Why we can never be on The Amazing Race together

June 12, 2013 By

My editor gave me an assignment to write my July column about how to balance retirement savings with real-time needs of your family. I thought it was an appropriate topic for me to tackle because one of my goals for 2013 is to get our financial future in order.

I got some recommendations on financial planners from friends and Jamie and I recently set an appointment. She had sent numerous documents for us to fill out and I was eager to sort through everything. Her offices are on the other side of town and we gave ourselves a half-hour buffer to get there.

Then we ran into traffic on I-25.

No worries, we’d still probably make it on time. We turned onto Colorado Boulevard and the address wasn’t getting any closer.

“Oh no! Google maps was wrong. It’s not right off I-25,” Jamie lamented. He turned around.

By this time, we were going to be late so I emailed the advisor. A few minutes later:

“Wait. The numbers are going up instead of down. We’re going the wrong way.” AGAIN. Seriously?!

By this time, we were both feeling stressed about the timing. He barked something to me about the directions (confirming we could NEVER be on The Amazing Race together), turned on his right turn signal, eased into the next lane and BAM! We side-swiped a car that had been in his blindspot.

SERIOUSLY?

We pulled off to a nearby parking lot, ensured the poor woman he hit was OK and surveyed the damage. The front end of Jamie’s car was smunched and he had hit her right around her driver’s seat door. We swapped numbers and insurance and somehow made it to our appointment only 25 minutes late.

And then proceeded to sit down and talk to her about how to plan for retirement while balancing real-time emergencies.

The irony of the situation is not lost on me.

Filed Under: Jamie

How to suck-up to your husband…and wife

June 11, 2013 By

I have (count ‘em) four trips this week, most of which are not with my beloved husband. I’m currently flying to Utah for a quick business trip and almost immediately upon my return, I will be leaving again for YMCA of the Rockies Snow Mountain Ranch to have some playtime with Bode before picking up Hadley from camp.

In an attempt to make Jamie a little bit less lonely, I made him him some Oatmeal Scotchies (his favorite) yesterday. The man has the sniffing nose of a dog and the moment I pulled them out of of the oven, he was THERE.

“Don’t touch. These are for tomorrow.”

“But they’re warm now.”

“I’m making them so you won’t be too lonely while I’m gone. Every time you think of me, you may have a cookie.”

“But then they’ll be gone in 10 minutes.”

Quite the suck-up but it worked and he started devouring ‘em before I left. Take note, men.

Filed Under: Humor, Jamie

A Week of Independence: The Johnson Kids Do Camp and Utah!

June 10, 2013 By

Jamie and I are kid-less for 24 WHOLE HOURS before I fly to Utah tomorrow for business. I tried to convince him to play hookey with me today but he was having none of that. Something about having to work to pay the bills (lame, I  know). Tonight, we’re going on a date to see Star Trek Into Darkness and eat at a new Cafe Rio that opened near our house (my fave restaurant ever).

So, why are we alone?

The Boy

On Friday, Bode boarded a plane by himself for the first time to visit his grandparents in Utah. I only cried a little bit but cried even more when a friend pointed out the gate behind him is actually to Portland!

I knew he was surrounded by people who love him but it is his first time away from home for an extended period of time so I worried a bit. If he had a different mother than me, he’d gravitate toward behind a homebody but he has really come into his own this past year and is turning into a brave, fun-loving and adventurous little guy. I called the first night after he arrived and he said he had dessert for dinner.  Yep, turns out Grandma’s ward at church was having a big dessert social and Bode loaded up on sweets.

He has long forgotten us.

The Girl

As for Hadley, I dropped her off at YMCA of the Rockies Snow Mountain Ranch near Winter Park for five nights at Camp Chief Ouray yesterday. To say she was out-of-her-gourd excited is an understatement because Miss Independence is ready to fly. And, truth be told, I was just as ecstatic for her because I always longed to attend a good old-fashioned camp in a beautiful mountain setting.

We paid an extra $175 for the horseback riding option where she will spend half her day at the stable with four of her cabin mates and then rotate through traditional camp the rest of the day. She has been obsessed with horses so this may cure her or fuel the fire.

Time shall tell if we’ll live to regret it.

We arrived promptly at 1:30 p.m. for registration and because we were among the first, whizzed through the process of checking in her luggage, getting lice-checked (Colorado state law) and her temperature taken. Before we know it, I took her to her cabin where her two bubbly counselors Laura and Lindsay were waiting. Every week at camp there is a new theme and the paper snowflakes and icicles testified they were going back to the Ice Age.

