaning: my children) in charge while she went away for the weekend.

They jubilantly raced across the street, I punched in the code Jean had given me to her garage door and entered.

Then the house alarm went off.

She hadn’t mentioned anything about a house alarm.

I didn’t stick around long enough to figure out how to turn it off. We hightailed it over to another neighbor’s house who came back and did it for us. We settled into kitty stalking mode and all was well in the world.

Until the cops showed up.

I’ll spare you the sordid details but they almost involved a preschooler and kindergartner doing hard time for catnapping (mug shots taken two years ago prior to our trip to Mexico. Oh, the foreshadowing.)

Oh yeah, and my dear husband who debated not vouching for us.

He was obviously still recovering from my near-nervous breakdown earlier that day.

I’ll stop there and won’t mention the freezer that was left open all night and how we woke up to all our nice, expensive meat oozing all over the floor, which then inspired possessed me to spend the entirety of my Labor Day cleaning out our garage.

Have I mentioned how glad I am the long weekend is over?

So, make me feel better. Tell me about all the horrible, awful things that happened to you over Labor Day weekend. Errr…. please?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Hadley, holidays, Humor, Jamie, travel

President Obama’s Speech: Will You Be Watching?

September 8, 2009 By

In case you have been living under a rock, President Obama will address the nation’s children at noon today from Wakefield High School in Arlington, Va.

I first heard about the the debate that is swirling around his speech as I listened to NPR’s riveting social commentary in the car.

OK, so it was a call-in session on alternative rock station Alice 105.9. Don’t let that impact my street cred.

My first thought was that these opposing people were crazy. I incredulously posted on Facebook about how could anyone object to THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES trying to encourage our children to stay in school?

And then the plot thickened because I heard back from so many of you:

COME VOICE YOUR OPINION HERE. Will you be watching? Do you think everything has been blown out of proportion or do you think the government is overstepping its boundaries?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Uncategorized

Bladdering On–Mass Destruction by Night

September 2, 2009 By

Life before children used to be different in many ways. I don’t miss most of it but the one thing I miss: my glorious, impenetrable bladder.

My friend Dave nicknamed me “The Camel of the Pee World” on a backpacking trip in Yosemite due to my uncanny ability to hold it in…or just sweat it out. Probably a bit of both.

But then I had kids and a full night’s sleep? Those days are over. I now have to get up at least once in the night to go to the bathroom. Pregnancy also made me neurotic about it. “Did I go or just think I went? Maybe I should try again because I don’t want to wake up in an hour.”

Welcome to my neurosis. I did that 10 times per night whilst pregnant.

These days, I really have it down to a urinary science and practically sleepwalk to the bathroom, after which I can usually fall back asleep. Saturday night, I almost made it through the night but was awoken at 4 a.m. by my internal alarm clock. I dragged myself out of bed, went to the bathroom and washed my hands. Only this time I did something a little bit different: I turned on both the hot and cold water, opposed to just the cold like I usually do in the middle of the night.

Livin’ it up at 4 a.m.

I stumbled back to bed and fell asleep, only to be awoken at 6 a.m. by a crash and then Bode. Exhausted, I brought him into bed with me and I opted for another Girl Scout try at the potty before settling back in (again, the neurosis).

It was then that I noticed the floor was wet. Very hot and wet. Half-asleep, I waded through the water only to notice I had left the hot water running and it had filled up the sink, spilling over the counter and all over the floor. I turned it off, threw some towels on the floor and passed out in bed.

A couple of hours later, Hadley and Jamie burst into the bedroom. “What happened last night?” he demanded. “Oh, I left the hot water running for a couple of hours,” I slurred.

“Well, it leaked all the way downstairs into the kitchen’s light fixtures and it came crashing to the floor. There is now a big crack in our ceiling,” Jamie exclaimed.

So that was the big crash.

I raced downstairs and sure enough our kitchen looked like a warzone. I spent the morning cleaning everything up.

On the surface, I am obviously the one to blame for this. I left the water running, causing it to gush everywhere. But really, is it my fault? Six years ago I could go through the night without a bathroom break. I even backpacked all over Yosemite earning myself the coveted “Pee Camel” moniker.

I blame the children for this incident.

Without them, I would still be asleep.

I figure it’s only fair. Someday they will blame me for everything that has gone wrong in their lives, right?

So what do you “blame” your children for?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie