A Utah Family Travel Writer's Adventures with Altitude
We’ve had swim lessons every day the last couple of weeks and tomorrow is our final lesson. As we were rushing out the door this morning, I told the kids to put some clothes over their swimsuits. Haddie came down wearing this.
Me: Hadley, I love that skirt.
Hadley: Both my swim suit and the skirt have marching wrinkles. Aren’t they cute?
Me: (Laughing) I think you mean ruffles.
Hadley: Oh yeah. Wrinkles are the ones you don’t want.
Jamie and I have had to stay hush-hush about The Marriage Ref’s outcome for the past six months.
Not terribly difficult when you were the losers. 
But our mothers and friends have been stalking us for the insider scoop and I’m proud to say we stayed mum. One of the best things about watching it on Sunday night was seeing everyone’s’ reaction. We had about 30 friends crammed into our house for the big event and their suspense was palpable.
Jamie has an 84″ HDTV in our basement and it was such a trip to see ourselves “on the big screen.”
I followed the tweets for #TheMarriageRef and despite some grievances on formatting changes, most folks thought our episode was fun. The Pumpkin Man and Ricky Gervais were crowd favorites, as were my references to pumpkin p*orn and bigpumpkins.com (the site actually received so many hits it crashed).
When they were about to announce the winner, Jamie hammed it up for our friends and stood up to celebrate…until the deflating announcement.
There were groans, screams and proclamations of shock to learn that The Great Pumpkin had lost to a mother-in-law. We’ve long since recovered from the disappointment but admittedly that $25,000 would have come in handy given the flood of bills we’ve had to pay including Jamie’s heart surgery, my pending knee surgery, a replacement fridge, TV, BBQ, air conditioner and much more. When it rains, it pours.
But sadly, not in dollar bills.
The Marriage Ref won its time slot for NBC with 4.57 million viewers. That is a whole lot ‘o people who were privy to The Pumpkin Man’s virtues.
If you could call them that.
So, what’s next for us? My blogging friend Lizzy left this comment on my Facebook page:
I just can’t wait to see what you guys are doing NEXT year. First a little blog, then a mommy group blog, then being published on paper, then in the news, then the Olympics, then on a TV show with real movie stars… what next? You guys are awesome.
According to The Pumpkin Man: Sleep.
Last night, my husband Jamie and I battled it out over his pumpkins on the premiere of NBC’s The Marriage Ref .
Sadly, we didn’t win. I honestly did not go into it thinking we would but of course, I always hoped because that’s why we did the show. Bills were piling up and my knee surgery keeps getting pushed back. It’s not very often you get a 1 in 3 chance of winning $25,000.
But as the show progressed and the audience and celebrities were very pro-pumpkin, I thought, “We have a real stab at this!”
Oh, how great was our fall.
Some observations:
*From the offset, Jamie was beloved,I was a fly on the wall and I was perfectly happy about that. I’m usually the one who has the spotlight and it was lovely to see my dear husband shine on a national stage (even if it was regarding my big, orange nemesis). Strangely enough, he talked a lot more than I did during our segment but was edited down for time.
(Backstage with my fellow losers)
Even though we didn’t win, are we glad we did it?
You betcha. I can’t tell you how many friends have contacted me, excited to see us on NBC’s promotional blitz. I’ve worked on news sets for years (I was a broadcast journalism major in college) but this was a completely different experience. The entire process was frenzied, hilarious and fascinating. Getting that kind of access was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Well, at least until my favorite show The Amazing Race comes calling…..
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In case you missed it:
Battling it Out at Marriage Ref’s Auditions
Who Was the Rightest of the Right–A behind-the-scenes glimpse at The Marriage Ref
The Marriage Ref: In Pictures
The Ambulance, The Woman and The Wardrobe
The Good Ol’ Boys of Pumpkin Growing
Also, check-out Jamie’s pumpkin blog at DenverPumpkins.com. He has named his two pumpkins Jerry and Ricky in honor of The Marriage Ref.
Special thanks to Jamie’s sister Tammy who designed this fun invite for her Marriage Ref party!
In case you’re just tuning in, be sure to read my initial Marriage Ref announcement and yesterday’s behind-the-scenes glimpse at the NBC studios.
Today, I shall divulge the most exciting thing that happened leading up to our appearance that involved The Lion The Ambulance, The Witch The Woman and The Wardrobe.
Now, let me frame this story by divulging our dealings with the Wardrobe staff. Jamie and I were allegedly supposed to receive an email prior to flying out to NYC that explained we should bring three different outfit from which to choose.
We did not receive that email.
Communication was frenzied and sparse because they were taping other episodes while juggling our requests (in fact, we didn’t find out our taping date until a few days prior) so we thought nothing of it. Jamie and I each picked an outfit we thought would work and ended it at that.
