Tour de Colorado’s Best Dude Ranch: Devil’s Thumb Ranch

Confession: I’m not a horse lover but there is something almost enchanting about a dude ranch. It’s the fabled Western experience come to life with unsullied ranchland, campfire sing-alongs, yer very own fishing hole and, of course, cowboys in chaps.

Devil’s Thumb Ranch has it all and was my choice for Best Dude Ranch for families on our Tour de Colorado. Located 65 miles west of Denver just outside of Winter Park, this award-winning, environmentally-friendly resort and spa has a rustically upscale 52-room main lodge and 16 luxury rental cabins with a full roster of activities for cowfolk both old and young.

My husband Jamie stayed behind for work, during which time he witnessed a tornado uproot our yard in Denver. My children and I had a very different view: 5,000 acres of jade-green horse-dotted meadows flanked by the Continental Divide.

I won.

Home Away From Home on the Range

From Pack-and-Plays in the rooms to Cabin Creek Stables’ popular pony rides, Devil’s Thumb Ranch caters to kids. My little city slickers were anxious to rendezvous with the animals so we ventured out early. We were greeted with a scene out of a Western movie: a fully-loaded barn, twanging country music, a small petting zoo of farm animals and a cowboy named “Garth.”

You just can’t make this stuff up.

Garth gave us an entertaining commentary on the area as we loped around the property on our wagon ride. According to local lore, Native Americans named Devil’s Thumb – a rocky outcropping that towers high above the Ranch. As legend goes, after the warring Ute and Arapahoe tribes settled their differences in the Ranch Creek Valley, they buried the devil, but left his thumb exposed to remind them of the evils of war.

This was the extent of our Cabin Creek Stables experience but we could have stayed entertained for a week…and many families do. The stable offers half-day and full-day horseback rides, sunrise or sunset rides, cattle rides, a meadow lunch in the wagon, dinner wagon rides, a Little Cowpokes Day at the Ranch and a Kids Barn BBQ.

Activities Abound

As the storm raged back home, my children and I splashed around in Rachel’s Pool, a heated indoor entry/outdoor pool with killer views of the Divide. We played air hockey, foosball and pin bowling in the non-electronic game room in the main lodge. We watched Mulan II in the 37-seat theater, played a variety of board games in the cozy library and even worked out in the state-of-the-art Fitness Center.

The main thing Devil’s Thumb Ranch is really lacking is on-site childcare services. Since I was a single mom for the weekend, I was remiss I was not able to enjoy the 12,000-square-foot Ranch Creek Spa.

By 8 p.m., we were famished so stumbled into Heck’s Tavern, the more family-friendly of the two on-site restaurants. My body screamed for red meat. I quickly scanned the menu, saw only one such offering and ordered it. Now, I’ve had many reactions from waiters over the years but never one like this: he high-fived me.

“Did I miss something?” I queried.

“You ordered our signature 32-oz rib-eye steak. I’m impressed.”

“32 ounces? How big is that?”

He gestured something approximately the broad side of a barn.

I hesitated. Then my stomach growled. “I’ll take it.”

When in Rome on the Ranch, do as the ranchers do.

Spellbound by the Devil

Our final night, we dined on Heck Tavern’s outdoor patio adjacent to the crackling fire pit. While the kids raced around the pasture, I watched the sun slip behind the Divide, briefly setting Devil’s Thumb aflame. We took a small chunk out of the 20 miles of trails at dusk, meandering through the meadow to Upper and Lower Ponds. We launched rocks into Ranch Creek, identified wildflowers, stalked horses and, upon reaching them, Hadley professed to know how to “Speak Horse.”

Such a comfort to know I gave birth to The Horse Whisperer.

I couldn’t tell you what she divulged to her foal friends but I strongly suspect it was along the lines of “Psssssst. We’ll be back.”

I couldn’t agree with her more.

Note: This article was originally published at Mile High Mamas on August 9, 2009. Most services were complimentary or discounted.

Beaver Creek: Tour de Colorado’s Best Front-Range Destination for Families

I chose my family’s final Tour de Colorado destination carefully. We had spent the summer visiting the very best that Colorado has to offer and I wanted to go out with a bang.