Camp Chief Ouray!

We then reviewed the schedule for the week and I almost threatened to crash her party because it sounds like so much fun:
7 a.m. Wake Up/ Dress/ Wash Up/ Clean Cabins
7:45 a.m. Flag Raising
8 a.m. Breakfast in the camper cafeteria (I’d like to be a fly on the wall for the week to see what she loads up on without parental supervision. I suspect mostly carbs and no vegetables).
8:45 a.m. Camp Clean Up (She was most excited about that).
9:15 a.m. Horseback riding (OK, this was the one she was looking forward to the most).

Click to enlarge

11:30 a.m. Pavilion Call (I hope there is a dinner bell involved).

11:45 a.m. Free Time
12 p.m. Lunch (Carbs, carbs and more carbs)
1 p.m. Rest Period. B.O.B. “Bodies on Bunks.” (I would like to see this actually happen).
2 p.m. Freedom of Choice Activities. (Include archery, riflery, sports and games, dance, drama, outdoor survival skills like orienteering, nature building, fire building, arts and crafts, hiking, mad scientist, climbing, newspaper and cooking).
4:30 p.m. Snack Time (Rejoice! I suspect she will think she’s starving because normal snack time is 3 p.m.)
4:45 p.m. Cabin Activity Time. (Archery, planning for skits, games on the ball field, cabin adventures, hiking, arts and crafts or climbing).
5:30 p.m. Flag Lowering
5:45 p.m. Dinner (I suspect desserts will be interspersed with her carbs).
7:30 p.m. Evening Program.  (No idea what is involved but I highly suspect funny, corny skits)
8:30 p.m. Vespers Campfire (Hopefully they’ll sing plenty of songs and have s’mores!)
9 p.m. Cabin Devotion
10 p.m. Lights Out (10 girls in one cabin? Good luck with that).
Since Hadley was the first to arrive, she had her choice of 10 bunks. I helped her weigh her options. “If you’re in the middle, you’ll be right in the center of the action (what I would have chosen). If you choose the sides, it will be a bit quieter and may be a bit easier to fall asleep.”She selected the top bunk on the far side left, the furthest away from the counselors (they sleep in an adjacent, open room). Smarter kid than I would have been.We said our good-byes and as I was leaving, she was already delving into her first project of decorating a sign for her bunk bed.

Camp Chief Ouray is located in one of the prettiest parts of Colorado so I opted for an adventure of my own by taking the “scenic route” (which added an additional 3.5 hours onto the 1.5-hour drive from Denver), passing through Grand Lake and over infamous Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park.

It was worth it. #Understatement

Upon arriving home, I downloaded the day’s events to my husband.

Me: “And then Hadley cried when I dropped her off.”

Him (knowing his independent daughter so well): “Cried tears of joy?”

Me: “Pretty much.”

Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Hadley, Humor Tagged With: ,

The Broadmoor: The Highlights (and Looooowlight)

June 7, 2013 By

Our latest trip to The Broadmoor was in trade for a write-up I did in their beautiful glossy magazine about the White Lights Ceremony and I was delighted it came out during our stay.And yep, those kiddos are mine were the starring models!

Pool Perfection

Our brunch was delicious, Hadley’s birthday was astounding but do you know what the highlight was? An afternoon at the pool. Now, to put this into context: Remember that I don’t like the water, which automatically discounts pools? Well, that’s a big fat usually.

We were assigned a glorious cabana adjacent to the water slides with plenty of shade, water, towels and a cabana boy at our beck and call for any drink or food that fit our fancy. The kids raced down the slides all afternoon, occasionally venturing over to the infinity pool. Anticipating I’d have to entertain them, I’d worn my swim suit but was delighted the only service they required of me was to stuff ‘em full of food. And so there I leisurely lounged on that perfect afternoon.

At one point I looked over at Hadley languidly sipping her milkshake and asked her what she thought of the experience. “Paradise,” she declared.

I couldn’t agree more.

The Spa

Jamie’s sister generously watched the kids at the pool while Jamie and I slipped out for a couple’s massage at The Broadmoor’s world-class spa. Jamie is a connoisseur of massages and if he could, would get them daily to help ease up his back pain.  His review of his experience? It was his best massage ever. Likely in part because of the talented masseuse and also because of his explicit instructions I wasn’t allowed to talk during the entire thing. Something about relaxation.