Until the Wardrobe ladies appeared at our hotel aghast we only had one outfit.
“No worries, no worries,” the Wardrobe Lady said as if to console herself. “We have a large selection of clothing at the studio. We’ll make this work.”
‘This’ meaning ‘us.’ I think.
After doing a run-through on set, hanging in the Green Room and getting gussied up in hair and make-up, Wardrobe was my final stop. Jamie had been given a suit jacket but I was shown a rack of clothes and instructed to model three different outfits. The Wardrobe lady took pictures of me in each of my selections and sent them off to The Higher Power (whom I hoped was not the White Witch).
As we were awaiting a response, drama unfolded in the most unexpected way. The Wardrobe Lady’s assistant nestled back on her chair and after a moment, exclaimed, “Oh no!”
This is a common phrase when you live my Murphy’s Law life so I immediately perked up. Could it be someone was suffering from my bad luck by osmosis?
Yup.
Concerned, the Wardrobe Lady circled her friend, trying to ascertain the situation. “You have a huge gash in your rear end,” she announced.
Turns out, the assistant accidentally sat on her seam ripper. And this wasn’t just any wound but a gluteus maximus gash that needed stitches.
For 15 minutes, the assistant resisted attempts to send her to the hospital because she didn’t want to miss the wrap party (she’d be back in time) and because the ER is expensive (she was assured it would be covered by Wardrobe Workwoman’s comp).
They apologized profusely over needing to tend to her needs before my own but I wished them well. Butt gashes trump Wardrobe angst any day and for once I was glad to be on the other end.
No pun intended.
I have always wanted to see New York City at Christmastime so I was delighted when we were flown out for our Marriage Ref taping early-December (for a glimpse at our Serendipity-themed date go here).
But as promised, here are some additional pictures of our experience on The Marriage Ref starting with our awesome Denver film crew: J.D. (cameraman), Zoran and Casey who are holding the (what else) pumpkin muffins I made for them!
We really bonded after a long day of filming and I’d hang out with these cool guys any day. However, they may have a different opinion. The kids had recently recovered from The Plague and obviously our house was still germ-infested because the day after our taping, poor J.D. was leveled flat on his back from the illness.
Welcome to my life.
Fast-forward to New York City and we were delighted that Zoran and Casey stopped by to visit us, along with the editor (middle) who had put together our two-minute package after wading through hours of pumpkin footage.
I know they’re not supposed to play favorites but The Pumpkin Man was the only contestant he was dying to meet.
From there, we did our run-through. Here is Jamie with our competition.
To look at them, you’d never know all three were dysfunctional enough to air their dirty laundry on national television.
We spent a lot of time in The Green Room shooting the breeze with the producers and the other couples.
I was relieved that the Green Room was, in actuality, green.
There was a huge spread of food but these cupcakes were my favorites.
For obvious reasons.
I had a grand ol’ time in the hair-and-makeup room but was delighted when our primpers followed us around to give us much-needed touch-ups before our appearance.
I could get used to all the fussin’.
Because it was the final day of taping, we were lucky enough to meet the entire Marriage Ref crew prior to the wrap party. I was asked to take a picture of the group that will inevitably go down in NBC’s hallowed archives.
Just don’t tell any of those broadcast professionals my picture was blurry.
Tune in tomorrow to learn about the exciting lead-up to our appearance that was directly related to me and involved a woman and an ambulance.
It is official: My husband Jamie and I will be appearing on the premiere of NBC’s The Marriage Ref on Sunday, June 26, 2011 at 9 p.m. MST.
If you’re not familiar with this Jerry Seinfeld-produced comedy, real couples with funny disputes appear in-studio in front of a panel of celebrity judges where they chose a winner. At the end of each episode, the studio audience votes to make one of the winners “The Rightest of The Right.” That person will receive $25,000 and their very own billboard, in their hometown, declaring they are right.
Of course, I cannot disclose the outcome (something to do with NBC’s 800-page legal contract) but I am thrilled to give you a behind-the-scenes look at appearing on this hilarious network show to debate (what else?): My husband’s obsession with growing The Great Pumpkin (background information is here if you’re just tuning in).
The Auditions
I first heard that the Marriage Ref was holding auditions in Denver for funny couples with quirky disputes on the radio. I wrote about our experience at Battling It Out at Denver’s Marriage Ref Auditions but suffice it to say, we nailed the audition. A 1,000-pound gourd is nothing, if not quirky.
The Whirlwind
Denver was the final city in the Marriage Ref’s nationwide audition tour so things happened quickly after that. Our main obstacle was we needed The Great Pumpkin as a backdrop for when an NBC film crew came to Denver to film us. Pumpkin season was over and our rotting gourd was oozing its guts on our driveway. A casting director told us it would be fine to film some video with our Flip camera and so we did just that before destroying the pumpkin.