Rest assured we had a bang-up vacation at Beaver Creek, my choice for best front-range destination for families. Competition in this category is steep with worthy competitors like Breckenridge and Copper Mountain. In the end, Beaver Creek’s intimate alpine village tucked away near Vail prevailed because it offered ice skating, miniature golf, a climbing wall and a bungee trampoline, not to mention some fantastic freebies.

And with a tagline like “Not exactly roughing it” there were more than a few indulgences along the way.

Beaver Creek Hiking Center

I grew up hiking the Canadian Rockies and never once did I go on a guided hike.

Well, with the exception of trailing my bird-loving, binocular-toting father with his black dress socks and shorts.

Beaver Creek’s hiking guide Alex was a breath of fresh air…and information. Our family met him at the Beaver Creek Hiking Center where he loaded us up with Hike-ology notebooks, hike descriptions and maps. We got the lowdown on their many hiking programs that vary from guided nature hikes for all ages and abilities, to private hikes that cover an 80-mile radius. The free Spruce Saddle Loop is one of their most popular and meets daily at the top of the Centennial Express lift.

We opted for the Family Fun Hike, a 2-hour guided hike around the Spruce Saddle Loop. I was a little bit wary of the 2-hour duration with my young children but that time span took into account the chairlift ride, hike, delicious BBQ lunch atop the mountain, the Big Dig archeological site (a sandbox with fossils), free field games for rent and a few tantrums along the way.

The views of the Gore Range and profusion of wildflowers stun. We saw marmots sunning themselves on granite boulders and a buck with glistening velvet on his horns. We heard pine squirrels (or chickerees), read Hike-ology interpretive signs, identified trees and ecosystems, and played in the ski school’s wooden villages. I don’t know how Beaver Creek did it but we even had our very own mule deer shadow us the entire time.

Talk about the ultimate guided hike.

Beano’s Cabin

Mention that you went to Beano’s Cabin and you’re sure to impress. The recipient of DiRoNa Awards and consistently top-ranked in the Zagat Survey, Beano’s is the most memorable and expensive culinary experience I have ever had (our tab came to $421 for five people, something I won’t forget anytime soon). This hand-hewn log cabin nestled against Grouse Mountain is only accessible via a tractor-pulled wagon or shuttle and a sleigh ride in the winter.

In preparation, we schooled our children on how to “eat like a little prince and princess,” after which 3-year-old Bode dubiously looked at us before proclaiming, “I don’t tink so.”

My fears of a non-kid-friendly atmosphere were put to rest in the shuttle—there were an equal number of children and adults. Once at the cabin, we settled in beside the crackling fire and live music. The adults ordered off a five-course prix-fixe menu while the kids gorged on their own fresh and healthy three-course menu.

Between courses, we played in the adjacent wildflower-laced meadow, watched the dancing clouds, spotted a black bear and deer on the mountain, posed for pictures and twirled to the reverberating melodies.

A porcupine personally escorted (OK, rushed us) out the door to the shuttle at the end of the evening. My 5-year-old daughter, completely entranced by this whimsical world of animals, food, and stars, sighed: “I was totally underdressed for that.”

Next time: tiaras.

Sleeping in the Clouds

Here’s a little hint: if The Ritz-Calton is your neighbor, you are in very good company. We stayed in a 3-bedroom condo at adjacent Snow Cloud Lodge, which occupies the premier Bachelor Gulch location. This exclusive community is just a stone’s throw away from the Bachelor Gulch Express lift and you can literally walk out your door to conquer a network of hiking trails during the summer months.

While the kids were perfectly delighted with their simple bunk bed, I declared our condo the most gorgeous I have ever seen with granite slab countertops, jetted tubs, French limestone floors, a Moss rock and stone fireplace, and handcrafted everything. As an added bonus, guests are given free access to the The Ritz-Carlton’s pool and their fitness center for an additional fee.

For less expensive lodging options, checkout the Comfort Inn in nearby Avon.