I, too loved our experience and have never been in such an opulent spa. No detail was left undone. The robes and massage tables were heated. The Mountain View Room (where we waited for our massage while sipping on flavored water and munching on healthy snacks) overlooked the manicured golf course with Cheyenne Mountain standing sentry in the background. And, if we’re being honest here, this was another highlight as well.
Or would that be loooooooowlight.

Miscellaneous Broadmoor Fun

The Boys

Dinner at The Summit

The Crazies

The Birds

When we were walking to the pool, we happened upon some birds of prey. Hadley has decided birds (particularly owls) even surpass Fat Kitty in coolness and begged to hold one.

“I’m sorry,” the volunteer kindly explained. “I’ll get in trouble if I let you do it.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” Hadley whispered.

#ICan’tWaitForThoseTeenageYears

Paddleboating Olympics

I can’t explain it but I’m always drawn to paddleboats, which is one of those activities that looks like so much fun…until you actually start doing it. The Broadmoor offers rentals on the pristine Cheyenne Lake. Because there were five of us and only four per boat, Jamie offered to sit out. I countered him saying he should go.

“No, Amber. This is your dream.”

I don’t know if that was generous or pathetic.

Lisa and I paddled around the lake spying on the swans and baby cygnets, never pausing to rest. As we made our way back, she asked if I was tired and needed a break.

“TIRED? This is my dream. I’ve been training for it.”

From the look she gave me, I think I need a new dream.

Glorious Sleep

I have never slept on a more comfortable bed than at The Broadmoor. Apparently Bode agreed because this is how I found him on our final morning.

I didn’t ever want to wake up from my dreamland either, Buddy.

The Aspiring Staff Photographer

As we were checking out at the end of our wonderful stay, Hadley asked if she could go outside to take some final photographs.

Quite appropriately, I found her with her baby swans…a rather appropriate farewell.

Until next time (because we’re hoping there will be one!!!)

Filed Under: Bode, Colorado, Family travel, Humor, travel

The Broadmoor Brunch: Tearing Families Apart and Bringing Them Back Together

June 5, 2013 By

During our stay at The Broadmoor, I didn’t demand much from my kids. Well, except for things like, “Eat your gourmet steak.” “Go on this amazing horseback ride through Pikes Peak National Forest.” “Let’s go paddleboating to see the baby swans.”

Sucks to be them, right?

One of the highlights of our stay is always The Broadmoor’s legendary brunch (consistently ranked one of Colorado’s best) and we have always posed for pictures in our Sunday best. Except this day. Remember Hadley’s I-don’t-want-to-smile-for-your-pictures phase? That morning, it was an all-out revolt because all she wanted was brunch. And all I wanted were pictures of my happy, smiling family. See the issue here? She was given the ultimatum to smile and go to brunch or just go back to the room.

She chose to semi-smile and go to brunch. A couple of the family pictures turned out so badly I won’t post them but we’ll take it.

With Aunt Lisa

By the time she walked into that gastronomical wonderland, all conflicts were forgotten. She was the first to the buffet and quickly came back loaded up with pastries.

“I couldn’t get past the first row of all the breads,” she confessed.

Bode and I took a different approach and we piled our plates with delicious fruits. “I want to eat healthy for my first round,” he explained and I agreed.

When he left for Round 2, like any sugar-loving kid, I expected him to come back loaded up with cheese blintzes with berry sauce or maybe those waffles with Grand Marnier caramel topping. But he arrived with Cheerios.

I thought Jamie’s veins were going to bulge out of his head.

“What is this?”
“Cheerios. I like Cheerios.”
“Son, let me explain something to you. You can eat Cheerios every day of your life. There are literally hundreds of things in that buffet to eat that you will never see again. You need to try all the delicious new treats.”
“But I want to eat healthy and I like Cheerios.”

Now, lest you think Bode has turned into a health nut, I assure you he has not. I’m constantly harping on them to make good food choices but this was not the time to finally do it.

“Bode, don’t take one more bite of those Cheerios.”

The waiter approached at that moment. Jamie demanded:

“Please take those Cheerios away. Bode, you’re coming with me.”

Confused, the waiter grabbed the bowl as sensitive Bode looked like he was going to burst into tears. The horror! Parents telling you to eat sugar!

A few minutes later, Bode’s plate was appropriately loaded up and its crown jewel: his very first bananas foster (the top left picture below was taken at the very moment Hadley tasted hers for the first time). Little dude never looked back. In fact, he was so inspired he stole my iPhone and took literally a hundred (blurry) pictures of the spread. And not one of them was of Cheerios.