Then, a producer told us otherwise. “If there is no giant pumpkin, there is no show,” he told us. So my panicked husband solicited his buddies in The Rocky Mountain Giant Vegetable Growers Group (nope, not kidding about the name) and he was able to unearth a giant pumpkin that had not yet been destroyed. The only problem is it was significantly smaller than his own.
While I was dreading that the camera adds 20 pounds, Jamie was praying the camera added an extra 200 pounds to his pumpkin.
The Denver Filming
After piles of paperwork, interviews with NBC’s legal department, background checks and even a live session with NBC’s psychiatrist (who somehow deemed us mentally competent), we were given the green light.
Producers Zoran, Casey and cameraman J.D. flew to Denver and spent an entire day filming us. We went through every imaginable scenario: We started lovey-dovey talking about our courtship. As the day went on, the discussion grew more humorous and passionate about the big, orange wedge between us.
At day’s end, even The Pumpkin Man tired of talking pumpkins and we braced ourselves for the two-minute package that would be pulled together from 12 hours of filming.
Appearing on The Marriage Ref
In early-December, we learned we would be flying to New York City to appear on the final episode with (in my opinion) the very best celebrities of the season: Jerry Seinfeld, Ricky Gervais and Julianne Moore. On filming day, a wardrobe crew met us at the hotel to review our clothing choices. At noon, we met the two other couples appearing on the Marriage Ref with us and took a shuttle to NBC’s studios. We were encouraged to talk freely with them but not to disclose “our issues.”
Kinda tough when you’re drowning in them.
We were greeted with fanfare. Because ours was the final taping, the entire crew had assembled for a wrap party that evening. I knew I was in trouble when staffers singled out The Pumpkin Man, saying they expected great things from him. One even treated him like a celebrity, asking him for seeds.
That afternoon, we hung out in the Green Room, ate a lot of food, did a walk-through in the studio, posed for pictures, got outfitted in Wardrobe and had an extreme makeover in the make-up/hair room. We felt like royalty as a producer followed us around, tending to our every need.
And then came showtime. We were the second couple to appear (though the Marriage Ref may switch around the actual order). Anxieties were high with Jamie but I was surprisingly calm, likely due to the fact I had already stressed out when I appeared on Fox Network’s morning show, Fox and Friends a few months earlier.
As we waited backstage for our queue, we could hear the host Tom Papa riling up the crowd, “Alright everyone. WHO WANTS TO MEET THE PUMPKIN MAN?!”
The crowd went wild as we stepped onto the stage with blinding lights and electric air. We somehow made it to our seats without tripping and after we got settled, we looked up and there they were: Legends Jerry Seinfeld, Ricky Gervais and Julianne Moore sitting across from us as if we were having a casual chat in our living room.
Only this was no casual chat. We were surrounded by a studio audience and on Sunday, June 26, millions of North Americans will be tuning in to learn our fate. As aforementioned, I cannot disclose who won the $25,000 but each couple was given a Second Honeymoon to the Dominican Republic for participating.
After what unfolds on Sunday night, we’re gonna need it.
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Also, don’t miss The Marriage Ref: In Pictures and my exciting mishaps during my wardrobe fitting in The Ambulance, The Woman and The Wardrobe.
This was was originally published at MileHighMamas.com.
This weekend, our family did a road-trip to the mountains where we biked and pigged out at the Frisco Barbecue Challenge (more on that later). We fed Jamie his favorite breakfast (gingerbread pancakes with fresh apple marmalade) in bed. We showered him with homemade gifts. The dads had delicious pies at church. Really, our Father’s Day weekend would have been perfect.
If only the children hadn’t been invited.
Child #1: The Firstborn’s Death Attempt
One of my favorite places on earth to bike is around Dillon Reservoir, 70 miles west of Denver. We parked our car at the Frisco Adventure Park and rode the roller-coaster trail around the perimeter of the lake. I lagged back with Bode as Hadley surged forward on her new mountain bike with Jamie closely tailing her.
As Bode and I rounded the corner, we happened upon a curious scene: Jamie splattered on the bridge, his face lobster-red. As it turns out, Jamie had called out to Hadley, “Watch for the people on the trail,” which she loosely translated to say, “STOP, NOW!”
She gets her listening skills from me.
So Hadley slammed on her brakes and Jamie, in an attempt to avoid slamming into her, veered to the side, slammed on his brake and flipped over the handlebars, injuring the entire right side of his body (he has the scrapes and bruises to prove it).
Sensitive soul that she is, Hadley started to laugh that she had never seen him wipe-out before but after taking one look at the steam coming out of his ears, decided sympathy was the answer.