Fantastic Freebies

Sure, Beaver Creek’s prices may not be for the faint of heart (or for the cheapskates) but there are plenty of freebies to go around. Our first evening, we attended Fridays at the Park (Hyatt), a lively evening with music, pony rides and gondola rides for the whole family, not to mention a gourmet s’moregasbord at the open fire pit.

We also played to our heart’s content at the free Children’s Museum located next to the Beaver Creek Hiking Center in the village. The Children’s Theater Company in Beaver Creek Village holds impromptu performance and recreational-Mecca Nottingham Park in nearby Avon has free outdoor movies for the family once a week during the summer months.

Sad you missed this fantastic line-up of activities? Mark your calendars for 2010 but don’t forget Beaver Creek in the fall. There is a good reason they call their aspen-laced splendor “The Gold Rush.”

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Additional food for thought:

8100 Mountainside Bar & Grill—Located slopeside in the Park Hyatt at (you guessed it) an elevation of 8100 feet, this live action bar and grill specializes in local, natural and organic dishes featuring Colorado’s best microbrews, wines and spirits. 8100 has an extensive kid menu but if you want to ditch the kids like we did (thanks to babysitter Aunt Lisa), you will be promised a romantic evening with such delights as their Filet Mignon with to-die-for Béarnaise Sauce, Creamed Corn with local-aged Goat Cheese and Warm Beignets with a Trio of Sauces for dessert.

The Osprey—Our very first experience at Beaver Creek (with the exception of when I got us lost) was lunch at the The Osprey. This boutique hotel just underwent a $7 million transformation and has the distinction of being the closest hotel to a chairlift in North America. It features an ever-evolving tapas-style menu with signature dishes and a hand-picked wine list in a casually elegant atmosphere. The food was divine and the children’s platter was among the tastiest I’ve ever had. Nevermind they were the ones who were supposed to be eating it.

At Beaver Creek, even the children’s meals taste good.

Note: This article was originally published at Mile High Mamas on August 31, 2009. Most services were complimentary or discounted.

The “why” stage

Bode: Mommy, I need some socks.

 

Mommy: No you don’t. Just wear your Crocs to ride your bike.

 

Bode: Need some socks!

 

Mommy: Why?

 

Bode: To go roller-blading.

 

Mommy: Oh, that’s right.

 

Bode: Need you get me some socks.

 

Mommy: Alright, I’ll go get you some socks.

 

Bode: Why?

Bode: Mommy, I need some socks.

 

Mommy: No you don’t. Just wear your Crocs to ride your bike.

 

Bode: Need some socks!

 

Mommy: Why?

 

Bode: To go roller-blading.

 

Mommy: Oh, that’s right.

 

Bode: Need you get me some socks.

 

Mommy: Alright, I’ll go get you some socks.

 

Bode: Why?

Not to state the obvious….

Summer is winding down Chez Canuck. When I have a moment to come up for air (we have family visiting this week), I’ll be sure to write an overview of all our adventures.

And believe me, they are many.

In the interim, enjoy a few profundities from the kiddos.

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“Hadley, what were you doing in the backyard?”

“I was just burying worms, Mommy.”

“Oh. Well, it’s dinnertime. Can you please come in and wash up?”

“Why?”

“Um, because you were just burying worms.”

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On Monday, we went to Bode’s bestestesetest friend Seanie’s birthday party. One of the main benefits of birthday parties is devouring your spoils afterward.

Hadley: “Hey, Bode. What’re you eating?”

Bode: “A sucker.”

Hadley: “Sounds good! What does it taste like?”

Bode: “A sucker.”

The “Open Mouth, Insert Foot” Mom Blog Disease

So, remember that minor uproar I caused a couple of years ago when cocaine was found at my daughter’s preschool and the parents were not informed?

Well, let’s just say I don’t exactly win any popularity contests with their administrative staff.

I vowed I would lay low when Haddie entered kindergarten. I would be one of *those* parents–the gracious, low-key kinds. You know, the ones that blend in and people like them.

My vow lasted…well…less than a week before she was supposed to start school.