But the story gets better. After Hadley’s fourthish trip to the buffet, she tugged on my skirt.

“I have something I want to show you.”
“Now?”
“Now.”

I followed her out of the Lake Terrace Dining Room to a majestic overlook of the property.

“Isn’t this the most magical place, Mom? Here. Take my picture.”

And then she smiled.

The Broadmoor really is a place where miracles happen.

====
Stay tuned tomorrow for the details of The Broadmoor’s famous pool, which Hadley deemed “paradise.”

In case you missed it: The Broadmoor’s Birthday Bliss and an Apology to My Daughter’s Future Husband.

Filed Under: Bode, Family travel, Hadley, Humor

The Broadmoor’s Bliss and an Apology to My Daughter’s Future Husband

June 4, 2013 By

To Hadley’s Future Husband,

I am thrilled you have chosen to join our crazy family and love our daughter as much as we do. She is a happy, funny and spirited girl who loves digging in the dirt but who also enjoys the finer things in life. That’s what I want to talk to you about today.

You see, I’m afraid The Broadmoor may have ruined her forever.  She celebrated her ninth birthday at this iconic AAA Five-Diamond luxury resort in Colorado Springs. At this “Grand Dame of the Rockies,” she was pampered, primped and indulged in every way.  As she lounged poolside in her cabana sipping a milkshake, I asked her what she thought of everything and she resolutely declared, “Paradise.”

Room Service Perfection

Imagine, if you will, sleeping on the resort’s Platinum Suite Plush non-flip one-sided mattress and waking up to painting-perfect views of Cheyenne Mountain with a glorious spread of food including Belgian waffles delivered to your room with a “happy birthday” message.Then, for her adoring family to shower her with presents fit for a queen.

And that’s a pretty cool candle-lit crown.

The Broadmoor’s Charms

Of course, a leisurely stroll on the immaculate grounds is a must after breakfast.

Charming mama swan and her baby cygnets

As is stopping to pose near the cottages, just as she did five years ago when we stayed at The Broadmoor with Grandma and Grandpa B.

Hadley at The Broadmoor: Then and Now

Memorial Day weekend at The Broadmoor is not lacking in festivities and she took it all in on the North Lawn–from face painting, to the bouncy castle to making cotton candy.

Because when you’re 9, your childhood is that much closer to fading away and it’s important to hang onto it as long as possible.

It’s also important to work off some of those calories so that’s where paddleboating Cheyenne Lake comes in handy.

Oh wait, calories don’t count when you’re 9 so no worries that she overindulged for lunch at the Golden Bee, the resort’s authentic 19th century English Pub.

Going Western

But all of those weren’t even the highlights. That afternoon, she participated in one of her favorite things: horseback riding at the Stables at the Broadmoor. After an adventurous 30-minute drive up Old Stage Road, she bonded with a kitty and her spirited mare Dixie. 

Then she was set loose to rediscover Spencer Penrose’s (the Broadmoor’s founder) bootlegging trail through Pike’s Peak National Forest past spying deers and bear-clawed aspens. The owner of the stables bought Hadley some birthday cupcakes that she graciously devoured. But what happened next cannot be matched. The owner called the stable’s resident pig Mildrid. On cue, Mildrid leisurely sauntered up the dirt path and, on demand, sat like a dog. Hadley then fed Mildrid her very own cupcake.

Think you can duplicate that, dear future husband? I’d like to see you try.

PLAY, PLAY, PLAY

But the day wasn’t over yet. That evening, her dear family gathered for a birthday celebration like no other at Play, The Broadmoor’s newest eatery that features six lanes of bowling. gourmet eats and a game room. For the next two hours, Hadley drank (two milkshakes, thankyouverymuch), ate (New Mexico Nachos, BBQ Pork Sliders and the Parmesan white truffle popcorn were especial favorites) and bowled. 

Not even her obnoxious brother and father could put a damper on her spirits.

From her dad’s “I’m on fire” to Bode’s competitive drive turning into overdrive “I’m just a little kid and I’M BEATING YOU ALL!”

Of course, no birthday is complete without a gloriously gooey chocolate cake.And what kind of parents would we be if we hadn’t brought our disco ball for a late-night dance party to Taylor Swift in our room before bedtime?

So, pretty much the bar is set unreasonably high for birthday celebrations. I’d facetiously say “you’re welcome” except her father and I still have to survive nine more birthdays after this one. Heaven help us all.

Love,

Your favorite mother-in-law

Filed Under: Colorado, Family travel, Hadley, Humor, travel
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