And that is why she is still alive today.
Child #2: The Second Born’s Lack of Love
For Father’s Day, we dined in our formal dining room and ate grilled rib-eye steaks, scrumptious berries, roasted garlic potatoes, fresh Lion House rolls and a variety of Ben ‘n Jerry ice creams.
Me: “I think we should go around the table and say one thing we love about Daddy!”Hadley: “I love that he takes care of us.”
Me: “How does he take care of you?”
Hadley: “He works really hard so we can have nice things.”
Me: “Bode, what are you grateful for?”
Bode: “I love that Daddy takes care of us.”
Hadley: “I already said that. You need to think of something else you love about Daddy.”
Insert long, pregnant pause with Bode deep in thought. Then finally:
Bode: “That’s all I got.”
Happy Father’s Day, indeed.
Even though Jamie and I both work from home and do most of our pursuits together, we have very distinct divisions. He does not interfere with my blogging and I have never ever delved into BigPumpkins.com.
No, it’s not p*rn.
But it certainly sounds like it.
Bigpumpkins.com is the online good ol’ boys club for pumpkin growers. On the forums, they discuss everything from “Vine Attack” to “How Much Mycco?” (and yes, these are actual discussion topics). Though it certainly ain’t my cup ‘o tea, I’m all for Jamie getting it out of his system bonding with his boys.
When Jamie and I first saw The Marriage Ref commercial on NBC with our faces on it (see it here), I had a couple of thoughts. My first was, “Wow, that was trippy!” and my second thought was, “I wonder what Jamie’s buddies are saying about all this?
And so I turned to BigPumpkins.com. I knew Jamie had posted something about the show and our air date. While most of the comments were supportive, two made me Laugh. Out. Loud.
My wife and I will be watching…this hits home in a big way. I grew two pumpkins last year and my wife called them Precious I and Precious II. It was my first year growing big pumpkins. I have two more plants in the ground right now and they are doing great. However this year I am trying hard to make life a little easier and less time consuming in the patch. Life is a balancing act.
A pumpkin dude who actually believes in balance? I didn’t think that existed. And, possibly my favorite posting:
What happens if they side with the wife? We’re doomed!
Say your prayers, Pumpkin Boys.
Jamie spent several days on a business trip to Florida a few weeks ago. I encouraged him to go but it wasn’t until I realized I would be in charge of his pumpkin patch that I started having second thoughts.
If you’re just tuning in, my husband is obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. So obsessed, in fact, that we will soon be appearing on a major television network talking about it. All winter long, he had a makeshift grow room in our basement for his seedlings and transported them outside a couple of weeks ago because they were busting out of their pots.
No pun intended. I assure you the grow room is (mostly) honorable.
Because it is still cold at night, he built temporary wooden hoop houses to shield them from the elements. Every morning, he opens up the hoop houses and every evening, he closes them down while carefully monitoring the temperature of their heaters with his bedside thermometer.
That is another blog post unto itself.
He gave me very detailed instructions on caring for the plants, mostly pertaining to opening and closing the hoop houses. It seems like a simple task but any negligence on my part could be terminal: If I forgot to close the hoop houses at night and adjust the heater, the pumpkins would freeze to death. If I failed to turn off the heater and open them at just the right time the next morning, they would roast.
That’s a lot of pressure for an amnesic Pumpkin Wife.
Jamie grows his pumpkins on our neighbor’s lot and since I’m not keen on hopping two fences, I drove around the block my first morning on the job. I started to get out of the car with my 4-year-old son Bode when I noticed our neighbor’s dogs–a vicious-looking rottweiler and an ivory version of Cujo–ready to make us into mincemeat.
I was not told the pumpkin business was a matter of life and death.
I panicked and raced around to our neighbor’s house but no one was home. Even though I was late for a meeting, I knew I couldn’t leave the overheated pumpkins to melt in a scene reminiscent of the Nazis in the Raiders of the Lost Ark. With new resolve, I drove back around to the patch and I announced to Bode, “Let’s say a little prayer for the dogs to leave.”
I’d like to say it was one of those immortal prayers, much like when Jesus introduced the Lord’s Prayer, but it was more along the lines of, “Please make the bad dogs go away.”
But you know what? Those dogs slunked off not even 10 seconds after my desperate appeal. From Bode’s reaction, you’d have thought I parted the Red Sea and he would later compare the whole ordeal unto Daniel and the Lion’s Den.
I prefer to call it the Parable of the Pumpkin Patch.
I'm a Canadian-born mom of two, former Denver Post columnist, family travel writer, editor of MileHighMamas.com and 9News contributor. Expert on all things Utah, Denver, family and travel. Lover of laughter and life. Happily married to a man obsessed with growing The Great Pumpkin. Learn More