In my defense, I had no idea the person to whom I was ranting on the phone was the new principal.

And no, I’m not thrilled that she now wants to recruit “passionate parents like me” to further the cause and speak at the various boards.

I barely joined the PTA due to lack of time and now to be embroiled in this?

Come on over to read my latest saga and hear some of the hate mail I received when my article was published in the newspaper. Oh, and be sure to weigh in on what’s going down at your area kindergarten.

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My daughter will start kindergarten next Monday. I dreamed of this day during those sleepless nights with my colicky newborn. I envisioned how I would drop her off with a hug and a kiss each morning and spend my day pretending to be human again.

I thought I might even take a shower to celebrate.

I registered Hadley a few weeks ago and my reaction was very different from what I had imagined: I was annoyed.

I’m not perturbed with her or the school but rather the entire system. I had originally enrolled her in full-day classes. Those children have all the benefits of extended learning designed to further their young minds both creatively and academically.

But then the recession hit and the financial fall-out ensued. My husband and I started our own web development business during it all and we decided we could not justify the extra cost incurred with full-day kindergarten, along with paying for our son’s preschool.

Our situation frustrates me. Why, in what is professed to be the public school system, are we paying for these services? Emphasis has been placed on preschool and there are fantastic programs such as the Colorado Preschool Program to supplement families who cannot afford it.
kindergarten04
There are no such programs for kindergarten in Jefferson County, the largest school district in Colorado. A failed mill levy has left the district with more than $30 million they need to cut over the next three years and kindergarten is one of the casualties. They hope to resurrect this mill levy in a couple of years because they desperately need the funding.

Denver Public Schools, on the other hand, has broadened its lineup of half- and full-day preschool and full-day kindergarten programs to more than 80 schools. They offer full and partial scholarships.

If preschool is important, how much more exponentially imperative is kindergarten? I was surprised to learn kindergarten is not even mandatory in the state of Colorado.

Neighboring Jeffco elementary schools announced they had received state funding to provide free all-day kindergarten. Ours was the exception. Many of my friends forsook our school to open-enroll their children elsewhere.

Of course, there are some parents who prefer half-day kindergarten for their children. I get that and I’m not saying it is for every child. We don’t want our children to grow up too quickly and in the end, these children will eventually get caught up. I know better than anyone the importance of teaching our children in the home.

But why do we hold our public schools to such a low standard, professing that the most important teaching should be in the home anyway? Yes, teaching them in the home is imperative but if that’s all that mattered, wouldn’t we all just homeschool? My point is there are so many more measures and programs in place for preschool than kindergarten and that just seems backward to me.

Many teachers and parents attest there is a large gap in first grade between those who do full-day kindergarten vs. those who do not. Kindergarten is much different than the carefree days I spent in Mrs. Garcillano’s classroom in the late 1970s. Many children these days have already had two years of preschool. They’re already starting to write and read. They’re ready to learn.

Jeffco mom Larkin Harmon eloquently summed up this kindergarten gap by saying, “The sad truth is that it shouldn’t be called, ‘no child left behind,’ it really should be called, ‘no child gets ahead.’”

My daughter will receive a mere 2.5 hours in the classroom a day juxtaposed against her peers who will get 6 hours. Add in breaks or a recess and she will be lucky to spend 2 hours in the classroom. Now, I’m not a math wiz but exactly how this hours constitutes a “half day” is beyond me. This is less than most preschools where half-day ranges from 3 to 4 hours. Across the country, the majority of kindergartens are a minimum of 3 hours.

The Early Childhood Education Department at Jeffco claims the 2.5 hours was dictated by the school’s principal. The principal says it was Jeffco’s directive.

Either way, the result is the same: some children are losing out.

Update: This story ran last week in various Denver Post YourHubs throughout Jeffco. Reaction was mixed. Some agreed with my stance, others (and I do quote) said “kindergarten teachers are an over priced Nanny who ‘teaches them.’ Trust me I know. I had kids in all day kindergarten in Jeffco (what a waste of my and tax-payer money).”

Colorado Mountain Mom’s Weekend at Play!

I had unfinished business.

Two years ago, I stayed in Frisco with the children and we biked along gorgeous Dillon Reservoir. I had intended to do the 20 miles round-trip to Keystone but made it as far as the Dillon farmer’s market in what was one of my favorite days ever with the kids.

The next day, we biked 24 painful miles to Breckenridge.

That was one of the not-so-favorite days.

Last weekend, my neighbor Monica invited a bunch of women from our neighborhood to celebrate our friend Jenn’s 40th birthday overnight at her mountain home. Silverthorne is adjacent to Dillon so I knew I had to finally bike the rest of the way to Keystone.

Without the kids.

Because hauling 70 pounds in the bike trailer is highly overrated.

I dropped the children off at a playdate and drove an hour into the mountains. Now, something you should understand is I almost called the whole thing off. The weather forecast called for 50% chance of rain with high winds.

In the Amber “Murphy” Travel History, this would assuredly mean I would get struck by lightning and then blown into the lake.

But neither happened. In fact, I’d say it was even a perfect ride with ideal conditions and gorgeous views. I biked 7 miles along Dillion Lake to Keystone Lake, site of Haddie’s skating obsession last winter.

I strolled through Keystone Village, soaked up the views and sent this picture to my ice-cream-loving husband who was stuck at home working.


Because it sucked to be him.

That night, some of my besties gathered together at a Benihana’s-type Japanese restaurant in Dillon.

(Kristen, Monica, Eva, Bernie, Lisa, Jenn, Sheri, Me, Nancy)

The Bishop’s wife may-or-may-not have joked about ordering the “Magic Mushrooms.”

We later played Cranium (fully sober, though at times Said Sobriety was questionable) and chatted into the wee hours. The next morning, we hiked a few miles to Lily Pad Lake.

Or at least some of us did. Monica, Jenn and I raced up to the lake while poor Nancy broke her foot en route.

No pictures of poor Nancy.

Because it sucked even more to be her. :-(

So, let’s hear it: have you had a girl’s weekend away lately? What would be your ideal trip?

Four Corners Region—Trailing the Ancients

Originally published in Sports Guide magazine, 1999. © Photo: Philip Greenspun.

The Four Corners region means different things to different people. To Terry Tempest Williams it is Navajoland, where every conversation, every sigh uttered by the “longtime-ago people” circulates around you. To Edward Abbey, the ancient canyon art of this region was the first world language that represented images ranging from the crude and simple to the elegant and sophisticated.

To me, it was a headache to sort through what the Four Corners meant to different people. OK, so my definition is a bit of a downer. But in my non-prolific defense it was overwhelming to determine which archaeological sites, modern communities and Indian lands to cover in an area that smacks of a primeval and intangible world.

My friend John and I turned to the Visitor’s Center in Monticello for the inside scoop on following in the footsteps of the Ancients. Little did I know those ancients would be by way of the local geriatric ward. A sweet grandma greeted me at the main desk. Haltingly, I asked her if she could help me find some backcountry routes in the region.

“Of course, sweetie,” she replied. “If I can’t help, then Herbert can.” OK, I didn’t exactly capture the name of the ancient, sun-worn man she pointed to at the end of the counter. But if any man looked like a Herbert, he did. It took mere seconds to confirm that they would not be good resources. They loaded me up with brochures and John and I headed to the BLM Ranger’s station a couple of blocks away for the real scoop.

We came away with concrete plans. We would start at the Edge of the Cedars Museum and State Park and cut over to Cedar Mesa and Grand Gulch. From there, we would hit Valley of the Gods, Monument Valley, and then Canyon de Chelly in Arizona. Our final pinnacle experience of the lopsided loop would be to stand on the Four Corners marker to symbolize the end of our own Trail of the Ancients.

Edge of the Cedars Museum and State Park
We headed south on U.S. 191 to the Edge of the Cedars Museum and State Park in Blanding. For $1, we were introduced to the largest collection of Anasazi (pre-historic Puebloan) pottery in the Four Corners region. Located on the site of an ancient ruin, the museum has a collection of archeological treasures from the Ancient Pueblo Indian, Navajo and Ute Indian cultures that includes pottery and a ceremonial kiva, home to the Anasazi between A.D. 825 to 1220.

A sun marker stood just beyond the ruin. The Anasazi used this solar sculpture to calendar when to plant and harvest crops, connecting them with solar, plant life and ceremonial cycles. John moved in for a closer look as I stood back to analyze the dance of shadow and light. I gave up after two minutes of intense scrutiny and resolved there was a very good reason why I live in the 21st century when all connections with time are made with my trusty calendar and digital watch.

My favorite part of the Edge of the Cedars was the Observation Tower. This circular room’s expansive windows traced many of the Four Corner’s ranges, starting with Sleeping Ute Mountain and extending to New Mexico’s famous Shiprock and Utah’s Grand Gulch Plateau. Sometimes called Cedar Mesa, this 1,000-square-mile recreation area includes many archeological sites and was next on our agenda. The Abajo Mountains rounded out our view in the semi-circular tower.

Grand Gulch Primitive Area
I was eager to explore the Grand Gulch Primitive Area, one of the premier backpacking areas in Southern Utah. A friend had raved about an unparalleled 22-mile backpacking trip from Kane Gulch to Bullet Canyon, which winds through ancient ruins. John and I stopped at the Kane Gulch Ranger Station to get the ‘411’and permits. If the building was any indication, we were in for a primitive experience—the station was in a condemned trailer transported from Hovenweep National Monument.

The gal on duty gave me a detailed play-by-play of Cedar Mesa, home to numerous rock art panels and prehistoric ruins. Ancestral Puebloans inhabited the canyons and mesa tops between 700 and 2,000 years ago, and many of their dwellings remain in tact and fragile. For this reason, permits are limited and required for all overnight and day trips.

She tipped me off on an area outside of the Gulch in Cedar Mesa: Mule Canyon. I was immediately attracted by her description of this 10-mile roundtrip hike. Two fairly easy hiking areas are found in the north and south forks of Mule Canyon, which cut through sheer sandstone walls and ponderosa pine. But the true appeal of this trail is that it contains the highest concentration of ruins found anywhere on the plateau—more than one ruin per mile. We were sold.

Mule Canyon
We arose to the predawn colors of the desert and watched as pink, magenta, silver and purple shafts of light enticed the sun over the horizon. We were on the trail by 8 a.m.

John portentously wore his new trekking hat that his friends allegedly bought in Nepal. He bore a strong resemblance to Paddington Bear but I decided I’d have more fun with exploiting the Nepalese claim and asked if this meant he was Sherpa for the day. He was not amused. But when I pointed to his CamelBak—“the Sherpa”—he resigned himself to his station of servitude.

As we hiked, the canyon deepened and eroded alcoves lined the cliffs. The majority of cultural sites were on the south-facing slopes among typical high desert vegetation. The north-facing slopes were verdant with Douglas fir and ponderosa pine that spilled down from the Abajo range.

We had hiked about 0.75 mile when Sherpa John suddenly stopped. “Do you think that could be something up there?” he breathlessly asked. I gazed at the sandstone wall shrouded by ponderosa pine. What could his stealth Sherpa instincts be telling him? But then I looked at the ground—a giant arrow had been traced in the sand, pointing to the wall. So much for instinct. His sighting did not amount to anything, but he pulled through about 1.2 miles up the canyon where he discovered the first of a string of Anasazi ruins.

We spent the rest of the hike perched on the sandstone walls exploring the various alcoves. We crawled into the ancient settlements and marveled at the fallen masonry of the dwellings. Shards of pottery, worn but still proof of the artistic refinement of the ancients, were strewn around the rooms and organized on rocks by other hikers. The desert sun had shifted by the time we made our way out of the canyon, the colors, textures and shadows of our surroundings changing with the angle and intensity of the sunlight. Mule Canyon had come to light—and life—before our eyes.

Monument Valley
We then followed U.S. 261 through Grand Gulch until we reached the Moki Dugway overlook where we gazed down upon the Valley of the Gods and Monument Valley’s compendium of silhouetted buttes. We descended three miles on the graded gravel road and then explored the 16-mile loop through the Valley of the Gods—often called a miniature Monument Valley. The rock/clay surface road was a roller-coaster ride through a sandstone museum that included Castle Butte, Rooster Butte, Battleship Rock and Setting Hen Butte.

And then it was onto Monument Valley—land of the American West, and backdrop of hundreds of western movies and magazine ads. Where a simple image, the silhouette of a monolith held sacred for the Navajos, is enough to make us dream of infinite possibilities and empty spaces. The Navajo Nation Council designated Monument Valley as the first tribally-owned-and-operated park on July 11, 1958. More than 140 habitation sites have been found on the 17.6 million acre Navajo Reservation that straddles the Utah-Arizona border.

I was initially disappointed with how tightly the Navajo Nation regulates the valley. There is no hiking allowed off the 17-mile road unless you have a guide. We passed on shelling out $30 for a 2-hour tour, bought a $2 brochure and set out to explore the valley on our own terms as best we could.

The first monoliths we encountered were the famous Mittens, which according to Navajo legend were once deities who lived upon Mother Earth in the beginning of time. As we drove, the subliminal imagery of the monoliths, spires, buttes, mesas, canyons and sand dunes invoked a powerful associative reflex, and the distinction between reality and illusion became blurred.

We continued along the rectilinear ribbon of the road until we encountered one such mirage of the ancients. OK, maybe it was only a burro but for a moment I was transported back in time. John insisted we stop for a picture and I rolled my eyes at his hypocrisy. He generally mocks tacky tourists who take pictures of animals in the wild and then get attacked.

And then a Machiavellian plan unfolded. As he made his way back, I deviously exclaimed, “The burro is attacking!” Instinctively, John raced back to the Jeep to find me laughing hysterically. In his defense, he weakly said, “I thought I heard him running.” My query, “Do burros RUN?” did not lesson the pain. He will not be stopping to photograph wild and ferocious burros anytime soon, I’m sure.

Canyon de Chelly
We were intoxicated with the sights and smells of the labyrinth called Canyon de Chelly from the moment we arrived in Arizona’s northeastern desert haven—from the pungent scent of the vegetation, to the purity of the dust and the lucidity of the air.

Canyon de Chelly (pronounced d’SHAY) is really several canyons that rise as high as 1,000 feet above the floor, overshadowing the streams, cottonwoods and small farms below. The Canyon de Chelly National Monument was established in 1931 to preserve the land where people have lived for nearly 5,000 years—longer than anyone has lived uninterrupted anywhere on the Colorado Plateau. Embracing nearly 84,000 acres within the Navajo Reservation, the monument is administered by the National Park Service but belongs to the Navajo people.

Backcountry camping was out of the question in Navajoland so we stayed at the Cottonwood Campground, which was free of charge. We stopped as the Visitor’s Center in the morning and learned the rules and regulations were similar to Monument Valley.

With the exception of one designated trail, we were not allowed to hike unless we were on a tour or with a Navajo guide. The tours cost $40 for a half day, or $15 per hour with a private guide, with a minimum of three hours. We opted to explore the south and north rim drives on our own, which took in famous ruins such as the Mummy Cave and the Sliding House.

The highlight of Canyon de Chelly was the 2.5-mile roundtrip hike to the White House ruin. We followed the trail along the rim for about 1,000 feet before descending steeply into a canyon that had been polished by eons of sandpaper winds.

The White House was like an apparition floating in the cliffs. Built and occupied centuries ago by ancient Puebloan people, it is named for a long wall in the upper dwelling that is covered with white plaster. At its zenith, the village housed about 100 men, women and children in 60 rooms. The pottery shards surrounding it testified to the leavings of an ancient civilization.

I could not wait to document the ruin on paper and film. Until I realized I had forgotten my notebook. And then my camera malfunctioned. Regardless, we were in good spirits when we finally made the steep ascent back to asphalt and civilization and prepared for the final leg of our Trail of the Ancients.

Four Corners Monument
The sprint to the Trail of the Ancients finish line had a few speed bumps. Our final stop was at the Four Corners Monument, the only place in the United States where four states and two Indian nations share borders. Established in 1912, this monument was to be the capstone of our Four Corners tour.

I had envisioned our crowning moment. The desert sun would blaze down upon us. We’d explore the Visitor’s Center and small jewelry shops on the perimeter of the monument before planting ourselves on the marker. And we would smile like tacky tourists as photographs were taken to document the experience for posterity.

Of course, that was the illusion. Reality was that we got caught in a blinding sandstorm. We skipped the booths and made a mad dash to the marker where we stood for a good five seconds.

And pictures? Get real. Don’t forget the broken camera.

Total elapsed time at the monument: five minutes.

The total elapsed time of finally hearing the silence of a region that many revere as sacred: timeless.

-Amber Borowski Johnson

Thumbing with the Devil

So, while my dear husband was holding down the fort at home as his pumpkin got pummeled by a tornado, find out what I were doing.

And just how much I was eating.

Note: This is not the actual size, which was about 10 times bigger.

READ ON

A sneak peak at when you peaked

I had a pretty interesting conversation with my Facebook peeps and I’m interested in your feedback.

In one of my illustrious status updates, I joked that I reached my peak in sixth grade. I was only kinda kidding. That was the year I took home the best all-around athlete and student award, beating out some very deserving students who went on to become doctors, lawyers and curlers.

This was, after all, Canada.

The years that followed were pretty anti-climactic. In junior high, I was always on the honor roll and won all kinds of sporting awards but my heavens, I went through that ugly/awkward phase.

I would show you pictures but I burned them all.

In high school, I was in the Calgary Herald’s Sports Hall of Fame for volleyball and kicked some serious soccer arse. But academically? Let’s just say I wasn’t really there.

Literally.

Hence the reason I had to take math in summer school before college to make up for all those classes I skipped.

Socially, I was a late bloomer. I was an extra for a movie the summer before my senior year and dated a jerk I met. I had a serious boyfriend for several years during college and our successive missions (5 year total). But I never really blossomed until after I graduated from college and had dates. As in plural. As in that had never happened to me before.

And so I peaked intellectually in sixth grade and socially in my late-20s.

No wonder they call us dumb blonds.

So, I’m curious to hear your feedback. When did you peak intellectually, academically, athletically, etc.?

BlogHer ’09: The Year of the Wiernermobile

I was not going to attend BlogHer ’09 and I was OK with that. Though I made some great friends at BlogHer ’07, I found the event entirely too cliquey and overwhelming. BlogHer ’08 in San Francisco was better but I still wasn’t feeling it.

My only saving grace were those bacon mints from China Town.

So, when I got wait-listed for BlogHer ’09, I decided it was a sign I was not supposed to attend. But then the skies opened and the good Lord smiled down upon me to the tune of Sara Lee offering to fly me to Chicago a couple of days before BlogHer for a fantastic back-to-school nutrition summit (that I’ll talk more about later).

And then I knew I had to stick around for BlogHer.

I had fabulous roommates: Secret Agent Mama Mischelle is just the sweetest life-sized Macedonian doll who I would have bottled up and taken home with me if only she didn’t snore. :) Hilarious Sarcastic Mom Lotus was the partier: she threw the Room 704 Party (one of the largest non-sponsored parties) and didn’t even come back another night because she was up playing. Fruit Lady Amy was my fellow Colorodoan who was supposed to be my snuggle buddy but between her staying with a college roommate one night and me taking Mudslide Mama’s empty room another, we only had one night to spoon.

My last year’s roommate Michelle from Scribbit is still recovering from last year when I allegedly attacked her.

Sadly, my camera is near death so I really didn’t take very many pictures but I did write a synopsis over at Mile High Mamas today.

It involves the best swag, the best party, the biggest controversy and the absolute highlight of BlogHer ’09: RIDING IN THE WIENERMOBILE.

Shotbun.

It doesn’t get any better than that, folks. READ ON